Why Rolling Stone’s List of Greatest Songs Ever Doesn’t Suck

Dave Van de Walle

Dave Van de Walle is a content consultant in suburban Chicago who spends way too much time on Twitter at @area224

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31 Responses

  1. Jaybird says:

    I was shocked to find songs that didn’t suck on these lists!

    “Take on Me” should have been somebody’s #7 or #8.

    A good rule of thumb is “if your list of best songs doesn’t inspire someone to say ‘yeah, I wanna listen to that right now!’, it’s not a very good list of best songs”.

    I’m listening to a barbershop cover of “God Only Knows” right now…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLc3CFxhN_EReport

  2. Greg In Ak says:

    Why limit or stretch a conversation starter list like this to 10. We’re talking like how many decades here.

    Must haves:
    Tunnel of Love- Dire Straits Captures the epic sweeping classic rock vibe through gorgeous playing and mood changes. The song owns from the first organ note until Knopflers sweet licks. Better than Layla as this kind of thing.

    Tonight is what it means to be young – Ellen Aim and ,well, the meatloaf writer. Really got to include the movie video also for this to stand. All the over the top melodrama of a Loaf song but tight and exploding with energy. Not a wasted note.

    South Central Rain- REM Just beautiful.

    Los Angeles – X Perfect west coast punk and maybe perfect punk. The male/female vocal combo rules.

    Prog rock;
    21st Century Schizoid Man and In the Court of the Crimson King Nothing better captures the fantasy epic with out of this world playing by all members.

    Don’t Pay the Ferryman- Chris DeBurgh Something has got to represent goofball pop songs. Catchy and kinetic and wise traveling advice.

    Reap the Wild Wind- Ultravox Sleek and sexy and synthetic but human and personal.

    More than This- Roxy Music Sleek and sexiest song ever. I’ll admit i have a ton of personal feelings about this song that makes it extra to me and it stars in one of my best memories from running a marathon so i’m biased. But this is gorgeous. Best song ever.Report

  3. Pinky says:

    Dave, I think I like your list best, although I would probably have wanted to share a dorm room with John Simley.

    My guess is everyone could come up with a list of 150 songs that they’d consider for their Top 10, based on their mood. So I wanted to come up with a defendable list that didn’t include any artists or songs on the above lists. Here’s what I’ve got:

    Alison (My Aim Is True) – Elvis Costello
    Love Shack – B52’s
    Train in Vain – The Clash
    True – Spandau Ballet
    Feelin’ Alright – Joe Cocker
    Stay – Lisa Loeb
    Slide – Goo Goo Dolls
    Smooth – Santana / Rob Thomas
    Money – Pink Floyd
    Running Down a Dream – Tom Petty

    The last two are the only ones I’d expect to see on people’s Top 20 or so, but I think any of them could be justified. And I can think of half a dozen bands I’m kicking myself for not including (seriously, no Clapton or Jefferson Airplane / Starship?).

    Looking mine over, I see a lot of short, melodic numbers. I’m not sure that’s what I like the most, but they’re the ones that I think of as perfect. Something 3-4 minutes long from a Joe Walsh or a Warren Zevon, tell me, where are you going to find any fat on them?Report

    • Yours is a good list, Pinky.

      Note that John Simley and I had a discussion recently about “perfect” songs. Songs where there is no fat to cut.

      Zevon’s “Werewolves of London” is one that I would expect to see as an HM on lots of lists.Report

  4. Gershwin hot take:

    Rhapsody in Blue is great, but it isn’t a song.

    Summertime is even greater, and it is a song.Report

  5. Kid Charlemagne says:

    This is interesting and I would like to add my kinda/sure I’m forgetting some top 10:

    People Get Ready – The Impressions
    Love and Affection – Joan Armatrading
    Concrete Jungle – Bob Marley
    Wuthering Heights – Kate Bush
    And It Stoned Me – Van Morrison
    Just Don’t Want to be Lonely – Ronnie Dyson
    Holocene – Bon Iver
    Many Rivers to Cross – Jimmy Cliff
    A Song for You – Leon Russell
    Helpless- Neil Young

    I imagine my age is important in picking a top ten. Most of these are from the days when I actively followed music and charts etc…Don’t really do that much anymore. Fun exercise!Report

  6. Michael Cain says:

    A) Damned, am I old. Large numbers of songs suggested that I wouldn’t be able to pass a simple match quiz with titles in one column and the melodies in another.

