More seriously, this is why I made the anchor spouse. Traditional polygamous marriages have involved an anchor husband whom a bunch of women were married to. A more equitable solution would allow a woman to have a bunch of husbands to. Your version of interlocking webs of matrimony might be possible but governments aren't going to like it because of the complexity of the situations as I pointed out.
Middle Eastern societies, the Ancient Jews and Persians, were also the first ones that outlawed infanticide though. The mongamous Greeks and Romans allowed it.
China doesn't allow polygamy but are facing a similar situation. Thanks to their ill-conceived Family Planning policy and traditional culture favoring sons over daughters, China has an excess of men over women. This means that a sufficient number of Chinese men aren't going to have the chance to date let alone marry. The fact that Chinese dating culture tends toward the materialistic doesn't help. The result isn't pretty, especially for women. Its not uncommon for women to be kidnapped and sold to bachelors as brides.
China doesn't allow polygamy but are facing a similar situation. Thanks to their ill-conceived Family Planning policy and traditional culture favoring sons over daughters, China has an excess of men over women. This means that a sufficient number of Chinese men aren't going to have the chance to date let alone marry. The fact that Chinese dating culture tends toward the materialistic doesn't help. The result isn't pretty, especially for women. Its not uncommon for women to be kidnapped and sold to bachelors as brides.
I work helping immigrants. A lot of immigrants to the United States from polygamous cultures try to get around the issue of polygamy being illegal in the Untied States this way. The law does not look favorably on these arrangements, at least for immigration purposes, even if there is no bigamy in question.
Like Jason pointed out bellow, nearly every society that allowed polygamy was really a patriarchal one where men were allowed to have multiple wives. Since the number of men and women tend to be equal, unless humans create an artifical scarcity of one gender, nearly every polygamous society tends to have a large percentage of men that never marry. This really isn't a good idea. One theory behind the emergence of monogamy was that monogamous societies were more stable since it didn't leave a large number of men bachelors.
I think plural marriage has a problem that same-sex marriage did not. Mainly, its going to be hard to nearly impossible to come up with legal regime for plural marriage that is both equitable and isn't a legal cluster fu*k. Most of the problems come from the end of marriage. Lets say that Woman A is married to Men A, B, and C. She become pregnant with Man A's kid. As the kid turns school age, Woman A and Man A take a traditional turn and want to raise their kid in a monogamous family situation. So she divorces Men B and C. Are Men B and C going to be liable for child support? Can they demand visitation rights? What if it was Man A with Women A, B, and C. The battle over estates in plural marriages is going to be immense to.
There are going to be problems with the formation of plural marriage. Lets say that Man A is married to Women A, B, and C. Women B wants to also marry Man B. Should this be allowed or will plural marriages require a type of anchor spouse, either a man or woman, that everybody has to be married to like the traditional polygamist marriage practiced in patriarchal societies except a bit more equitable? Should there be a limit to how many spouses you can have at a given time?
I'm also more than a little skeptical about the ability of most people to manage a polyamorous relationship on an emotional level.
This is pretty spot on. If you can touch a woman in away that is somewhat sexual or at least romantically affectionate but at the same time doesn't make her feel awkward or worse than you can create chemistry. A lot of men fear touching women, so you come across as confident. The problem is that a lot of men engage in the wrong sort of touching or don't stop when told to.
That would have struck me as super-gross. When I was in my twenties, I could at least appreciate the looks of older women. When I was thirteen or fourteen, it was unspeakable.
I'm actually pretty sure that slightly to very immature forty year olds "mentoring" twenty year olds in the ways of romance and love is a really bad idea, it might be worse than PUA in some ways. It doesn't even work in the movies and in the movies the characters have the power of script on their side. ;.
More seriously, its not a good idea for several reasons. For one thing, not everybody wants to be mentored. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, the idea of an older woman mentoring me a la the Graduate would have creeped me out. I wanted to date young women my own age. I'm sure I can't be alone with this. You have some power dynamic issues. Finally, like you noted, a forty something who is constantly dating twenty somethings rather than seeking a steady relationship with anybody is probably not the best tutor for romance or dating. They might be okay on the physical side of the relationship but thats about it.
