The Fall of Daddy O Five

Will Truman

Will Truman is the Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. He is also on Twitter.

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73 Responses

  1. joke says:

    sounds like child abuse.Report

  2. Saul Degraw says:

    How can anyone find that funny?Report

  3. pillsy says:

    What absolute assholes.Report

  4. Kazzy says:

    Fuck these parents.Report

  5. Damon says:

    I had a coworker who was driving his kids around, and saw a dead rabbit on the side of the road. He told his kids “that was the easter bunny. no candy for you guys this year”. It was hilariously cold hearted and evil. I enjoyed it.

    Is this really any worse except putting the video up on the internets?Report

    • North in reply to Damon says:

      Yeah, it’s a lot worse.Report

      • LeeEsq in reply to North says:

        Damon’s co-worker counts as a thief of innocence. There are some adults who believe that the world is a cruel and harsh place filled with a-holes that will take you down, and they aren’t necessarily wrong about that, and believe that the best thing they can do for their kids to teach them to be the meanest, toughest, and baddest a-holes out there so they rule the roost. Its why we get people like Trump.Report

        • Damon in reply to LeeEsq says:

          Except Trump isn’t the “meanest, toughest, and baddest a-holes out there”

          He’s a frickin rich kid. I doubt very much he could hold his own with a bunch of new yawk blue collar types in a skuffle.Report

          • Kimmi in reply to Damon says:

            Yeah. Friends of mine know how to use grenades (and think having a grenade on you is a suitable defense for a real estate transaction [okay, not america, still]. Betcha big bully Trump ain’t never even touched a grenade, let alone blew the house to hell to get away from some nasty dudes).Report

        • North in reply to LeeEsq says:

          Theft of innocence is defensible though. What Daddy-O did was considerably worse.Report

          • LeeEsq in reply to North says:

            I’m a Jew, so my parents didn’t raise me to believe in things like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny but it seems to me that if you encourage such beliefs in your children and than while they are still young take an opportunity to dash those beliefs in hard and cruel manner, your doing something pretty indefensible. I do not see theft of innocence as defensible in most circumstances. What Daddy-O did was actively evil to and worse though.Report

            • Kimmi in reply to LeeEsq says:

              Then you haven’t seen what shits kids can be.
              They think they’re invulnerable, like they can do anything without consequence.
              Do you think that a parent should not tell their kid that their pet died?Report

            • North in reply to LeeEsq says:

              One your first observation different people will differ with different intensities but your final sentence is spot on.Report

              • LeeEsq in reply to North says:

                I am struggling to come up with a reason why the behavior of Damon’s friend was acceptable.Report

              • Pinky in reply to LeeEsq says:

                I gave up on that struggle pretty quickly. It was horrible. Someone else doing something at least as bad and putting it on youtube doesn’t change that.Report

              • LeeEsq in reply to Pinky says:

                Its actively cruel. If the kids asked their father if the Easter Bunny existed and he told them no and they reacted by bawling that would be just a parenting situation that might have been handled with a bit more care and tact. Turning a dead rabbit into a sadistic joke that is bound to get little kids upset is deeply immoral.Report

              • Kimmi in reply to LeeEsq says:

                you ever met someone who tried to knife you, out of the blue, for no damn reason?

                Yeah. Some people believe in teaching their kids how not to get hurt.

                Other people haven’t seen how bad folks can be, just yet.

                12 year old from Jersey bashing a pedophile’s face in with a brick, and he’s one of the lucky ones.

                Now, I don’t know Damon’s friend. Maybe he’s just an asshole. But not everything you see is because people are born mean.Report

              • LeeEsq in reply to Kimmi says:

                Kimmi, its possible to teach your children that the world can be a very tough place at times without being immoral or evil to them. Millions of parents around the world including parents who live in much more aggressive and violent places than suburban America manage to do it.

                The tactics outlined here not only teach kids that the world is a very tough place, it teaches kids that the only way to survive the world is to be the meanest and toughest a-hole out there and that there is no room for compassion, kindness, or justice. This is the ethic of the nihilist bully and we can very much do with out that.Report

              • Kimmi in reply to LeeEsq says:

                Fair enough. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, where possible.Report

  6. Kimmi says:

    Hm. A video where no one got killed, shot, or their eye removed from their face by force.
    Really, why are you guys bitching so badly?

