The Month in Theaters December 2021

So much more to see this month. I managed to get to the theaters eight times in the month of December, although that included one movie I saw twice. Beyond that, I watched fourteen other movies. For those counting at home, that’s twenty-one total reviews. Let’s just jump right into it, shall we? MILD SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Encanto

This movie was fine, but the issue is that it has no villain. On top of that, it ends very abruptly. The songs were fine even if only one was really memorable in any way. A magical house that gives descendants of the matriarch special abilities but didn’t give anything to the protagonist for a reason that is never explained. It’s a C. Strangely, the movie went to Disney+ only a month after release, shortened from the usual forty-five theater exclusivity of movies like Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings.

West Side Story

The Steven Spielberg remake of the Broadway classic is not better than the original movie. I saw some people criticize the movie for adding a bunch of “woke” elements to the story, but I didn’t really notice any outside of creating a new character for Broadway heavyweight Rita Moreno to play. I mean, she was Anita in the 1961 film. In the original story, Doc is the storeowner at a place where the Jets tend to congregate, but in this movie, Doc is dead and his widow, played by Moreno, runs the place. The only thing to really write home about in this version is the dance choreography. It was excellent. And the colors popped so well during the pseudo-prom dance sequence. This is not getting better than a C from me. The 1961 classic is still the best modern times take on Romeo and Juliet.

Spider-Man: No Way Home

This movie was awesome. Fan service done so right. This was the one film I saw twice, and it is easily movie of the month. A+. I don’t want to spoil the big thing that happens in this movie even if most people on any social media probably have had it spoiled for them eighty times already. And despite the fact that pretty much everyone who wanted to see this movie has probably seen it already. I don’t spoil good movies unless I know the person that I’m talking to has already seen it. All the returning villains did an excellent job. This is assuredly the best of the three MCU Spider-Man films. I can’t wait to see where Peter Parker’s story goes from here. Such a good theater experience.

The King’s Man

A movie released nearly two years after it was originally scheduled to be. Valentine’s Day weekend 2020 was when this was supposed to come out. Sonic the Hedgehog moving to the same weekend shifted the release date to November 2020 but then COVID hit. I will say this, much like Free Guy, the explosion of movie trailers due to fuzzy release dates did not spoil the movie much. Weirdly, though, they released a trailer that did spoil a lot that was in front of a movie I saw later this month. While I enjoyed the movie, it is likely the worst of the three movies in this franchise. B+ to A-. I absolutely adored the first movie and really liked the sequel. This prequel very clearly sets up a sequel without feeling like it earned it. A plot event that is inevitable based on what little we learn about the spy agency’s founding in the first movie is handled very poorly. It feels cheap. The action in the film is wonderful. Rasputin is played by The Lizard from The Amazing Spider-Man and Spider-Man: No Way Home, which I thought was funny.

Nightmare Alley

This was well-acted but boring. I fell asleep for a moment in the first act probably about a half an hour in the movie. I didn’t miss much. The concluding plot point can also be seen coming a mile away, even if it was slightly humorous. I just feel like there was not enough plot to justify the film’s runtime. This is another C. I expected so much more from this movie.

American Underdog

I went into this movie knowing pretty much nothing about Kurt Warner. As is usually the case with “based on a true story” films, going in knowing little adds to the tension and the drama. Zachary Levi is excellent in the film, comes off in the movie as a very likeable dude. I love stories where a person succeeds against all odds. I give this an A-. I’m not that big into football, but I tend to really enjoy sports movies.

A Journal for Jordan

Denzel Washington directs this “based on a true story” movie where the trailer made it very obvious what happens to Michael B. Jordan’s character. The drama is good for what it is, the love story is decidedly unique. It does have some schmaltzy elements, but that’s hard to avoid in such a story. It does run a little long. I guess I’ll give this movie a B-.

