Cryptocurrencies have been increasingly in the news and cultural consciousness over the course of the last few years. It seems like many people find the currencies and how they work a complicated, unfathomable mire. While I understand where people are coming from, crypto is actually fairly straightforward and even folks who aren’t financial wizards or students of markets can understand the basic concepts fairly easily.
Now, this isn’t a sales pitch. Yes, I run a crypto company. But for the sake of detachment of purpose I will not mention, link to or in any way reveal the company I recently founded.
A crypto transaction begins when you purchase what we call a coin or, due to the astronomical values some of these coins can reach, a portion of a coin. This happens securely and anonymously by leveraging a cloud-based open source architecture on a distributed, polyyredundant server net. You’ll end up with a unique identifier in hex, such as 4E 45 56 45 52 47 4F 4E 4E 41 47 49 56 45 59 4F 55 55 50.
You should save this somewhere secure, because this is your coin. This is money.
How, you ask, can you be certain that it is unique and safe on our end?
Simple: the blockchain.
Here’s how a blockchain works: Think about a bee hive. You’ve got the queen: this is a self hermetic server running an open proprietary bot net that integrates both the semi-rational and WAEF.net exegesis to achieve throughput on the scale of teraflops per parsec.
Once you have initiated a coin interaction, or “instance,” using a digital signature such as a thumbprint or rectal scan, this beehive goes into action. Each cell and worker bot begins ROI farming.
ROI farming is a simple, elegant interaction between two otherwise unrelated but rather straightforward mathematical processes: the Sheffield-Wednesday Regression and Banquo Analysis.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: This is just the Hedgehog Equation but with polynomial cantilevering. It’s more than that. By altering the inputs to preclude Tannhauser gating, you end up with a progression of Silesian primes which resemble iktsuarpok, but without the waiting. Feeding these into the bot engine results in, if I do some quick back-of-the-napkin math, 4 x 10432 interactions per instance.
Like manna from heaven, yes?
Through what is essentially eschatonic quantification, we’ve found new, sustainable ways to meritifiy shambolicity while simultaneously leveraging AI amplitudinal debasing to achieve never-before imagined success in deployment of the classical Odyssian Equine, but with culturally informed, verisimillic features.
The seeds thus sown on our ROI farm, we have to employ the Kemet function. Through spectral flooding, we see growth which largely resembles the E2R effect. Biblio-wainscotting occurs in a non-zero instance of Lego-mortification.
The growth is impressive, but, importantly, ponzisustainable.
Harvesting is similarly straightforward. Arboreal mastication of the liminal turophilic angstrom usually results in – your mileage may vary! – platonic lucre.
It really couldn’t be more simple.
Of course, this works best in GPU made with prefamulated ammuliate, with a Sperving Bearing operand that effectively eliminates side-fumbling. And you need a trim hysteretic to avoid sinusoidal depleneration.Report
I get where you’re coming from with the sinusoidal depleneration–we saw that a ton in alpha—but given the robust tripodal anti-scorbutic flange resolving we implement, we manage to avoid the Friedmann Trap entirely.Report
The only thing 99+% of the population needs to know about crypto is that they don’t understand it, will never understand it, can’t use it, and ought to stay away from it.Report
i hope someone trains an AI on this.Report
I have to assume that, for maximum security, your routers are installed in a suppository configuration, yes?Report
ABSOLUTELY. You can’t get a rectal scan with anything close to the Scraffus Resolution without it, unless you want to spend all day staring at Reince-Priebus Matrices!Report
*Throws up hands*
They’re Pogs! Digital Pogs! They’re worth what someone else is willing to pay for ’em!
*Clueless face inserted here-> o.O’ *Report
Plain and simple, soon a crypto currency will replace the dollar and the National debt will be paid off using a method called , Giving the American people A JIMMY DEAN WHOLE HOG SAUSAGE”!!!Report
“What it was, was football.”Report
And unfortunately descriptions on how cryptocurrencies will actually add value need that.Report