    This prank didn’t even involve guns.Report

    • Toad in reply to Kimmi says:

      Because parents are supposed to protect and support their children, not make them the butts of cruel jokes.

      Because children learn how to treat others from watching their parents’ behavior, and the last thing this world needs is a few more a**holes.

      Because as a parent you can have a lapse of judgment and say or do things to your kids (or any other people) that seems funny but is actually mean-spirited. And the sane, kind approach when it backfires and your kids are upset would be to apologize to them. Not put it up on the internet so that the whole WORLD can see you get pranked.

      Damn it, it’s hard enough being a kid.Report

      • Kimmi in reply to Toad says:

        These kids didn’t know they were being pranked.
        Doesn’t that say something to you?

        Parents who are actually abusive don’t think up shit like this.Report

        • Toad in reply to Kimmi says:

          No, that doesn’t say anything to me.

          And, there are many kinds of abuse, Kimmi. If you think it requires a gun or an eye being poked out…SMDH.Report

          • Kimmi in reply to Toad says:

            Disembowling an eye was a TOTAL ACCIDENT (well, for the humans at any rate). Every single video (and there were multiple).
            “Today is Kitty Hat Day” (Kitties do not like being hats. do not put kitty on kids head, they may LOSE An EYE. Do not post said video on YOUTUBE, I will be angry. Every time the person who has the “worst job at google” gets sent to therapy, they put the fucking guy with a photographic memory on the job. He does NOT forget.)Report

      • Kimmi in reply to Toad says:

        This was one bad day.
        American Parents pay $50,000 to have someone murder their children and have it look like an accident.
        American Parents force their kids to be sex slaves, and then murder them when they grow up too much, so they don’t squeal.

        You don’t run a business where 14 year olds occasionally suffer disfiguring burns, and are now endangered by the narcostate (by the way, if you’re interested, you can help get the slaves out of mexico, AND have something concrete to show for it…)

        So, um, kindly save your outrage for where it matters.Report

        • Jaybird in reply to Kimmi says:

          Kimmi, please keep in mind that if no one has heard of the case that you’re referring to, it presents fairly closely to you making something up entirely.

          Which is, like, even worse than the whole issue of taking an extreme outlier and extrapolating it over an entire society thing.Report

          • Kimmi in reply to Jaybird says:

            I hold society responsible when they don’t present any outs (save life imprisonment) for people who no longer wish to deal with their children. [you may, if you like, say that This is The Best Case Scenario. Fine and dandy, if you can prove it. Still means we’re paying for a murder industry.]

            Would you like me to post links? I can if you like. Please specify your criteria for how many and about what.Report

            • Jaybird in reply to Kimmi says:

              It might help to post a link if you’re referring to an obscure case that most normies would never have heard of.

              Something like this:
              We’ve reached the point where even something as simple as eating a meal is a political act.

              This prevents people from saying “you’re just using hyperbole!”
              They can click on the link and then say something like “okay, that’s happening, but it’s happening in San Francisco! So it doesn’t count!” rather than “you’re just making stuff up entirely out of whole cloth! So it doesn’t count!”Report

              • Kimmi in reply to Jaybird says:

                Fiiine, but what case were you actually looking for? I’m definitely more than willing to post links to the glasswork that the child-slaves in Mexico are making — they need to get out of the country pretty soon, so selling more is a really good idea.Report

              • Jaybird in reply to Kimmi says:

                I know that I, personally, have never heard of the whole parents assassinating their children for fifty large thing.

                I suspect that it either didn’t happen as you described it *OR* that it happened once, once time, in some weird backward state like Delaware and the parents got convicted and are now in the state pen.

                Without providing context, it reads a lot like a story of people waking up in a hotel bathroom full of ice and missing a kidney.Report

              • Kimmi in reply to Jaybird says:

       [This is just me pulling a random news story, to show what something looks like, and how common such stuff is.]

                Parents are paying murderers to kill their children and make it look like an accident

                Did you miss the part where the murderers were finding it really easy to make it look like an accident?

                I am not going to provide links to the snuff porn they were making, if you really want to find that shit, find it your own goddamn self.

                If you want more “this isn’t getting investigated” assassinations, look at the Darwin Awards. Simply rife with them.

                Cops love to say case closed. Murder takes work, after all.Report

              • Jaybird in reply to Kimmi says:

                Kimmie, I’m going to need you to lean into the whole “theory of mind” thing.

