Someone was going to claim it, and here it be: The real cardinals of the actual conclave to pick the next Pope are watching Conclave the film to get the particulars down. At least, that’s what Politico is attracting clicks with:
The movie, directed by Edward Berger, features English actor Fiennes as Cardinal Thomas Lawrence, the dean of the College of Cardinals. As the pope-appointed steward of the conclave, he has to deal with fractious clerics, the emergence of scandalous dossiers targeting papal favorites and the appearance of an unknown candidate from an obscure diocese.
It all might sound painfully relevant. The film is seen as remarkably accurate even by cardinals, said the cleric, making it a helpful research tool, especially at a time when so many of the conclave participants have little experience of Vatican politics and protocol.
A majority of the cardinals who flocked to Rome in the weeks since the death of Pope Francis were appointed by the late pontiff, and have never experienced a conclave. Mirroring the Fiennes film, many also come from small, previously overlooked dioceses across the globe.
The film was released four months before Pope Francis’ death on April 21 and provided an extraordinarily well-timed primer for millions of people who developed a sudden thirst for to-the-minute updates on papal front-runners and ecclesiastical intrigue after the real-world version was set in motion.
Pre-conclave lobbying has already proved a hotbed of scandal no less sensational than the Hollywood imitation.
Hardened Vatican insiders have leaked anonymous barbs against rivals to the Italian press, abuse allegations have surfaced against several top contenders, and one disgraced cardinal connected to a major financial fraud was controversially banned from the proceedings after the disclosure of a dramatic posthumous letter by the late pope
There’s a scene in Conclave where Stanley Tucci’s Aldo goes off on Ralph Fiennes’s Lawrence when the latter denies ever thinking about becoming Pope himself. “Oh, every cardinal has that desire! Every cardinal, deep down inside, has already chosen the name by which he would like his papacy to be known!” Which not only rings true but also tempers the notion that the cardinals don’t know the particulars of how they themselves would rise to the post they are eligible for. So, sure, the real-life cardinals have probably seen the movie but, no, the idea that men who have spent their entire lives climbing the rungs of the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic ladder don’t know the process is a Pope hat too far to believe.
Still, with Conclave the film coming out only months before conclave the real-life event, the film being the filter for the faithful and unfaithful alike to view the proceedings is inevitable. Accuracy always gives way to convenience, after all, especially for dramatic purposes. The mysteries of the Church of Rome combined with the internal machinations of very human men aspiring to the most elevated of spiritual offices that also wields immense tangible power is irresistible drama.
Democratically elected infallibility makes for a heck of metaphor for our present dispensation of time, whether you are Catholic or not. The Roman Catholic Church being the largest of the Christian churches at 1.2 billion adherents strong, and being interwoven with the vast majority of Western history and development since…well, you know who…the periodic search for the Next Pontificate Star is always fascinating. In the social media era of an interconnected world, it will be one of the most streamed, shared, and carefully watched events in history.
With that attention will come a whole bunch of nonsense. Major media outlets have spent the time since the death of Pope Francis with the expected lists of “favorites” to be the next Bishop of Rome. American social media has been having fun comparing the conclave to the recently held NFL Draft. And, of course, Conclave the movie is benefiting from some of the best timing ever by a feature film and shot to the top of the streaming lists.
But no one knows what is really going to happen, and when the conclave is over we will know who the new Supreme Pontiff is, but still won’t know how it happened, or why. In a world where access is everywhere for everything all at once via technology, the papal conclave is one of the few worldwide events that still has real mystery to it. Perhaps those days are numbered, and some cardinal goes rogue on TikTok or Facebook spilling the tea on the Holy See, as the kids say. Sequestered or not, the cardinals are powerful men who know how to get information out for various purposes to the press, and at some point video and audio might find their way into that mix, confiscated cell phones or not. But for now, all eyes will be on the purpose-rigged chimney several times a day for however long it takes to get some white smoke.
