For a Brief Moment On SNL, All Was Well in the World
Sometimes, if you let them, people can still surprise you.
If you missed it, last weekend on Saturday Night Live cast member Pete Davidson made a joke that was not thought out and very poor in taste, mocking Dan Crenshaw’s eye patch. (bit in question at :55)
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukbtA3df8BI&w=560&h=315]
Crenshaw, who on Tuesday was elected to congress in TX-3, lost his right eye to an IED in Afghanistan during his 3rd combat tour as a Navy Seal. The outrage by some was immediate and swift. Crenshaw, for his part, did the rounds of media and struck what was considered by many the perfect tone of condemning the remarks without condemning Davidson personally, and quickly spinning the incident to the need to respect and be aware of veterans in general.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SirRezPNV8&w=560&h=315]
Meanwhile, behind the scenes here at OT, I wrote up a piece on the whole thing, and concluded it with this:
So I’ll pass on getting overly worked up over a comedian who made a classless, unfunny joke. I wish he would have extended the class he showed towards his celebrity ex-girlfriend to Dan Crenshaw. But I agree with the congressional aspirant in this regard; I don’t want Davidson to apologize either. He could take the suggestion Crenshaw made on CNN of fundraising for veterans causes and organizations, but I have a better idea.
Davidson should go spend time with actual veterans. There are plenty of VA facilities that would welcome him. If he did, he would find a lot of kindred spirits not in experiences, but those that suffer with similar issues of drug abuse, mental health, physical ailments, and loss of loved ones. He would find something else too; the dark humor Pete Davidson uses is fairly common amongst vets who, like Pete, use it to deal with and feel empowered with situations outside their control. They just don’t do it publicly and for the laughter of outsiders. In a private setting and after gaining trust, they’ll eat it up and laugh along with him. Maybe then, instead of an apology that was out of duress, Davidson could instead talk openly about what he learned from the experience. Maybe he could actually continue his own healing process from the experience. Context, with humor as it is with everything else, is everything.
Since my own weird way of writing and real life meant I didn’t finish it until late Monday, and the following day was the election, I didn’t put it here thinking the story had pretty much run its course, and the following morning’s election would drown out all other topics for several days. So off to Medium it went, to be lovingly read by – as of 3am EST on 11 Nov in the year of our Lord 2018 – 26 people. So it seemed like everything worked out. Sure enough, the election, Trump’s off the rails press conference the following day, and Jeff Sessions’ firing dominated both the news and our little corner of the internet at Ordinary Times.
But, thankfully, I was wrong about that being the end of the story. And for once, an outrage cycle story gets a happy, appropriate ending.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKaakjMVtyE&w=560&h=315]
If this situation could have been handled any better by all parties involved, I don’t know how. Humor is hard enough to do well; to do it live with people that are involved in a real life story, and still hit the right notes to convey seriousness of message, is even harder. When I wrote the piece a week ago now, I declared I would pass on the outrage because Davidson’s comment struck me as more ignorance than malice, and was consistent with his comedy in general. Crenshaw being a veteran, I assure you he’s been called much worse by far better people. He could have taken a cue from other political leaders of our day and age and turned this into a flame throwing media war. He was legitimately wronged here. Instead, he took the path that a leader does and in the end made not only himself look good but gave Davidson an out, and probably earned both men some fans they previously didn’t have. At least Davidson did in me, as the guy shows me something in taking his lumps and admitting he was wrong not in a PR statement, but in person beside the man he mocked. His humor still isn’t really my preferred style, but I feel pretty good in considering his background and not jumping on the dog pile over this event. I hope there will be more of this type of resolution going forward when the outrage crusades form up over whatever the next issue will be. I doubt it, but I hope so.
And for at least one segment, SNL did something really good, pretty funny, and real world meaningful. The outrage folks are quelled, even if only temporarily. Let’s all take, and enjoy, the win.