                If someone is expressing skepticism about paid parental assassination of children, linking to a tragic story involving an accident where a child gets hit by a car is not going to get rid of their skepticism.

                It’s much more likely to get them to say “yeah, she doesn’t have evidence of what she’s talking about.”Report

              • Kimmi in reply to Jaybird says:

                Still not linking to snuff porn. I may not have many moral qualms about stuff, but I’m not doing that.


                Not precisely what I was talking about, but close enough. The difference is that people who are making an industry out of letting parents get away scot free can be targeted and eliminated.Report

              • Pinky in reply to Kimmi says:

                Would you at least entertain the possibility that there aren’t many American parents who pay people to kill their children, and thus it’s not a higher priority than general child abuse or contract killing?Report

              • LeeEsq in reply to Pinky says:

                Forget it, Pinky. Its Kimmi Town.Report

              • Pinky in reply to LeeEsq says:

                Only if we let it be.Report

              • LeeEsq in reply to Pinky says:

                We debate Kimmi a lot. It doesn’t work. She just continues with her performance art antics and nonsense. There are posters that write stuff I really disagree with but they argue in good faith, make attempts at logic and reason, and try to provide evidence. They don’t make up wildly outrageous stories and claim to know everybody and everything.Report

              • Kimmi in reply to LeeEsq says:

                I don’t claim to know everyone and everything. Really, I don’t.
                I don’t know a single person related to any of the movies I watched this weekend.

                I know one person who does movies and TV. If you worked in the industry, chances are you’d have run into him.

                I know someone who writes policy papers — do you have any idea how many predictions he’s coded evidence for?

                I keep my ears open, and I learn a lot of things.

                I also know someone whom the State Department would not give a passport. You may draw your own conclusions on that one.

                I know why there was a potsmoking Elmo on twitter, and day-um was it funny!Report

              • Pinky in reply to LeeEsq says:

                I’m no stranger to the situation. A little pushback every now and then is good for the soul. It looks like Jaybird was the first one do to so on this thread, but others have joined in. If nothing else, it allows all of us to acknowledge the parameters that we expect people to operate under. The internet isn’t known for cordial communication, so OT is doing something better than the average.Report

              • LeeEsq in reply to Pinky says:

                I believe I was the one who first pointed to Kimmi as to why people think she is evil on this thread.Report

              • Kimmi in reply to Pinky says:

                Prioritization is a funny thing, you realize? It’s not just “how bad is this” or “how frequently does it happen”. It’s also how much effort does it cost to fix it.

                The way I see it, “general child abuse” takes a lot of effort to fix (both because it is prevalent, and because the kids are trained to shut the hell up about it).

                Contract killing is generally “solving business disputes” — which, yes, if what you want is my vote to end the war on drugs, you’ve got it. If you want something more than that, then we need to talk, and talk hard about what we’re actually talking about (say, prostitution) — looking at the consequences for the still illegal deeds, as you aren’t going to let 4yearolds be fucked up the ass and have it be legal.

                How could we fix a society where the only way out for parents of the severely disabled (by which, to be clear, I’m talking nonverbal, non-pottytrained kids with anger issues) is to pay for their murder? Well, one, we raise the cost for the murderers (if murder is cheap, what’s another?). Or second, we reexamine our presumptions on “how much we require parents to care for children who will never be capable of making a moral decision in their life?”

                Prioritization is a funny thing, and this is something that can be nipped in the bud pretty easily. If, that is, you aren’t completely against vigilante justice. (Full disclosure: I do know people who have hired mercenaries on American soil).Report

              • Pinky in reply to Kimmi says:

                Are you advocating for state-sponsored killing of those children?Report

              • Kimmi in reply to Pinky says:

                As of now? No. Can we do adoption? Put the kids in an institution?
                (I’m really only on about the kids who will never be able to speak, be toilet trained, etc. There’s a “you can deal with a slow kid” threshold, I figure.)

                In 20 years, when we don’t have enough food to feed the Americans we have now? Well, then let’s talk. Because I’d rather someone who can create something, rather than someone completely useless (and this isn’t even touching “doesn’t understand morality so doesn’t understand rape”).Report

              • Pinky in reply to Kimmi says:

                You’ve indicated before that you don’t believe that they have human rights. And it sounds like their systematic killing is on the table for you. It makes me wonder why you care if parents are paying people to kill them. Is it the cost and inconvenience? Would you prefer if we had some kind of drive-up service?Report

              • DensityDuck in reply to Jaybird says:

                ” linking to a tragic story involving an accident where a child gets hit by a car is not going to get rid of their skepticism.”