ALL OTHER MOVIES

As per usual, I will mention some shows I watched before getting into the movies I saw outside of theaters. Unfortunately, I didn’t get much more into Cold Case this month, although I will finish it. The Witcher season two came out, which I enjoyed. The fourth season of Cobra Kai released a few days ago, which I will almost assuredly tuck into at some point after I finish writing this article. Hawkeye concluded by bringing back a fan favorite character from the Netflix Marvel shows, but in a slightly confusing way. Young Justice is still plugging along. While I enjoy the world-building, it does feel weaker than the first two seasons and about on par with the third.

Marvin’s Room was just OK. Thinking back on it, I didn’t really remember much. I read the unusually short plot summary on Wikipedia to refresh my memory. It was well acted, but lacked payoff for any of the drama. A C-, I guess?

A Christmas classic and one of my favorites of the genre, Elf is awesome. That’s an obvious A+. It has aged very well off the incredibly infectious bubbly personality of Will Ferrell’s Buddy. If you’ve never seen this movie, just do it. The only real criticism I can lodge at the movie is the romance isn’t really there.

A Matter of Justice is a ‘90s made-for-TV three-hour movie that only had one actor in it that I can name, Martin Sheen. It has murder, kidnapping, and some light legal drama. The antagonist of the piece is wholly detestable. I greatly enjoyed myself. This movie earns a B from me, largely due to it being three hours. I feel like they could have shortened this movie by about a half an hour easily.

Ron’s Gone Wrong is a par-for-the course children’s animated movie that doesn’t really do anything spectacular nor does it overstay its welcome. Perfectly serviceable. Not worth more than a C+ to B-. The kind of movie you can put on streaming that will keep the kids’ attention for a couple hours.

8-Bit Christmas is a new Christmas movie released to HBO Max for the holiday season. The ending feels cheap, but the kid actors in the film do a good job. Neil Patrick Harris was fun as the flashback narrator as well. The humor was there, but that ending kind of pissed me off. This is a B-.

I did see in theaters back when it was originally released, but I recently rewatched this movie with family. 12 Strong tells the story of one of the first military missions in the War in Afghanistan. I enjoyed myself the first time and enjoyed it on rewatch. That’s a B.

Perhaps my favorite Christmas movie of all time, Home Alone is a stone-cold classic. A+ without a doubt. While the rest of the franchise after the second movie is just not good (which is largely why I am avoiding the one recently released to Disney+,) the original stands the test of time.

Being the Ricardos, recently released to Amazon Prime Video, is fine. I don’t really have a lot to say about it. Having an actress playing Lucille Ball dropping F-bombs was certainly shocking. The acting was good, but the plot seemed cobbled together. It’s a C.

Die Hard is a top five all-time action flick for me. While it is technically a Christmas movie, I leave it off rankings of such movies. The movie that put Bruce Willis on the map that he’s been largely coasting on since. A clear A+.

I’ve never been the biggest fan of A Christmas Story, but family wanted to watch this on Christmas. I’d give it a B. The biggest surprise for me is I thought the narrator was Adam West and he definitely isn’t.

Blazing Saddles is easily one of the best comedies ever made and my favorite Mel Brooks film. An absurdist comedy masterpiece. It’s streaming on Netflix if you’ve never seen it. A+.

My favorite romantic comedy of all-time is probably While You Were Sleeping. A sweet love story with some great humor. Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman are excellent together. A to A+.

Matilda is a movie I watched a lot as a kid that definitely holds up. I’d set it at an A-. Not much to say. It’s a good time.

A movie I was surprised got such a thrashing from critics, The Unforgivable was really good. Sandra Bullock plays a woman released from prison after twenty years who is trying to put her life back together. It is hard to discuss this movie without spoiling it, but just know it is streaming on Netflix. This is an A- to A from me.

Just like last month, not a single major release the first weekend of January. As for movies coming out in January, I am really looking forward to the fifth entry in the Scream franchise. I will likely write my top ten movies of the year list in the coming days. A movie I watched on New Year’s Day is almost surely to make the list.