Onward To Sobriety

Marium Parium

An Egyptian from Texas, living the CPA life, ex-liberal arts major, still writing bad poetry.

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17 Responses

  1. Mark says:

    I am a drinker. Do what is right for you. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone.Report

  2. Jaybird says:

    Good luck, Marium.Report

  3. George Turner says:

    Well, you could point out that President Donald Trump doesn’t drink at all, and is nothing but win, whereas Betty Ford is only famous because they named a celebrity sobriety clinic named after her.

    Or take Jon Snow, destined to sit on the Iron Throne through sheer goodness, strength of heart, and having the right dad. But then he starts drinking, getting totally smashed right after the defeat of the white walkers, and everything fell apart. He became an impotent, incompetent bystander to history, watching his future drifted away in the ashes. Then he was banished to the Wall with the full agreement his own family, and now Kit Harrington is sitting in an alcohol rehab clinic in Connecticut while the whole world nurses a really bad hangover.

    I had to give up coffee because I became allergic to it, and only then did I realize how much revolves around the evil black beverage. Howard Schultz, the founder of Starbucks, thinks he can win the Presidency because he serves up overpriced bean juice, whereas Sam Adams, one of the most important Founding Fathers, didn’t even bother running.Report

    • Samuel Adams had a long and distinguished career in electoral politics, including election as the 4th Governor of MassachusettsReport

    • Mark in reply to George Turner says:

      Betty Ford was one of the first prominent women who was open about her breast cancer. Previously, this cancer like other cancers was kept hidden from the public; for instance, Grover Cleveland hid his illness. Her openness was instrumental in removing shame and stigma from this disease. She deserves to be remembered for that.Report

      • George Turner in reply to Mark says:

        I did not know that. I only remembered her for drinking.

        Anyway, when I had to give up coffee, I noticed how it’s pushed at people far more than beer or wine. Part of the reason for that, of course, is the vast customer base and high profit margin, and the rewards for companies that sell the whole coffee centric lifestyle.

        I had to become a tea totaler to maintain my caffeine levels, but that term makes people think I don’t drink alcohol. My housemate is a coffee-drinking tea totaler (who got bored with beer sometime after college) which makes things even more confusing.Report

        • Brandon Berg in reply to George Turner says:

          Huh. I don’t like coffee or alcohol, and I’ve definitely been bugged more about the latter.

          “Tea totaler” is a folk etymology; it’s actually spelled “teetotaler,” and while the etymology is disputed, it appears that none of the most likely candidate etymologies have anything to do with “tea.”Report

  4. Pinky says:

    Situations where it’s no fun to be sober are generally situations that are so awful that no one would be having fun unless they’re drinking. Music you don’t like, people being obnoxious, and – typically – nothing else. A sports event, or a concert, or an outdoor activity can be fun without alcohol. Sitting around drinking and watching a game can be fun without drinking. Sitting around drinking and doing nothing for hours can’t be fun without drinking. Hanging out with people you hardly know and don’t have much in common with, while they’re drinking themselves down to teenager-level stupidity, that’s like hanging out with teenagers. It’s terrible.Report

  5. dragonfrog says:

    I sometimes find my drinking getting our ahead of me too. Some things I done help:

    Caesars (if you’re in the US, bloody Mary’s are practically the same) – leave out the vodka and they taste just as satisfying and like an ‘adult’ drink. If you’re mixing your own, no one would know you’re not drinking. At the bar, you can talk to your bartender or waiter off to the side and ask them to read in ‘virgin’ to whatever you order.

    Kava kava – it’s an herbal tea type that produces a pleasant relaxation. I did it helps a lot as a social lubricant, but lets you interact on a sober / non-messy level. I can be a less anxious, still sober me. It’s not impairing / intoxicating the way alcohol is, and doesn’t have anything like a hangover.Report

  6. Ditto to what Mark said above. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. And good for you for taking care of yourself.Report

  7. You’re doing the good hard work. What you’re experiencing is part of the process, the adjustment from the one to the other. It’s easy to know that in the clinical sense; it’s a different thing to lean into it, to embace it for yourself. It can be a hard thing sometimes.

    Just know that you’re not alone. If there’s anything I can do – as a faraway stranger on the internet – please let me know. You’re doing awesome, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.Report

  8. Rufus F. says:

    I quit drinking seven months ago for somewhat different reasons- I liked drinking all the time basically. My partner does feel guilty about drinking around me, but it doesn’t bother me. I’ve found the trick with social situations at bars is to walk up to the bar first thing and order a ginger ale on ice. Most people assume it’s a mixed drink and the bartenders don’t mind. Some bars won’t even charge you because you’re one less drunk to deal with.

    Good luck!Report

    • dragonfrog in reply to Rufus F. says:

      Around here, a lot of bars offer free nonalcoholic drinks for someone who’s a designated driver in a group.Report

      • Aaron David in reply to dragonfrog says:

        I know that was the case in Sacramento when I was on the bar scene there. It shows everyone that the bar takes its responsibilities seriously while giving a cheap freebie. Win-win.Report

  9. Aaron David says:

    Good luck Marium.Report

  10. I love this, thanks so much for sharing.Report