When Conclave the film came out attention was given to the plot twist ending as it fit into the political/social discourse as content. But the film really struck a chord of how these elevated men in grand vestments surrounded by rituals, opulence, and centuries of history deciding on what Fiennes Lawrence described as “the most famous man in the world” are still just men when the doors shut. The recited words fade, the stunning Sistine Chapel art gives way to plain living quarters, and silence recalibrates the grandest into their true place of smallness. The film is masterful in making sound its own character: the shutting of doors, the breaking of seals, the scrapping of pens across paper, the heavy footsteps on marble floors that have seen thousands of holy men and centuries of history stomp to and fro hurrying to do important things in moments now mostly lost to history. Sound and silence carry the film as much as the all-star cast at the top of their game.
If we must use a film to filter this exercise in faith, maybe that is the better marker of where we are as a world and people. For all the many, many faults and failures of the self-professed one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church of Rome choosing the next pope is a moment — an increasingly rare moment — that redirects the noise of the media world into a singular event. For our Catholic friends, the direction of their church for the foreseeable future will be at stake, along with the usual questions of reforms, revelations, and reaching an unbelieving world that has plenty of valid reasons to not believe. For the rest of the world, it is as good a time as any to contemplate the intersection of the spiritual and the temporal, and how humans not only seek the divine, but figure out a way to build a truly impressive power structure around trying to get to heaven.
Conclave the film is a great movie. Conclave the conclave will be a drama even Hollywood couldn’t script. Shame we will (probably) never know about it.
One of the big things that Hunter Thompson brought back when he was novel was that he’d tell us the stories that journalists only told each other in the bar after their story was submitted.
The real story will involve three-pack-a-day Cardinals arguing with four-pack-a-day Cardinals about some weird intricacies that you need to speak Italian to understand coupled with a weird mix of the guys who have their top three priorities in *THIS* order arguing against guys who have their top three priorities in *THAT* order.
And, when they come outside temporarily to order some chicken piccata and another gross of cartons of Marlboro Reds, Camel Lights, and Pall Mall Filterless, they’ll say that they’re close, seriously, this close… because everybody has their top three priorities in the right order, they’re just arguing about particulars.
And back to the yelling in Italian about some weird stuff that Americans (even the Catholic ones) have never even heard of.
I guess this sort of thing wouldn’t survive with a Hunter Thompson.Report
In my observation, Gaulloises are pretty popular in Italy (as well as France, obviously), and a brand with Cyrillic lettering that I can’t read. Apparently you can still get Chesterfields there too, and we all should remember Ronald Reagan’s advice: Chesterfields taste good like a cigarette should.Report
Imagine hanging out behind the rectory and bumming a Chesterfield off the Cardinal.
We used to be a country. A proper country.Report
I thought the movie Conclave was beautiful and lush in its use of visuals and sounds and really weak on plot. LIGHT SPOILER: One after another candidate appears to be the on the verge of election until the conclave finds out that nope, he’s just a morally flawed man after all, so the big white hat is de-nied!. Eventually we get a winner, whose flaw is … different than the others’. The story left this viewer cold. But even though the story was weak, it was a beautiful piece of filmmaking.
The real conclave? I suppose it matters; the RCC is the world’s largest single religious group and in some ways the Pope is kind of a spokesperson for all of Christianity to other faith traditions, whether or not the other denominations like that reality. To me, though, it feels like a good place to start accepting the wisdom that this is wholly out of my ability to control or influence or know or understand. I’m not one of the 133 dudes who gets to decide; I’m one of the billions of people outside the conclave who gets to accept the result when it happens (or not, I suppose) and then return to my regularly-scheduled life as a secular American.Report
Agree completely. Acting was excellent, a beautifully shot film – but not a great one.
From the jump, it’s pretty obvious who is going to end up Pope. And the “twist” at the end made my eyes roll so hard I think I concussed myself.Report
I agree with the secular esquire.