                The point is that we’re supposed to understand that Kim does not make false claims, and therefore if you ask for proof and you’re given a story, that story is proof. If the story seems to have nothing to do with the claim that Kim is making, well, just refer back to Item #1 and think harder about how it could work.

                Like, what we’re supposed to be finding here is that this apparent accident wasn’t an accident at all. There’s no evidence anyone hired a hit man to run over their kid? Well of course not! They’re professionals who know how to do this.

                It’s like those theories about how Hitler escaped in a Type-30 U-boat that are based on “there were no reports of any U-boats departing their base that day, but normally there WOULD have been, therefore they did a SUPER-SECRET OPERATION that EVERYONE MISSED!!!”Report

              • Kimmi in reply to DensityDuck says:

                actually, what I’m saying is that there’s plenty of evidence, it’s just on snuff porn sites. You want it, you find it yourself.

                As to how you get from a single video to knowing where the deed is taking place… well, have you seen what 4chan did to CWC? One indoor photograph to find the guy.Report

              • DensityDuck in reply to Kimmi says:

                “what I’m saying is that there’s plenty of evidence”

                Of course there is. Everything is evidence when you look at it the right way, and when you have the right things in your past that you need to explain as being someone else’s fault.Report

              • Kimmi in reply to DensityDuck says:

                Recorded videotape of people murdering kids is something that needs to be “looked at the right way?”Report

              • LeeEsq in reply to DensityDuck says:

                Exactly. Its the classic conspiracy theorist thought pattern.Report

        • Toad in reply to Kimmi says:

          Flag on the play: Fallacy of Relative Privation.

          Duh, there’s tons worse. And the worse is what gets the outrage, sweetheart, this just earned pissed off.

          For the record, part of my job involves ensuring that my suppliers aren’t abusing human rights, so yeah, I’m doing things, already. Which I need to get back to, so I think I’ve exhausted my Kimmi-tolerance for the day.

          No, wait:

          My cat climbs on my head of his own volition. 😉 Of course, I have an overfull life, so social media will have to do without video of it.Report

          • Kimmi in reply to Toad says:

            I love the ad copy for the slaves. “No wasted water! Completely recycled soda bottles!”

            What’s your criteria for “abusing human rights”? (asking because I have had someone here say it’s okay to hire slaves if they’re given a chance to say no. Once.)Report

          • Pinky in reply to Toad says:

            Social media doing without a cat video? Crazy talk!Report

        • Francis in reply to Kimmi says:


          1. The quality of mercy is not strained. Virtually everyone here is capable of being outraged by more than one issue at a time.

          2. Personally, I don’t believe one single factual claim you make. In recent months you have alleged the existence of: PsTB who point guns at the head of incoming presidents, whole-language AIs that are capable of drafting contracts so perfectly ambiguous as to fool every lawyer who reads it, easy availability of murder-for-hire, and that a Clinton presidency would have a 1-in-3 chance of nuclear war. None of these stories have any evidentiary support.

          So, (a) you’re a fabulist, and are practicing your stories on us, (b) you’re a troll who on a regular basis wants to divert comment threads on other topics to yourself , or (c) one of the PsTB is so tired of your leaking that you have a gun pointed to your head and you are being required to post such arrant nonsense as to confuse all of us between what is real and what is fiction.Report

          • Kimmi in reply to Francis says:

            I prefer option D). I know John Titor.
            (Seriously. Do you really think I expect you to believe me? I’ve never stated something that isn’t truthful (although I occasionally do screw things up, or mishear things). But it’s far safer for you to not believe me.)Report

          • Kimmi in reply to Francis says:

            Mercy is not outrage. And I’ve seen mercy strained to the point of breaking, by people who have saved millions of lives.Report

        • Ryan Freire in reply to Kimmi says:

          Kimmi, you’re talking from a position of pretty clear ignorance as to the sheer volume of video evidence of these people being abusive shit parents. Watch that video i linked you, it contains a huge chunk of stuff they’ve since removed from their channel when the issue began coming to light. They dont deserve your defense.Report

