Robert Fuller Poison PSA (1960s) – Classic TV Commercial

(knocks wood)
We’re going to be starting a new 5e game for D&D tonight and, for the first time, I will be playing a character who is not either Lawful Good or Chaotic Good. I will be playing an assassin who is Lawful Evil.

Now, the DM told me that he was hoping to avoid intra-party conflict and I assured him that I planned on being exceptionally fond of and loyal to all of my party-mates. I was just going to be an assassin who was fond of using poison and that that was, pretty much by definition, evil.

Then we got into a light digression of Poison Theory. His take was that poison was no longer necessarily “evil” and that assassins were no longer necessarily “evil” either and so while I probably couldn’t get away with being Lawful Good, I didn’t have to be *EVIL*. My take was along the lines found in The Book of Vile Darkness (highly recommended, by the way) and, as such, poison use was *ALWAYS* going to be evil. It’s, effectively, a single-target chemical/biological weapon.

I mean, we have Geneva Conventions that talk about this sort of thing.

Saying something like “okay, but what if I took mustard gas and put it in a form that only affected *ONE* goblin?” doesn’t reduce the moral price of doing chemical weapons. Heck, the fact that this much haggling is going on indicates that there are some serious shenanigans going on.

Now that I think about it, isn’t “poison cloud” or “cloud kill” a spell that “good” wizards should avoid using?

I digress. Anyway, my idea is to play a character that presents almost identically to Lawful Good, except for a heavy reliance on poison (and sneak attacks).

Heck, we’re fighting against bad entities, right? And I’m fighting on a team, right? And if I can kill the goblins fastest before they do damage to my teammates who are fighting for good, then I am helping the entire planet, right?

Am I not then *OBLIGED* to put some Purple Worm Poison on the tips of my crossbow bolts? I am protecting my fellow fighters, clerics, thieves, and mages. It seems silly to say that it’s okay to bop them on the head like some Little-Bunny-Foo-Foo but beyond the pale to use a crossbow at a distance that merely happens to quicken things.

Why, it could easily be argued that giving some owlbear a better chance to open the paladin from gizzard to gullet would itself be morally wrong.

Whose side are you on, here? Why in the world are you trying to avoid tipping the scale when it’s us against the owlbear?

And so on.

So I’m looking forward to that.

We’re also doing a thing where we’re starting with Level 5 characters instead of grinding our way up from Level 1. (I swear. I have approximately 100 level one characters in my past, approximately 20 level two characters, approximately 3 level 3 characters… and, tonight, I’ll be fighting with my *FIRST* level 5.)

So… what are you playing?

(Picture is HG Wells playing a war game from Illustrated London News (25 January 1913))

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Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to

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13 thoughts on “Saturday!

  1. I’m fiddling with Wastelands 2.

    Without going into what I understand of the history between Wastelands and Fallout, suffice to say it places like an turn and squad based tactics version of Fallout.


  2. War of the Chosen update: It’s awesome, I love it, this game is frakking hard even on Normal difficulty now. Much of my trouble, admittedly, stems from not understanding the importance of new elements in the strategy layer–but that’s good! The Chosen are irritating in a similar way that the Alien Rulers are irritating, but there is soooooo much juicy goodness in everything else that I’m willing to put up with them. I can definitely feel the shadow of Long War Studios in this DLC.


    • On release, I only managed to play X-Com 2 for a few hours before giving up in frustration. But War of the Chosen has added some advanced timing options (doubling the game length and the mission timers in particular) that are really helping me.

      I also like the flavour the new resistance factions have added to the game. Also the VA is basically a TNG reunion.


    • I’m only just now making this connection…War of the Chosen introduces the concept of “Soldier Bonds:” Two soldiers can develop a bond with each other which translates to abilities which can be used on the battlefield.

      So in essence, what WotC has done is create work spouses for XCOM.


  3. Yesterday I bought Rogue Squadron for Nintendo 64 from a guy on Facebook. It was my favorite game on that platform and my copy got lost in a move. He was happy it was going to a good home. Win-win. The 64 is still hooked up, next to the Xbox, so I plan to take the game for a quick spin this weekend. Should be fun.


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