    B) It would be nice if there were restrictions, ie, it doesn’t count if most people who know it could only hum the tune, but were at a loss for what words come next even if they’re listening to a recording with the lyrics.

    C) If you haven’t listed at least one Elton John/Bernie Taupin song, you simply aren’t paying attention to pop/rock history.

    D) Songs I would suggest for consideration.

    California Dreaming
    Long Long Time
    LA Woman (the ultimate push it past the speed limit song)
    Goodnight, Saigon (mentioned, but age again)
    Any of Tiny Dancer, Leavon, or Madman Across the Water
    Over the RainbowReport

    • Brandon Berg in reply to Michael Cain says:

      I’m pretty sure I’m significantly younger than average here, and I didn’t recognize most of the songs in the OP.Report

    • Pinky in reply to Michael Cain says:

      Some strong choices here. I was considering “California Dreaming” for my list. And if I’d thought of them, “LA Woman” or “Break On Through to the Other Side” could probably have been on mine.

      ETA: Best breaking the speed limit album, 4 Way Street.Report

  7. Kazzy says:

    Not a single rap song?Report

  8. Jaybird says:

    I don’t have a top ten, just songs that would make slots in the one-hundred thirties or one-hundred sixties. The big problem with these lists is that you always feel like you should put Gimme Shelter on there. Yeah, yeah. Everybody agrees that Gimme Shelter is the best rock song ever. But, like, that doesn’t help because you can’t always be in the mood to listen to Gimme Shelter again. Or Comfortably Numb. Yeah, it’s a great song with a clinic on “how to do a guitar solo”. But, jeez. Those songs have been heard so many times that you don’t really listen to them with your head anymore, you just remember when you listened to them.

    The meaty songs are the ones toward the bottom of the list.

    Blue by the Jayhawks. If it’s possible to be both melancholy and over-the-top, this song pulls it off. “Where have all my friends gone? They’ve all disappeared.”

    Spaceship by Angie Aparo has the magnificent lyric “There was a big parade. Everybody got laid. And they burned all the books and the Chevrolets.” That sounds like a pretty good day. (The problem with the song is that the first half is *AMAZING* and the second half just sort of peters out.)

    Phantom of the American Mother by Catherine Wheel is the “hold a gun to my head and only pick *ONE* Catherine Wheel” song to go on the list (instead of, like, a dozen).

    Stomp by George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic isn’t even their best song but, if I were trying to get someone to listen to their best songs, I’d socialize them to George Clinton with this song. The insanity of the bassist. The tempo and key changes. I don’t even dance and I want to dance to this song.

    Superstar by The Carpenters. Hell. Yes.

    Grace is Gone by Dave Matthews is one of those really depressing songs until you listen to the lyrics and *HOLY CRAP* it’s even *MORE* depressing than a surface listen would give you. He slips from head voice to chest voice so effortlessly and beautifully.

    I’m Gonna Burn One Down by Ben Harper is, apparently, a song about casual drug use. It’s good, though. The song, I mean. Not casual drug use.

    Keep a Lid on Things by Crash Test Dummies. Everybody talks about the song with all of the Ms, but that’s not even close to their best song. That’s not even the best song on that side of the album. Keep a Lid on Things is a playful song with a fun “you did, baby… you did” part to sing along to.

    No More I Love Yous by The Lover Speaks was covered beautifully by Annie Lennox and while I guess I knew that her album Medusa was an album of cover songs, I never went out of my way to find the original of this one because I thought that she must have done a better job with it. And, holy cow, her version is amazing but, like, so is the original. She didn’t improve it… just put her own spin on it. The original is amazing too! Nobody was more surprised than I was.

    Putting the Damage On by Tori Amos is probably the culmination of her talents. Boys for Pele wasn’t her best album but if I had to pick a song that is her best song, I’d pick this one.

