The Limerick/Haiku Thread

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Jaybird

Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to AskJaybird-at-gmail.com

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48 Responses

  1. Avatar Jaybird says:

    Eating with one’s wife
    but not with other women
    makes a poor scandalReport

  2. Avatar North says:

    Haiku’s are easy
    but can be hard to make work
    RefrigeratorReport

  3. Avatar Saul Degraw says:

    There was once a man named Fantastic
    His dick was quite elastic
    It went here and there
    It went everywhere
    Until he buggered a spasticReport

  4. Avatar Michael Cain says:

    I once had a favorite web site,
    It offered political insights,
    But woe was the day
    Friend Jaybird did say
    “Let all sorts of your doggerel take flight.”Report

  5. Avatar Stillwater says:

    The press thinks that Trump’s lost the thread
    And that chaos is running ahead,
    So they talk to themselves
    About narratives he should shelve,
    While Trump tweets to his followers instead.Report

  6. Avatar Jaybird says:

    The Left cries from months of dejection
    And wand’ring without introspection
    Trump’s tweets do distract
    Makes them ignore the fact
    That Bern would have won the electionReport

    • Avatar Stillwater says:

      The DNC’s eye was a glintin’
      When they nominated that dues payer Clinton
      “It was her turn!”
      Then along came the Bern
      And we ended up with Trump.Report

    • Avatar Aaron David says:

      He said “feel the Bern”
      She seemed with no need to learn
      a false sewing upReport

  7. Avatar Marchmaine says:

    Mr. Donald J. Trump
    The policies of Obama did dump.
    If his own seem a little bit mushy,
    its because he out chasing kittens.

    I give you, the Clerihew

    A clerihew (pronunciation: /?kl?r?hju?/) is a whimsical, four-line biographical poem invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley. The first line is the name of the poem’s subject, usually a famous person put in an absurd light, or revealing something unknown and/or spurious about them. The rhyme scheme is AABB, and the rhymes are often forced. The line length and metre are irregular. Bentley invented the clerihew in school and then popularized it in books. One of his best known is this (1905):

    Sir Christopher Wren
    Said, “I am going to dine with some men.
    If anyone calls
    Say I am designing St. Paul’s.”Report

  8. Avatar Stillwater says:

    A scandal can be driven by the loonyes
    Hopped up on the stinck of impugn-ness
    But the tip of the crapper
    Or so says Jake Tapper
    Is when a Chairmen acts like a bufoonyes.

    No! “like David Nunes”. Sorry!Report

  9. Avatar Jaybird says:

    Here is a story
    That confirms all your priors
    Ha ha! April Fool’s!Report

  10. Avatar Mike Schilling says:

    An orange-haired asshole named Don
    For advisers relies on his spawn
    He treats women like whores
    And grabs pussy galore
    As his fans all applaud his long con.Report

  11. Avatar Pinky says:

    There once were some Ord’nary Gents
    who were ’fraid that their name gave offense
    so they pled to their crimes
    and they got with the Times,
    Now their URL doesn’t make sense!Report

  12. Avatar Jaybird says:

    If #BlackLivesMatter
    and you want to make a stand,
    Then drink some PepsiReport

  13. Avatar Jaybird says:

    After having a good-natured jeer
    At Pepsi’s worst move of the year
    We all shared a good “ha”
    at their corporate faux pas
    United: “Hey wait. Hold my beer.”Report

    • Avatar Stillwater says:

      United Airlines Inc
      From the Pepsi can would not drink.
      “The Asian guy?” they asked, for approval
      A non-volunteering “volunteer’s” forced removal.Report