Saturday Morning Gaming: Balatro

Okay. It’s a poker-themed roguelike deck building game. I mean, you already know how to play poker, right? Well… this is a game where you pick your deck (that comes with a bonus of some sort) and start building poker hands.

Here’s a couple of examples of the fifteen decks available:

Pretty straightforward. Get an extra hand or get an extra discard. Fair enough.

So then they give you a choice:

Do you want to fight the small blind, score 300 points, win a little money, then spend some time in the shop?

Here’s what that looks like…

Each hand you can play gives you a little formula like:

A full house has a base score of 40 X 4 but each card you play adds to that 40. An ace would add 11 points, each face card would add 10, and the face value of the number cards. So 8s over 3s would add 30 to the 40 and give you a base score of 70 x 4. On top of that, you get the benefits of any jokers who give bonuses. So maybe a joker would give you a couple of chips to add to the 70. Or maybe it’d add to the multiplier and give you a 6 or a 10 or something there and let you score 70 X 10.

Beat the posted score *OR* run out of hands and start over.

OR
Would you prefer to skip the fight and get a bonus of some sort? Maybe the bonus will be a free reroll of the items in the shop. Maybe it’ll be a free joker with some sort of boost. Maybe it’ll be a free booster pack. (A booster pack of playing cards? A booster pack of Jokers? A booster pack of Tarot cards? A booster pack of Spectral cards?)

And then, once you’re past both the small blind or big blind, you fight the “boss”.

The boss has a beefy point score to beat and also does something irritating. Like maybe disable all heart cards. Or take away all of your discards. Or maybe limits you to playing only *ONE* hand so your hand had better be awesome.

And then you do it again.

The jokers don’t go in your hand, they, instead, buff your abilities or buff your score or buff your multipliers. I, personally, like the card that lets you play a straight with skips in them (so you can play 2, 4, 5, 7, 8 and it’s a straight). I *REALLY* like the card that smears suits together so you’ve got either hearts/diamonds or clubs/spades (use this as a combo and play straight flushes a lot more often!). And there are a *TON* of jokers.

The planet booster packs give you levels for your various hands. Level up the flush and you can go from 35 X 4 to 50 X 6. And then 65 X 8.

Which will help because, as you go up levels, you’re going to need to score more and more and more points. From hundreds to thousands to tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands to, yes, millions.

And each hand takes about a minute to play. So play another one. So play another one. So play another one. And holy cow it’s bedtime.

You will regularly find yourself in recognizable poker situation. You’re four-to-a-flush and you discard and beg the card deities for a spade… And, since you have multiple discards, you can discard again AND HOW DID I DISCARD THREE TIMES AND NOT GET A SINGLE FREAKIN’ SPADE.

And then you can play again.

The planet cards are straightforward and help any given scoring hand, from High Card to Straight Flush. But there are also Tarot cards. These can mess with your deck. The Magician can turn two cards in your hand into Lucky Cards. The Hierophant can make them Bonus Cards. The Hanged Man can destroy two cards. There are cards that turn your cards into a different suit (if you have a joker that gives bonuses to Diamonds, it’s nice to turn some of the silly Clubs into Diamonds… or vice-versa).

And Spectral Cards? These are high risk/high reward. Create a rare joker (if you have room) and lose all of your money. Destroy a random card in your hand but get some enhanced Aces. Or some enhanced numbered cards. Create a copy of a random Joker in your hand but destroy the others (sell! sell! until you have the one you want copied!).

And, if you’re lucky, you’ll get set up with something that will let you get those million points.

I haven’t gotten a million yet. I’m off by about an order of magnitude.

But I’ll try again.

If I fail? Well, no biggie. Each hand takes only a minute.

This game is *DANGEROUS*.

So… what are you playing?