    See? None of those are in a Top Ten. But I’d probably prefer to listen to any/all of them instead of Gimme Shelter despite Gimme Shelter being the best rock song of all time.Report

  9. InMD says:

    I struggle mightily with things like this. On the one hand I could make a list of 80s/early 90s alt rock and 70s classic rock that some people would nod along with. But as important to me as, say, an album like Monster by REM is, I’d by lying about myself. The truth is I think popular rap/hip hop is devoid of artistic merit, and a triumph of style over substance. Combine that with the fact that at some point in the late 90s things on par with Facelift era Alice in Chains or Badmotorfinger era Soundgarden became too heavy for regular radio and I realize that I have been checked out of the conversation for 20 years. The only list I could make would have me sounding like some combination of snob, weirdo, and asshole, and so I must opt out.Report

  10. Jaybird says:

    I’m pretty sure that all of us might be able to put together a list of “Top Rock Songs Of All Time (As Ranked By K-Rock ‘Where Rock Lives’)”.

    Put Stairway on there. Put Won’t Get Fooled Again on there (or Baba O’Reilly). Put Bohemian Rhapsody on there. Hotel California! Sweet Emotion!

    Ugh. Needs more Elton John.

    But if you wanted to do a “no, really… what are the best songs?” list, you’re stuck with “here’s the song about Sarah. Here’s the song about Jennifer. Here’s the song about Lisa. I can’t listen to this song anymore but it’s about Wally who died when I was a Junior in high school. Idiot.”

    And… yeah. Those are good songs.Report

  11. Slade the Leveller says:

    Anonymous Bob hits the nail on the head on Blackbird. Every guy who ever picked up a guitar can relate. Plus, Bleu! My God, I can’t believe someone else has heard of him.

    I think InMD’s point is valid. A fair chunk of these lists tend to be the listmaker’s favorites, or at least the one’s that come to mind when the list is made. My top forty music knowledge peters out, for the most part, in the ’90s.

    So, in that spirit, I will leave you with my list of one: the greatest rock and roll song ever recorded, Hey Jude. Written by a man for his best friend (purportedly) at a time of great vulnerability for both, it conveys a warmth and encouragement that is palpable. It’s catchy as hell, too. Try not to sing along.Report

    • Pinky in reply to Slade the Leveller says:

      I’m willing to take the cries of “shut up, old man” on this topic. Autotuned vocals don’t sound right. Too much compression reduces the tone of instruments. Samples, loops, and time correction strip out whatever natural sound might be left (assuming there were instruments used in the first place). Even if you write and perform great material it’ll sound terrible. I say this as someone who loved punk and new wave music. I don’t need to hear great skill, and I don’t mind repetition or synthesizers. I like some dumb, repetitive stuff. But there is such a tight lid on what sounds are permissible that artistic performance barely stands a chance.Report

      • Slade the Leveller in reply to Pinky says:

        Totally with you here. However, I have to believe that some good music is being produced. It’s just making it onto the radio.Report

        • InMD in reply to Slade the Leveller says:

          Beyond that I think we’ve passed the point where music is a shared cultural experience. There are too many ways around the gatekeepers now.Report

          • Jaybird in reply to InMD says:

            That “Blinding Lights” song deserves to be on a handful of lists, I’d wager.

            But, yeah, there’s a huge gulf between that and now and a huger one between that and before that.Report

          • Pinky in reply to InMD says:

            I’m no expert on this, but I think you’re right about ways around the gatekeepers. Unfortunately, the people who do that often have really limited production capabilities, and fall back on the same synthetic sound. I think the best work is found on the local music scenes, with bands who maybe have a viral video if they’re lucky.Report

  12. Brandon Berg says:

    I’ll do top ten Japanese songs, since that’s my comparative advantage. In no particular order.

    Shinji Tanimura has written a lot of great songs, and I’m tempted to go with Subaru (the constellation, not the car), but I think Ultramarine wins out. It’s about an old man mourning his son who died at sea. There’s no explicit mention in the lyric to the war, but it was the theme song to Imperial Navy.