I kinda feel that a lot of the quality in actors and setting was wasted on poor plot and script.
That is, the concept and setting of a conclave admits to dozens of really compelling dramas (and maybe even a farce or two), but this was just too bland and tried to hard on matters they didn’t quite master.Report
I assume the farcical sub plot would involve John Cleese as an under appreciated but nevertheless stand up Cardinal accidentally locked in a bathroom or lost in the catacombs at the last minute and missing his big chance.Report
Heh… hear me out it’s still Ralph Fiennes, but involves a map, pastels, symmetrical framing, and a subplot involving an escape. Bill Murray makes a cameo.Report
The Pope Must Diet! wasn’t as good as its conceit.
But what script could possibly live up to “the wrong guy becomes pope”?
That said, “Do you know who I am? I’m Cardinal Rocco! You’re lucky you’re being fed here!” was one hell of a line.Report
So an ecclesiastical spin off of the National Treasure franchise then.Report
I was thinking more Grand Vatican Moonrise Conclave… but there’s always room for a romp theough the Vatican Archives…Report
I thought most of Conclave was very good. The last third and the “surprise” at the end felt a bit risible.Report
Smoke enthusiasts will be pleased to know that we have black smoke at the Vatican.Report
::Hobbit voice:: First black smoke, but what about second black smoke?Report
Looks like we’ve been Poped.
About 30min until we learn who.
Quick conclave like this? Initial guess would be Parolin. But prepared for anyone.Report
I’m kinda surprised they didn’t wait for a Friday afternoon news dump.Report
It’s a Chicago guy! He can bring beefs to Vatican City.Report
An American Pope?
This used to be a punchline.
I don’t even feel like making intersex jokes.Report
That was very unexpected. The Americanness, not the jokes.Report
“Walk into the Conclave as a Pope and you’ll walk out as a Cardinal.”
Now we can forget that for a couple of decades again.Report
Apparently he was at 0 percent on the betting marketsReport
Shouldn’t have been 0% … he was on the radar as a possible fall-back ‘continuity’ candidate.Report
Apparently a Sox fan, so I’m already suspect of his prudence.Report
Finally, a Pope that knows not to cheer for a fly ball hit shy of the warning track.Report
LMAO! Oh man that had to sting!Report
Ahhh, you gritty Sox fans just can’t enjoy the simple beauty of fly ball arcing into the sunlight framed by the ivy as it cathunks into leather.Report
An American Pope! And one who had choice words for JD Vance!Report
From Chicago — deep dish v. neapolitan. (Sorry Cardinal Pizzaballa)Report
That deep dish stuff is for tourists, man. He’s bringing square slices to Vatican City.Report
Either way, still better than any Pizza I’ve ever had in Italy.Report
Y’all have had some ridiculous opinions on this site, but this one fa il botto.
I had a pizza in Modena with fontina, prosciutto that might have been from their own basement* and local balsamic, that I have dreams about.
* Not in Modena, but down the street in Parma itself, I used a bathroom in the basement of a restaurant, and most of the basement was taken up with ham hanging from the rafters to cure.Report
I stand by my claim! I’ve had lovely anti-pasti that included warmed bread, cured meats and cheese… but no good actual pizza.Report
An American Pope! And one who had choice words for JD Vance!
Aaron Reichlin-Melnick
@reichlinmelnick.bsky.social
The new Pope didn’t tweet once in 2024. In 2025, he’s posted 5 times, in which he:
– Criticized JD Vance’s views on Catholicism and Jesus
– Posted an article opposing Trump’s immigration policies
– Retweeted twice about the Pope’s health
– Retweeted a criticism of Trump & Bukele’s laughter at KAG.Report
Do you think he’ll be more conservative than Francis on Palestine or more progressive?Report
I think he will be forced into retirement as soon as he introduces Deep Dish to the Vatican City CafeteriaReport
This may sound unorthodox but I have a good way for Democrats to lock up the Presidency for at least two terms.Report