The Eleventh Annual Mindless Diversions Unsolicited Shopping Guide

(Featured Image is Ebenezer Scrooge’s gravestone by Howard Lake. Used under a Creative Commons license.)

Holy cow! Once again, it’s that time of year! Again!

When I compare last year’s Thanksgiving (didn’t happen) to this year’s Thanksgiving (perhaps one of the best ones since I was a little kid), I look at the upcoming Christmas with a mixture of excitement and dread. I mean, I know that this Christmas is going to be miles better than last Christmas, but I don’t want to set expectations *TOO* high because, you know, that’s a good way to get disappointed. But it’ll be nice going over to the fam’s and doing Christmasy things like making spaghetti and watching a movie or two.

Last year it felt like it was impossible to buy gifts for friends because everybody in my circle had been on lockdown for months and months and had stopped spending money on anything but groceries and they were in charge of getting their own entertainments delivered from Amazon for months and months and so, come Christmastime, they didn’t want anything that could be purchased. “More time. I want to see my friends again.”

And we did what we could by driving to their house and standing on their driveway and yelling to them as they stood in the garage.

Well, this year is going to be different. We’re going to sit in their living rooms and watch everybody open presents and we’re going to share a meal and oh my gosh I’m setting expectations too high again. But, seriously, this year looks better than last year by a darn sight.

Of course, you shouldn’t give just another whatever as a present to someone who has a shelf full of them. It’s better to give them a card saying “hey, I donated to a charity in your name” than another knick-knack that they’re going to have to dust.

So, some charities that we like are The Innocence Project, World Central Kitchen, and Project Mercy. I’ve heard good things about Direct Relief (I haven’t donated to them but they seem transparent as heck and they’re rated really high by the folks who rate charities).

And after you’ve given to charity and you realize that, hey, you still want to give your friends and family something nice but, jeez, you don’t have any ideas? Well, it’s good that you’re reading this post. We’ve got a handful.

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Mike Schilling recommends The Baseball 100 for the ball fan in your life. Longer than Moby Dick and tells the story of the evolution of the game in his list of the 100 best players. (I can’t believe that he put DiMaggio at #56.)

Vikram Bath sings the praises of this iPhone 12 pro wallet case. Stop sitting on your wallet. Carry everything you need with your phone. (How did we sit on our wallets for 100 years?)

Our Mad Rocket Scientist tells us that this doggie pool was a good investment for the doggo. It says it’s for large small dogs but I’m pretty sure that small large dogs can enjoy it too. And kids might enjoy it as well!

Merrie Soltis recommends a Braves World Series Champions T Shirt but if you’d rather get a Colorado Avalache Joe Sakic jersey, you can get one of those instead.

These next ones a little pricey but they’re Lego. So you need to have a big table, time, and probably a transistor radio. Michael Seigel said that the Harry Potter Lego castle was the best gift he got and points out that they’ve got a Lego Titanic (currently sold out but, jeez, just look at the thing). I’m dropping my jaw at the Colosseum. If you’re hoping for something *REALLY* nostalgic, you can build a Lego Typewriter. Seriously, that webpage is nuts.

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Our very own Trumwill has a host of recommendations. His words follow:

If you’re looking for a low-end smartwatch, the TicWatch Pro gets the job done for under $100. It has a neat feature that allows you to use an unlit display that keeps the battery going for weeks that is very useful when the battery runs out. The battery will last the day, It has Google’s Wear OS, which has a fair app catalog. Meanwhile, if you’re looking for the latest thing, the TicWatch Pro 3 came out last year and has almost everything you would want (including plans to upgrade to the newest Wear OS). It’s available for between $200-300.

I got a Eufy Robovac for my birthday and it’s been great. It’s a very low end product without some of the bells and whistles like room mapping and mopping, but for under $180 it’s a fantastic deal. It’s especially good for kind of feeling out if a robot vacuum is something you’d actually use or not.

The Elite Gourmey Toaster Oven is huge, providing a ton of real estate for just about anything you’d like to toast. It also has a rotisserie rack and a bunch of other features, all for under $200.

This bounce house is smaller than it might looks, which both means that it’s for younger kids but that it can fit in more places. Setup time takes less than fifteen minutes. We originally got it for a birthday party but plan on using more frequently and may even get a water-slide one for next summer. It’s not cheap, but it’s also something no kid is likely to expect if you really want to surprise them.

If you’re looking for something to store the cables and you’re not as worried about aesthetics, these do the jobs and do actually lock. They’re bigger than the wooden ones. All three sizes are useful in various capacities, though once again the smallest is the least useful and is most reserved for things like the end of extension chords. In addition to power supplies, they’re also useful for tucking away cords in the back of the TV and things like that.