    Mayumi Itsuwa’s largely regarded as a one-hit wonder these days, which is a shame, because there’s so much more to her work than O My Love, but if you’re only going to be known for one song, this is a great one to be known for. Fun fact: Her first album, A Girl was recorded in Los Angeles, and Carole King was involved in some capacity. The title track from that album is also fantastic. The lyric is about a girl who just sits and watches while her life passes by.

    Miyuki Nakajima is sui generis. Stylistically she’s all over the place, but a Miyuki Nakajima song is instantly recognizable as such because it’s nothing like anything else. Not (usually) in a weird, experimental way. It’s all polished and accessible, but it’s like a glimpse into another world where popular music went in a slightly different and much better direction. Her main producer, Ichizo Seo, probably deserves a lot of the credit, but she did write almost all of her own songs. I’m tempted to just fill this list with Miyuki Nakajima songs, but if I had to pick one, I’d go with the album version of Between the Sky and You, a song about a dog’s love for his mistress. Like 95% of her music, it’s not on YouTube, but the definitely 100% legitimate Chinese site I linked to has a 248-song playlist.

    Momoe Yamaguchi was the greatest star of the idol era in the late 70s and early 80s. Then she did the most Japanese thing possible and retired after getting married at the age of 21. I’m not a huge fan in general, but Cosmos, written by Masashi Sada, is exquisite. Here, “cosmos” is a type of flower, not outer space. However, her next album was a space-themed album called “Cosmos (Outer Space).”

    I don’t have anything interesting to say about Akina Nakamori, but her cover of Tokiko Kato’s shipwreck makes the list. Kato’s own version is also worth a listen. It’s not as beautifully produced, but it has a much more raw feel that better captures the sentiment of the lyric, in which love gone wrong is likened to a shipwreck.

    Now for the rock fans: Yutaka Ozaki. It’s hard to pick his best song, but I think Eternal Heart is a solid contender.

    Cape Erimo has an interesting history. It was originally a folk song by Takuro Yoshida. Then Shin’ichi Mori, a famous enka singer, decided that he was going to record it. Apparently his agent was skeptical, but it was a huge hit. Cape Erimo is a peninsula in a rural area in Hokkaido. There’s not a whole lot going on in the lyric. It’s just about people sitting around drinking coffee and forgetting their troubles.

    Hibari Misora was kind of like a Japanese Vera Lynn. But also kind of like Judy Garland, because she drank herself into an early grave. I’m not a huge fan, but her last two singles Love, in Splendor and Like the Flow of a River were both fantastic. I can’t pick, and they’ve always felt kind of like a set to me, so they’re sharing a spot.

    I never really appreciated Yosui Inoue until I went back and listened to his albums from the 70s, which are really, really solid classic folk-rock. But my favorite song of his is A Couple Who Can’t Go Home, which is utterly magical. Why can’t they go home? It’s not really made clear in the lyric; I guess maybe they just don’t want to say good bye. It describes a scene of two lovers standing transfixed as the night turns to day.

    Rounding it out with a Yumi Matsutoya song, Jet Trail. This song about a dying child whose soul is transmuted into a jet trail was the title track of her debut album in 1973, and experienced a resurgence in popularity forty years later when it was used as the theme song for the Ghibli film The Wind Rises.

    Not including it in my top 10, but just for Kazzy: I believe that I’m Goin’ to Tokyo is the first Japanese rap song. I don’t care much for rap, but this one is great. It’s about a guy from the countryside complaining about the lack of amenities in his hometown and declaring that he’s going to move to Tokyo, save up money, and buy a cow.

    I don’t know enough about Chinese music to make a top ten list, but I’m fairly confident that Vincent Liang’s Parting in Error, performed by Michelle Pan (both from Taiwan, but the language is Mandarin), would make the cut.Report

  13. AltaKocher says:

    I’ma gonna show my age, I guess. Best Song: “Shortenin’ Bread”
    (Apparently the songwriter for the Beach Boys was in love with the song, and kept on making covers of it, holding singalongs, etc.)

    Now, maybe you can’t say many songs from pre-1900 are good, but that one is!Report