      • Julie in reply to Toad says:

        Best response to this BS. You are right. And these “parents” DO NOT have the best interests of the children at heart. All children should have the RIGHT to feel safe and valued, which is NOT the case in this situation.Report

    • LeeEsq in reply to Kimmi says:

      Kimmi, do you ever wonder why people think your evil when you see yourself as good? Its because you defend the indefeasible.Report

      • Kimmi in reply to LeeEsq says:

        Who ever said I see myself as good?
        I will say that I know a slaver, and he’s a better man than me — and certainly better than you.
        Saved millions of lives, he has.Report

  7. Kimmi says:

    comment in mod.Report

    • Burt Likko in reply to Kimmi says:

      You’ll help your own cause if, in the future, you were to use other nomenclature to refer to people with developmental disabilities unless the particular phrase in question is relevant to the discussion and set off in quotation marks. For reference, we’re treating that phrase as substantially similar to a racial epithet.

      Bear in mind that you are also presently at the very top of the “getting cut some slack” list during those times that we editors are obliged to engage in the deeply unpleasant task of comment moderation.

      Thank you in advance for your thoughtfulness in response to this guidance.Report

      • Kimmi in reply to Burt Likko says:

        I did post an apology for using language, along with a request for guidance on exactly what language you were finding offensive (as I had multiple suspects).

        Not sure why it didn’t get through moderation.Report

  8. Joe Sal says:

    Geebus H.
    Is it dog pile Kimmi day or what.

    For what it’s worth Kim, I would rather listen to your mad hattery than the quasi-Frasier Crane-esq yammerings that so often hit the comments.

    Don’t get banned, it would really suck.Report

    • Burt Likko in reply to Joe Sal says:

      No one’s getting banned today.Report

    • Kimmi in reply to Joe Sal says:

      Nobody used to care when the Democrats were winning, I swear to fucking G-d.
      Then I’d make a comment like “Biden has one word to say in the debate — Malarkey”, and people would simply shrug and move on.

      Nevermind whether I know the comedian givin’ the advice or not. (I do, but I don’t expect folks’ll believe me. In fact, I rather hope they don’t. Believin’s dangerous.)Report

    • Stillwater in reply to Joe Sal says:

      I would rather listen to your mad hattery than…

      Which is further evidence of just how fucking insane our political culture has become.Report

  9. Julie says:

    Why the hell is the (at least) MISTREATMENT of children even remotely tied to politics???!?!! You people need to stop using every damn thing for your agenda.Report

    • Saul Degraw in reply to Julie says:


      If you want me to venture a guess, I would say that everything is political and tied to the culture war. This is the polite version of what Stillwater mentioned above.

      There is also the fact that different cultures and socio-economic groups exist and they all have wildly different norms about what is and is not acceptable in child rearing.

      So I can appreciate something like a Mapplethorpe photograph or some edgy experimental theatre and other art that generally gets labeled as degenerate but I become an uptight bourgeois when it comes to entertainment that revolves around trainwrecks and/or pranks from Jerry Springer to Judge Judy to Jackass and the prank called segments I hear when forced to listen to commercial radio. I don’t care whether these are planned or not or real or not. I just don’t get the people and find them vulgar but a lot of people like the stuff.

      There are a lot of interesting questions about what constitutes mistreatment of children. I majored in theatre in college and went to graduate school for it. Most of my twenties was spent trying for an artistic career with odd jobs and grad school before I decided on law school at 27. My parents were very supportive of my artistic attempts and endevours. I’ve met people who consider this if not quite mistreatment, at least a grave disservice because it does not prepare me for the new/modern economy. When I tell people I majored in theatre, the results are either “That’s so cool” or some variant of shock on doing something so indulgent and impractical and why did my parents let me do it.

      My girlfriend is from a country that went from third world in the post-WWII to economic powerhouse starting in the 1980s. The way the country did this is through an education system that says math and science, math and science, math and science, everything else does not matter. A lot of her friends have similar educations whether they were from foreign countries or first generation immigrants. I think their parents would see mine as doing something really wrong for letting me major in drama based on their history and circumstance.

      So Daddy Five O is at the extreme end of obviously wrong but there is a lot of stuff that doesn’t seem facially objectionable but ends up being so for socio-cultural reasons. Who is to decide what the line is between “That’s a cultural difference” and “universal wrong?”Report