This Android TV device is a good alternative to the Roku, Amazon Fire TV, and similar devices. Because it runs Android, you have fewer problems when like when Google and Roku get into a row over the availability of the app. You can also sideload Android apps on it even if they aren’t made for the TV (For example, I have apps that limit my daughter’s time (though for some of the ones not made for the TV, you may want to get an air remote app – see below). This option is better for the technologically adept (for your grampa, get a Roku) as some of the more basic apps – like Hulu – can require a little extra work on install. It also has Chromecast built in. As the device-makers and content providers keep having these disagreements that affect availability, it’s a good idea to have more than one kind of device that you can switch between for maximum app availability.

The MX3 Air Mouse is great for when you have a device attached to your TV and you need mice-like capabilities, or a tiny keyboard. I, for instance, use it with the computer attached to my TV as well as my Android TV devices. They don’t work as well with the Android Fire TV unless you find one that mentions it specifically, however.

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For me, I still think that the absolute best gift you can give yourself in these trying times is a good showerhead. We spent last year thinking that we needed to take decontamination showers the second we got home from the grocery store or stopping in at work. Lemme tell ya, this showerhead turned that from an irritating necessity to a small bit of luxury.

And after you take a luxury shower, why not dry off with a luxury towel? Last year I mentioned these 35″ by 70″ towels. This year? I’m going to tell you about these 40″ by 90″ towels. You will feel like a million bucks, drying yourself off with an endless towel. (Buy two: one by itself will unbalance the washing machine.)

You probably are all stocked up on pajama pants after this last year, but I know that those really good slippers you got last year are beginning to wear out. Replace them and feel good about it. Hey, you never intended to wear slippers this much. Make sure that they’re comfy.

The Comfort Colors t-shirt is the most comfortable t-shirt I’ve ever worn. In the past, I was always a button-down guy. Over this last year? I’ve become a Comfort Colors guy. Hey, they’ve got a pocket t version as well! Oh, jeez. They make a zip sweatshirt now. These guys make the most comfortable clothes. They just feel good.

When it comes to the nephew for whom you bought the first Diary of a Wimpy Kid 16 years ago, well, you should know that the new one is out. Big Shot. Pierre the Maze Detective is a delightful maze book for the kids in the elementary set. Begin by tracing your finger through the maze, finish up by playing games similar to the ones in Where’s Waldo? Fun for the whole family. For the older kids, they’ll enjoy P is for Pterodactyl. Have fun playing with words and sounds (A is for aisle, B is for bdellium, and so on.) Don’t get it for the little ones. It might mess them up.

When it comes to movies, The Suicide Squad is the obligatory superhero flick (warning: rated R) and No Time to Die wraps up Daniel Craig’s run with the character. Venom: Let there be Carnage is the confusing sequel to Venom but, hey. It’s what it says on the tin, right? If you want something you won’t mind being in the room during, there’s Raya and the Last Dragon.

And if you’re just hoping for a reaction from whomever opens the gift, there’s Stephen Kang’s Sharks of the Corn. Your two favorite genres are finally both in one movie.

When it comes to gaming, I find it very frustrating that you still can’t get a Playstation 5 without paying scalper prices. But it looks like Walmart has the new XBox for MSRP. Mix it with the XBox Game Pass and you’ve got yourself *HUNDREDS* of games right out of the box. It’s not just moldy oldies either. The Outer Worlds was a day one game on the pass. The Outer Worlds 2 will also be a day one game on the pass.

When it comes to tabletop games, D&D is still the king. Get the Player’s Handbook and the Dungeon Master’s Guide and some sets of dice and you’re golden. If you’re less interested in rolling dice and more interested in collaborative storytelling, get yourself the Fate System and some fudge dice and you’re good to go.

If you want a recommendation for a computer game based on a board game that, believe it or not, is better as a computer game, then get Gloomhaven. The board game itself is more than a hundred bucks. The Steam version of Gloomhaven? $35 without it being on sale. Replay maps without feeling guilty about making your friends replay the map. Setup time is seconds rather than a quarter hour (same for teardown). Normally, when I play a computer game translation of a board game, I wish I was playing the real game with friends at a table. This one? Oh, I’m so glad they made a computer version. If you’ve got a hardcore board game fan in your life, get them a Steam gift card and tell them to pick this one up.

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And I will repeat what I said last year:

Of course, the reason for the holidays has little (if anything) to do with giving (or getting) presents but it’s always nice to give a loved one a gift that says “hey, I was thinking about you.”

And with that in mind… hey. I’ve been thinking about you. From us and ours to you and yours, Happy Holidays, Season’s Greetings, Non-Denominational Generic Good Wishes, Happy Hanukkah, Good Festivus, Joyous Kwanzaa, and, of course, Merry Christmas.

I hope that you found something above that you’d want to give to a loved one. In addition to all of the above, I still recommend everything we recommended in Unsolicited Shopping Guides of the past and we want you (yes, you!) to put your recommendations in comments. The gifts that you’d most want to give your loved ones and the gifts that you’d most want to receive? We want to hear about them because you never know who is currently pulling their hair out looking for the perfect gift that you (yes, you!) already know all about.

We want to hear from you!