A Few Funny Things About Bob Dole, Since Bob Dole Passed Away

It took social media mere moments from the announcement of Bob Dole’s death to do what social media does best: folks doing whatever they wanted to do anyway, but spinning breaking news as their latest excuse for it. In the case of high-profile political figures who pass away, the well-worn ruts of overpraising the dead or dancing on their not-yet-filled graves is to be expected. Especially with a complex and very long legacy of someone like Bob Dole.

Bob Dole was a man of many parts, as Bob Dole himself would admit. His habit of referring to himself in the third person and with full name immediately made me think not of the political, but of the comedic. How funny life is, that the much younger man who used the “Bob Dole” third person joke to impersonate him, Norm MacDonald, would precede him in death. As would his 1996 running mate Jack Kemp, placed on the ticket in no small part as the “younger” insurance policy to the then-already 73-year-old Bob Dole at the time.

So, no, I didn’t think of Bob Dole’s complex legacy. His reputation both as Ford’s running mate and later as the heavyweight Republican senator who didn’t mind being called a “hatchet man,” as Walter Mondale famously tagged him in a debate. He didn’t mind, as long as it got him and his party the votes to pass legislation and kept everyone in line. Nor did I immediately think on his remark in that campaign — that he regretted for the rest of his life — about all wars being “Democrat Wars”. Even his later public embrace of Trump, the only Republican Presidential Nominee to do so, never really enter into the equation at all. I did recall his World War 2 service where the Nazis shattered his right shoulder and collarbone clear down to his spine, permanently disabled his right arm, and left Army medics thinking he wouldn’t live. I recalled him being a hardliner for Republicans on some issues while sometimes championing things like disability rights across party lines. A career that started with the local Democratic Party heavy talking him into running went thusly, as written in the Washington Post:

When he campaigned for the Republican presidential nomination in 1988, Mr. Dole told this story about his entry into politics upon his return to Russell after the war and his recuperation.

The leading Democrat in town said he should consider running for office. The young veteran protested that he knew nothing about politics. His visitor replied: “It’s not necessary. You got shot. I think we can get you elected.”

The leading Republican visited. He, too, said the young veteran should run for office, but as a Republican.

Why a Republican?

“Because there are twice as many Republicans as Democrats in Russell County,” came the reply.

“So,” the candidate for the Republican presidential nomination told potential voters in characteristic sardonic humor, “I made a great philosophical decision right there on the spot. I’d learned how to count in the Army.”

Humor seems to be another complex part of this long and varied legacy. ““I slept like a baby,” he quipped about election night in 1996 when he fell short against President Bill Clinton, “Woke up crying every two hours.” He once told a meeting that his wife and then-Transportation Secretary Elizabeth Dole should fill potholes with her biscuit recipe. Typical of his dry but usually well-timed humor, the passing of Norm MacDonald was marked by the former US Senator with a pitch perfect “Bob Dole will miss Norm MacDonald”.

A man permanently disabled and left for dead early in life with every right to not accomplish anything, Bob Dole met his end after a near century run. Such a man would need some humor, along with a lot of guts and determination, to do that. That same drive and ambition would lead him to some dark places policy and ideology-wise, and a long career in politics rarely leaves anyone with clean hands and a guilt-free conscious. But flaws, complications, and all, on the balance America is the better for having such men as Bob Dole spend their lives serving her and our people.

So, the first thing I thought of when I heard that Bob Dole had shuffled off his mortal coil was to think of that tweet proclaiming “Bob Dole would miss Norm MacDonald” when the comedian passed. I thought of him doing so knowing his own end was coming — having been diagnosed with lung cancer back in February — yet Bob Dole once again using humor with natural timing. Life is more than politics, even when your life has been politics, as Bob Dole well knew from nearly dying before he got a chance to do either. Some things in life, like in politics, are so serious you just have to laugh about them. Including death.

Life is just funny like that. Somewhere on Sunday morning, I like to think, Bob Dole met with Norm MacDonald, they pointed at each other, and simultaneously exclaimed that “Bob Dole has missed Bob Dole” and the two masters of dry wit had a good long laugh about it. Then the laughter trails off, as they both realize Bob Dole is pointing at Norm using Bob Dole’s right arm, and they laugh once again, even harder.

It works just fine now.