The original offense in this story just doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. The skit is, I guess, the most unhealthy-looking guy in the world making fun of other people’s looks. I’m not expecting commentaries on Cicero. He makes fun of a guy for wearing an eye-patch, not for his disability or his military service, and does so in a way that makes himself look like the loser. So what? Am I supposed to be angry about it?Report
I think it has to do with moving from baseline.
You ruffle someone’s feathers, an apology can move the feathers back to normal. You ruffle someone’s feathers whose feathers have already been ruffled? You might pluck a feather. At that point you’re doing harm.
In both cases ruffling is taking place… but ruffling the ruffled leads to plucking.
Smoothed feathers make (inevitable) ruffling less of a problem.Report
That was awesome, Andrew. Thanks for sharing it, made my Veterans Day weekend.Report
It’s nice writing about good news for a change, isn’t it.Report
I have a physical issue, one that had lead to me wearing an eyepatch for a time. My wife always worried that some people would make fun of this, not to my face but behind my back. My thought was good! If they need to do that to make themselves comfortable around someone else then there is no harm, and indeed much good to be had from that humor. I refuse to be a captive or captor from a disability.Report
One thing in these discussion is I always take a viewpoint from having somewhat the opposite problem. I have limitations, but just looking at me unlike amputees or eye patches a stranger would have no idea. I could always pull my shirt up and let them see the network of scars, and unless it’s someone I’ve known for a long time they don’t know how much smaller, lighter (I finally plateaued on weight loss and have settled at around -70lbs from two years ago), and weaker I am these days. So where as growing up my uncle who had lost a leg in Vietnam would chase the kids with his prosthetic over his head as humor, and my fellow vets in peer support groups have an almost in joke of who can stand to sit the longest before detaching and scratching, there are others who aren’t so apparent. I let the humor, even badly executed, roll.Report
Heh, I have a friend whose dad lost an eye in Vietnam. He would do pretty much the same thing, popping it out.Report
You haven’t talked much about your injuries but that sounds pretty intense. Glad your weight has stabilized and hope you’re on the road to recovery.Report
Can’t complain and does no good to do so. There is always someone worse off, and I feel thankful to be where I am.Report
The proper line there was, “I don’t mind people making fun of my eyepatch to my face, as long as they’re on my left, so I can’t see them.”Report
apropos since Crenshaw’s primary opponent got in hot water for only showing him from the left side in ads and thus hiding the patch in advertising.Report
So many things make me frustrated and worried and anxious.
This one thing gave me hope that there’s a way past the things that make me anxious.
It took grace on both sides. And grace is what we see in that clip. I’ll never forget it.Report
Grace is the perfect word.Report
That was lovely. My grandpop, one of the most gracious men I knew, would have approved.
(He didn’t teach me to say Never Forget, I think because in Canada “je me souviens” is the Quebec provincial motto and has to do with the Battle of Abraham and the Ancient Francophone Lineage, so it kind of takes up the space that never forget would, at least for us easterners … but the sentiment is very much the same.)Report
I don’t speak French (other than brosse-toi les dents, which I though was romantic sounding till she informed mean it meant go brush your teeth, which was a bit of a let down) but I like it and that works too.Report
Er, no, I meant because “I remember” (je me souviens) is so close to “Never Forget” it crowds out the space that would let Anglo eastern Canadians say something like that about anything else.
So not only do we not say never forget (which I will now), we don’t say je me souviens either. Mainly we put on our poppies, open our ears, find an extra bit of common courtesy for people in uniform without saying so, and keep our mouths shut on the topic.
We’re not unlike northern New Englanders in that, I think?Report
I agree with the other commenters. Fantastic piece. Articles like this that make us understand our humanity should be a greater part of what the news does.Report
Thank you Christopher. I agree, and think I will make a conscious effort to write more of these when situations come up.Report
Crenshaw was generous and gracious to give Davidson this chance to make things right; he’s also naturally funny. This could not have worked out better.Report
agree, everyone came off the better for it here.Report