This weekend is chock full of visiting family. We usually spend the evening of December 24th at my Mom’s for dinner and a small present exchange and then go over to my sister’s around noon on the 25th for the gathering in which we try our best to spoil the nephews.

In years past, the eldest has been of a mind to want either a pair of Those Shoes or some other status-signaling article of clothing rather than something awesome like a nerf gun and so, in years past, we’ve contributed to his Those Shoes fund (I seriously cannot believe how much Those Shoes cost) and also done the thing where we put a Kohl’s Card in a box with a note that says “THIS CARD MUST BE USED FOR SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR”.

This year, I talked to mom to ask what the nephews happened to be into and she told me to just go for it and get the nerf gun.

So I’m still going to get a Kohl’s card and put it in a box with a socks/underwear note but I’m also going to get a nerf gun for each of them.

Hey. Gramma said.

I will also have to hit Whole Foods for some of those weird and obscure apples that you just can’t get at Safeway/King Soopers and hit Safeway/King Soopers for the foodstuffs that don’t require extended pinkies and I’m hoping that the stores will be mostly empty with workers antsy to be able to close the store soon so they can get home to their families and nerf guns themselves.

From all of us to all of you: Season’s Greetings, be safe out there, and I hope you’re able to spend time with folks that don’t drive you nuts and, even if they do, I hope everybody is able to push it to the side for a meal or two.

So… what’s on your docket?

(Image is “Play” by Clare Briggs. Used with permission of the Briggs estate.)

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Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to AskJaybird-at-gmail.com

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11 thoughts on “Weekend!

    • The delight of Whole Foods is how random the selection is. I mean, they have those 4 kinds nearly all the time, but then they have all these other weird varieties … last week it was Kanzi and Western Galaxy (or something like that) and a couple others. This week, who knows?

      Koru is the brass ring but it’s sought after and rarely available – I found a source for them when I was in Canada this fall and I literally squealed at the thought that I’d be eating Korus all week.

      But the real genius of Whole Foods is that they know how to store the apples. Unlike Safeway or Costco (I’ve never been to Trader Joe’s because we only have one and it’s a fur piece), THEY DON”T REFRIGERATE AND THEN ROOM TEMPERATURE THEIR APPLES. Nor do they select for looks over taste. Nothing mushy, nothing bland. And if the apples start to get bruised or weird, it’s a piece of the apple, or a natural rot that tastes kinda good, not a “blech argh wtf is this”?

      I grew up with fresh local apples – actually my grandma had an orchard-gone-wildish on the land around her house, with a few good trees left – so finding apples that actually taste like they came off a tree somewhere instead of being grown for maximum shippability and then treated terribly along the way was a revelation. I eat probably 10 or 12 apples a week now. Again. <3.


  1. Bah! who the hell wants waxed apples.
    Goldrush for me (I had about a bushel and a half, and we’re through about half of it so far. They’ll last till February, still crunchy if a bit wrinkled on the outside — and that’s kept in the fridge).

    I get those local from the farmer’s market (We’re apple country around here — home of the Gold Delicious, as in every gold delicious looks different, not your Washington Specials).


  2. We shall be in on the Eve, C is roasting lamb and she picked up at the same time several hundred dollars in good booze (McCallan, Basil Hayden, Redbreast) So! That is how that night will go.

    Xmas day we shall be venturing into Tod town, to spend the night with one of C. former coworkers who settled here. I have a few old high school buddies who live there, but alas we shall not see them this jaunt.

    And there shall be no apples for me!


  3. We’re visiting Mr T’s folks this week. Shortly the guests for his mom’s festivus party will be arriving. Last night we were up cooking and laughing and drinking rum until about three.

    On boxing day we pack of for Saskatoon to visit Fledermaus’s & my folks.

    I’m quite enjoying just being along for the ride here. It’s nice visiting my folks and Fledermaus’s as well of course but somehow I can’t be as relaxed then.


  4. A busy few days on the docket. Christmas Eve with my family this afternoon, then I sit through the Methodist service at the wife’s church where everyone is very nice but it feels a bit like the Stepford Wives. I’ll also think about Catholic candlelight services of my youth when the guy in our parish with the amazing reading voice would read Luke 2:1 from a real scroll that someone in the church has crafted for that occasion.

    “Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world…”

    And I loved that part because it appealed to the budding historian in me. They would begin with a dark church and a single light on him while he read. Then ever-so-slowly candles would begin to alight across the church and it was…magical, not because the Lord was necessarily speaking to me (no religion) but just because I appreciated the theater of it.

    I will also remember the time I watched a kid in front of me put a huge booger on his candle and it sort of flared up and surprised him and made me laugh so hard I almost threw up.

    We’ll have a quiet Christmas with my in-laws tomorrow, then drive to Ohio on 12/26 to see the wife’s extended family for a couple of days. I love them to pieces and they have to be the collectively smartest group of people I know. Next week, two day work week!


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