I'd say this fairly accurate. It certainly matches some of my more shameful fantasies. The desire for a hot woman is mainly a status-thing. A hot girlfriend/wife/one-night stand generally is a way to pull rank over other men just like how some men compete over cars. The other half is that most people like physical beauty.
I'd say this fairly accurate. It certainly matches some of my more shameful fantasies. The desire for a hot woman is mainly a status-thing. A hot girlfriend/wife/one-night stand generally is a way to pull rank over other men just like how some men compete over cars. The other half is that most people like physical beauty.
Not really. Men's magazines, ponorgraphic or not, assume that the audience is really succesful with the ladies and sleeps with a different beautiful woman every night or something. Now this isn't the case but they cater to their readership's perception of themselves. Publications aimed at nerdier men just avoid romantic advise in general and are technically gender-neutral anyway.
Stories in men's magazines tend to be more boasting than anything else. A lot of romantic advise aimed at men that isn't PUA shit is something of a case of the clueless leading the clueless.
I think that a lot of women's magazines have all sorts of dating advise. Most of it is not so good and more than a little sexist but it exists. If you compare it with media aimed at men, the assumption is that men know this stuff already.
Its weird. Women receive all sorts of advise on how to date. A lot of that advise is bad but the market for dating services for women exists. Men are apparently supposed to know intuitively how to date. This is causing a lot of frustration.
*Comment archive for non-registered commenters assembled by email address as provided.
On “Next Up: Polygamy”
The polyamorous movement seems like an attempt to combine polygamy and feminism. Its kind of too small to extrapolate anything useful from though.
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More seriously, this is why I made the anchor spouse. Traditional polygamous marriages have involved an anchor husband whom a bunch of women were married to. A more equitable solution would allow a woman to have a bunch of husbands to. Your version of interlocking webs of matrimony might be possible but governments aren't going to like it because of the complexity of the situations as I pointed out.
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You have nothing to loose but your pads.
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Doesn't quite work. It should be "A spectuer is haunting Europe -the specter of Rev. Moon marrying everybody."
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Middle Eastern societies, the Ancient Jews and Persians, were also the first ones that outlawed infanticide though. The mongamous Greeks and Romans allowed it.
"
I'm pretty sure that Marx would have been confounded if the revolution turned out to be a giant wedding ceremony.
"
China doesn't allow polygamy but are facing a similar situation. Thanks to their ill-conceived Family Planning policy and traditional culture favoring sons over daughters, China has an excess of men over women. This means that a sufficient number of Chinese men aren't going to have the chance to date let alone marry. The fact that Chinese dating culture tends toward the materialistic doesn't help. The result isn't pretty, especially for women. Its not uncommon for women to be kidnapped and sold to bachelors as brides.
"
China doesn't allow polygamy but are facing a similar situation. Thanks to their ill-conceived Family Planning policy and traditional culture favoring sons over daughters, China has an excess of men over women. This means that a sufficient number of Chinese men aren't going to have the chance to date let alone marry. The fact that Chinese dating culture tends toward the materialistic doesn't help. The result isn't pretty, especially for women. Its not uncommon for women to be kidnapped and sold to bachelors as brides.
"
I work helping immigrants. A lot of immigrants to the United States from polygamous cultures try to get around the issue of polygamy being illegal in the Untied States this way. The law does not look favorably on these arrangements, at least for immigration purposes, even if there is no bigamy in question.
"
Like Jason pointed out bellow, nearly every society that allowed polygamy was really a patriarchal one where men were allowed to have multiple wives. Since the number of men and women tend to be equal, unless humans create an artifical scarcity of one gender, nearly every polygamous society tends to have a large percentage of men that never marry. This really isn't a good idea. One theory behind the emergence of monogamy was that monogamous societies were more stable since it didn't leave a large number of men bachelors.
