Pineapple Pizza is an abomination in the Eyes of The Lord.

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21 Responses

  1. Avatar DW Dalrymple
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    In Hell, pineapple pizza or bowl of cold peas with a fork…everyday. At least Satan gives you a choice right????Report

  2. Avatar Jaybird
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    I thought this was about pineapple.

    Then I realized it was about the Joker movie.Report

  3. Avatar Murali
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    Look, pineapple is actually good on pizza. Do you know what doesn’t go on pizza? Sweetcorn. Yet every vegetarian pizza in the UK comes with it.Report

    • Avatar dragonfrog in reply to Murali
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      Corn is fine on pizza IMO. I like it best with some meat though – chicken or tuna are good accompaniments.

      Pineapple is also just fine on pizza. Not my favourite (if I’m ordering, most places have combinations I’ll get instead) but far from my least favourite (if there are several options at a buffet and one is ham pineapple, I’ll take a slice of that and not bother with some others)

      Unless we’re talking about the really thin crust pizza that gets like 90 seconds in a wood heated oven. Somehow pineapple seems all wrong for one of those.Report

      • Avatar Slade the Leveller in reply to dragonfrog
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        I’m going to have to go all Ron Swanson on you all. There are but two meats that belong on pizza: pepperoni or Italian sausage.

        GTFO with this ham/chicken/tuna B.S.

        And, in response to the OP. Warm pineapple is just as good, if not better, than cold pineapple.Report

        • Avatar dragonfrog in reply to Slade the Leveller
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          Isn’t pizza al tonno e cipolla a fairly traditional Italian combo?

          But really even if I’m mistaken I’m ok with being a pizza heretic – there’s a place we go to sometimes that has a duck confit, fig, and goat cheese pizza that is too die for. Also one with barbecue bison and I forget what all else.Report

      • Avatar Murali in reply to dragonfrog
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        Maybe its a cultural thing. I don’t mind corn on the cob or corn fritters. But something rubs me wrong about having it on pizza. It doesn’t necessarily ruin the pizza, but it seems like a pointless topping. And makes a pizza moderately worse. A decent pizza becomes barely edible. A barely edible pizza becomes inedible with sweetcorn added. i.e. sweetcorn is not so horrible as to ruin a pizza, but makes it one grade lower.Report

      • Avatar Murali in reply to dragonfrog
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        I’m not sure I’ve had really thin crust pizza. And if I had, it was probably not with pineapple.Report

  4. Avatar Aaron David
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    I love pineapple on pizza. Ham is gross, as that is no way to eat pork (seriously, sugar-cured is just nasty. Salt cured or GTFO.) So, you have to have it with pepperoni.

    But you know what is even better? Jalapeno and anchovies. Now thats amore!Report

  5. fillyjonk fillyjonk
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    I’ll just note that there were no tomatoes in the Promised Land either, since at the time Joshua et al. were active, tomatoes were only known to Andean farmers.

    I’ve also read that the first “pizza” (actually flatbread with oil and herbs and *MAYBE* cheese) was mentioned in Virgil’s Aeneid, so if you take the “publication date” of that work (ca. 19 BC) as “first pizza date,” pizza would not have existed in immediately post-Mosaic times.

    Hair-splitting, maybe, I don’t know.Report

  6. Avatar gabriel conroy
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    First, a quibble (and I *think* I’m right): The ham butt, despite its name, comes from the front of the pig and not from the a**.

    Second, amen to your post. It was more of a defense of pineapple against pizza (and ham, etc.) rather than (as I interpreted the title) a defense of pizza from pineapple. (I’m more interested in defending food from pineapple than vice versa, but I do like pineapple by itself.) But still, amen! I grew up in the same culture of, “let’s take a perfectly good food and add pineapple to it,” I know what it’s like.

    Another reason to hate pineapple on pizza: even if you take the pineapple off, the pizza still tastes like pineapple. Most other toppings (speaking for myself), you can take off without too much of a legacy taste.Report

  7. Avatar George Turner
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    I’ll just note that the US and Japan call it a pineapple (Pineappuru), while most other languages call it “ananas”. Whether Polish, Russian, German, Basque, Hindi, Dutch, Nepali, French, or almost any language outside SE Asia, that one word has you covered for all your crazy pizza needs.

    ETA: Spanish is an exception to the rule.Report

  8. Avatar J_A
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    ETA: Spanish is an exception to the rule

    Both piña and ananás are correct in Spanish. It’s a regional distinction, like pop and soda.

    On a more serious matter, pineapple in pizza is gross. So gross.Report

  9. Avatar DensityDuck
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    PIG

    ASS

    I mean, they sell “smoked butt” right there in the damn store, it makes sense!Report

  10. Derek Edwards Derek Edwards
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    At one point in time, out of curiosity or a need to confront fears, I’m not sure which, I tried something called chocolate cheese. It was the result of a local cheesemaker trying to use up scraps of cheddar. I was expecting one of two things: either it would be, as the novelty-averse bloc of my mind was screaming at the time, completely foul-tasting, or, as had been the case with using balsamic vinegar as an ice cream topping, it would be something uniquely good that I could enjoy in defiance of culinary convention and all good reason. Instead, what I got just seemed like someone had made fudge wrong. It wasn’t bad; it would have been good if it had been slightly softer and slightly sweeter, but it wasn’t, so it wasn’t good either.

    That’s kind of where I come down on pineapple pizza, too. It’s not repulsively gross, but it’s just not as good as pizza without pineapple. I think it’s the water content more than the taste, really. Regardless of its flavor, pineapple’s too wet to work as a pizza topping.

    Now, cherries are something I could see working. I know they work on burgers.Report

  11. Avatar JoeSal
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    says:

    Good post!
    I kinda live by the old adage that any pizza is good pizza. Picked that up in ’82 when I had to stare down a can of Hominy for three days.

    I still eat hominy, but it has a bitter taste of defeat each time. I guess that would be my topping of least preference.

    Again, good work.Report

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