Probably be listening to Born Down by johnny strong and sipping some rum.

Apply some walnut stain to a sacred totem. I don't know what's in the minwax stain that makes it smell good, maybe linseed oil, but thats good stuff.

The round death ray in the sky has baked the moisture out of the ground for a solid month and trees are looking a bit thirsty, prolly give them a drink.

Good lord in wool trousers, that's cruel and unusual torture.

I went to several fairs north of where fillyjonk is and even for a son of the badlands i remember it being sweltering, fry an egg on the pavement.