"
I think plural marriage has a problem that same-sex marriage did not. Mainly, its going to be hard to nearly impossible to come up with legal regime for plural marriage that is both equitable and isn't a legal cluster fu*k. Most of the problems come from the end of marriage. Lets say that Woman A is married to Men A, B, and C. She become pregnant with Man A's kid. As the kid turns school age, Woman A and Man A take a traditional turn and want to raise their kid in a monogamous family situation. So she divorces Men B and C. Are Men B and C going to be liable for child support? Can they demand visitation rights? What if it was Man A with Women A, B, and C. The battle over estates in plural marriages is going to be immense to.
There are going to be problems with the formation of plural marriage. Lets say that Man A is married to Women A, B, and C. Women B wants to also marry Man B. Should this be allowed or will plural marriages require a type of anchor spouse, either a man or woman, that everybody has to be married to like the traditional polygamist marriage practiced in patriarchal societies except a bit more equitable? Should there be a limit to how many spouses you can have at a given time?
I'm also more than a little skeptical about the ability of most people to manage a polyamorous relationship on an emotional level.
On “The Pick-Up Apologist: Kickstarter, Reddit, The Awl, and The Real Problem With Seduction Culture”
This is pretty spot on. If you can touch a woman in away that is somewhat sexual or at least romantically affectionate but at the same time doesn't make her feel awkward or worse than you can create chemistry. A lot of men fear touching women, so you come across as confident. The problem is that a lot of men engage in the wrong sort of touching or don't stop when told to.
"
That would have struck me as super-gross. When I was in my twenties, I could at least appreciate the looks of older women. When I was thirteen or fourteen, it was unspeakable.
"
I'm actually pretty sure that slightly to very immature forty year olds "mentoring" twenty year olds in the ways of romance and love is a really bad idea, it might be worse than PUA in some ways. It doesn't even work in the movies and in the movies the characters have the power of script on their side. ;.
More seriously, its not a good idea for several reasons. For one thing, not everybody wants to be mentored. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, the idea of an older woman mentoring me a la the Graduate would have creeped me out. I wanted to date young women my own age. I'm sure I can't be alone with this. You have some power dynamic issues. Finally, like you noted, a forty something who is constantly dating twenty somethings rather than seeking a steady relationship with anybody is probably not the best tutor for romance or dating. They might be okay on the physical side of the relationship but thats about it.
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Its not a particularly ideologically correct fantasy.
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I saw Gosling's character in Crazy, Stupid, Love as a noble but failed attempt to portray a Ladies' Man in a movie.
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I'd say this fairly accurate. It certainly matches some of my more shameful fantasies. The desire for a hot woman is mainly a status-thing. A hot girlfriend/wife/one-night stand generally is a way to pull rank over other men just like how some men compete over cars. The other half is that most people like physical beauty.
"
I'd say this fairly accurate. It certainly matches some of my more shameful fantasies. The desire for a hot woman is mainly a status-thing. A hot girlfriend/wife/one-night stand generally is a way to pull rank over other men just like how some men compete over cars. The other half is that most people like physical beauty.
"
Not really. Men's magazines, ponorgraphic or not, assume that the audience is really succesful with the ladies and sleeps with a different beautiful woman every night or something. Now this isn't the case but they cater to their readership's perception of themselves. Publications aimed at nerdier men just avoid romantic advise in general and are technically gender-neutral anyway.
Stories in men's magazines tend to be more boasting than anything else. A lot of romantic advise aimed at men that isn't PUA shit is something of a case of the clueless leading the clueless.
"
That was only a few years ago.
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That was only a few years ago.
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Wasn't this in the Onion?
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I think that a lot of women's magazines have all sorts of dating advise. Most of it is not so good and more than a little sexist but it exists. If you compare it with media aimed at men, the assumption is that men know this stuff already.
"
Somebody has to work this line into a movie.
"
Its weird. Women receive all sorts of advise on how to date. A lot of that advise is bad but the market for dating services for women exists. Men are apparently supposed to know intuitively how to date. This is causing a lot of frustration.
*Comment archive for non-registered commenters assembled by email address as provided.