While I was in Doha this last September, one night I had a dream about Lisa.
I’ve obliquely mentioned how she had an impact on my life a couple of times. The times I’ve talked about being in San Francisco, for example, were times when I was visiting her. (This story where I was brushing my teeth and heard an amazing song? It was in her bathroom.) When I was talking about being stuck in 1992 (like here and here)?
Even there, in that first “here”, I mention “While in Qatar, I had a dream about one of my friends from college and I’ve spent the last couple of weeks thinking about various things related to 1992.”
Well, that dream was about Lisa.
Lisa was someone that I had the hugest crush on in 1992 and we dated a little bit but she was on a journey of discovery where she was finding out that she wasn’t heterosexual after all. I was her friend during that and gave her all the support I could (while, you know, still trying to get her to date me as well… and, in recent years, I’ve come to realize that I wasn’t a very good friend (or boyfriend, for that matter) during that period). The dream got me to check Facebook and see if she was on it and she was… then I checked to see if she was active and it looked like she was… so I took a deep breath and I wrote her this:
Hey. Hello. Hi.
I suppose if I had to explain why I was writing this it’d be because I had a dream and you were in the dream and the only thing I did in the dream was ask you for your forgiveness. When I woke up, I felt really sad and I told Maribou about the dream I had and she talked to me about it and…
Well, I go on ramble for a bit. I talked about my life now. I talked about Maribou. I talked about 1992 and 1993. I apologized for not being a good friend or a good boyfriend. I told her that I hoped she was well.
A day later, she wrote me back and she seemed very happy and posted about her life now with her partner and she waved away the request for forgiveness and told me that if anybody should be asking for it, it should be her and she told me some stuff to give me more perspective about what she was going through in 1992 and 1993 and we chatted back and forth and she updated me about her family and I updated her about my family.
And a couple of days ago, Facebook reported that she was dead.
Contact your friends that you still think about all the time but haven’t talked to for a while.
So… what are you listening to?