Abomination: The Desolation of the KFC Biscuit

Andrew Donaldson

Born and raised in West Virginia, Andrew has since lived and traveled around the world several times over. Though frequently writing about politics out of a sense of duty and love of country, most of the time he would prefer discussions on history, culture, occasionally nerding on aviation, and his amateur foodie tendencies. He can usually be found misspelling/misusing words on Twitter @four4thefire and his writing website Yonder and Home. Andrew is the host of Heard Tell podcast.

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18 Responses

  1. George Turner says:

    Where did you get a bad biscuit from? Could the franchisee have substituted a the wrong flour for Martha White, White Lily, or Southern Biscuit? Are they mixing the fat too much so the biscuit doesn’t rise in flakes? Are they overworking the dough so it becomes too tough?Report

    • I have not gotten a decent biscuit from KFC, and we have multiple locations here, in years.Report

      • George Turner in reply to Andrew Donaldson says:

        So the biscuit problem is probably not due to that one teenager or ex-con making the biscuits.

        Is it the same owner for all of them? Most of the KFC’s in southeastern Kentucky were owned at one time by Roy Shoffner, who more famously dug a P-38 Lightning out of a Greenland glacier. It’s entirely possible that a swath of West Virginia’s franchises have the same owner. Eighteen KFC’s around the KY, WV, OH tri-state area are owned by Doug and Barry Knipp, but I have no knowledge of the quality of their biscuits, which are supposed to be light, flaky, and buttery.

        Your local KFC’s owner or owners would likely belong to the Great Lakes KFC Franchisee Association, which is meeting Oct 7 through the 10th in the Hyatt Regency in Savannah Georgia. You could possibly have your concerns addressed there, perhaps by enlisting the help of Michael Moore to confront what sounds like a travesty of proper biscuit making.Report

      • Slade the Leveller in reply to Andrew Donaldson says:

        I’ll second that. They’re just a salty mess.Report

  2. Jaybird says:

    There’s probably something similar to pizza going on here.

    You have to have really messed up to get biscuits that aren’t awesome fresh out of the oven.

    Okay biscuits will last an hour or two (they’ll survive the ride home).

    Good biscuits can handle being eaten hours later.

    Great biscuits can be refrigerated overnight and reheated and still be pretty dang good.

    You know who has surprisingly good biscuits? Carl’s Jr.Report

  3. Doctor Jay says:

    I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, and I want to represent for their biscuits. I had a lot of biscuits growing up. I associate them with sourdoughs (the people, not the bread) and Alaska. This is no knock on Southern biscuits, which I’ve had and love.

    My dad and mom both were fantastic at making homemade biscuits. They died a little bit too young to really pass the art along to me, though. But I remember them fondly as a thing we would have for dinner, not just breakfast.

    I haven’t had KFC in maybe 20 years, so I will not weigh in on their biscuits.Report

  4. North says:

    I’ve never had southern biscuits but I’d be quite curious to try them. Biscuits and gravy just seems like madness though.Report

  5. Silver Wolf says:

    I am from Canada (eastern Ontario) and I do not recall ever seeing a KFC offering a biscuit. When there has been a meal with some sort of bready side, it was always just a slice of buttered bread.Report

  6. Mr.Joe says:

    Most KFC sides are hot garbage. The corn on the cob was good, before they cut it. The gravy is passable for the purpose. It’s over salted, but that is probably to cover up how disgusting the potatoes are. I would rather eat the tin the green beans came in than the beans themselves.Report

    • aaron david in reply to Mr.Joe says:

      KFC’s coleslaw is the standard which all is judged against! Nothing else compares to it, nor should any other sides be included in the offerings.Report

      • Mr.Joe in reply to aaron david says:

        I agree.KFC’s coleslaw is a great baseline for coleslaw. It is boring and unobjectionable, but by no means bad. It is strong in the characteristics you expect from coleslaw…. crunchy, cooling, and made with mostly cabbage.

        When I get a hankerin’ for those 7(8) herbs and spices, the coleslaw is my only acceptable side.Report

  7. James says:

    Do you remember when they used to serve a nice Square piece of white bread with your chicken meal that was the day man this biscuit garbage they’re serving now is not worth eating I understand that they get them in Frozen and just heat them up but they are absolutely awful I was a truck driver and I’ve been in all 48 states and I’ve never eaten a biscuit from a KFC that was worth feeding to a pigeonReport