Last weekend, we (finally!) had time to complete the (brilliant!) Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy. The name comes from how Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World’s End all have scenes that focus on Cornetto Ice Cream. Well, The World’s End focuses on a wrapper. That wrapper, however, was enough to give those movies that particular trilogy title instead of something like “the apocalypse trilogy” or something.
Not that Hot Fuzz was an apocalypse, of course.
Anyway, we only recently got around to watching The World’s End and, at first, I didn’t really like it. Well, not “I hated it!” but I thought that it was the weakest of the three films. In this one, instead of playing the stand-up guy in the flick as he did in Shaun and Hot Fuzz (okay, he was a wound a bit tight in Hot Fuzz), Simon Pegg played the jerky guy that you’re friends with anyway. Wait, not even that. Nick Frost in Shaun was the jerky guy that you’re friends with anyway. In this one, he plays the jerky guy that you were friends with anyway back in high school and have since moved the heck on from. The one who you spent every other day with in high school but is the main reason you’re not going to go back to the reunion. Because you just *KNOW* that he’s going back to the reunion. He’s the guy who looks forward to the reunion.
Anyway, I didn’t really enjoy spending two hours with that guy.
With that said, Glyph points out Film Crit Hulk’s take on the movie and Hulk points out how the movie is exceptionally complex, is more than willing to explore some deep, dark themes, and doesn’t merely have a Chekov’s Gun, but has a Chekov’s Gun Store.
I still didn’t really enjoy spending two hours with that guy.
Don’t get me wrong, I thought the movie was very, very good and I am glad that I saw it but after seeing Shaun of the Dead, I did my best to make sure my friends who hadn’t seen it went out and saw it. After Hot Fuzz, I did the same. After The World’s End… I’m just acknowledging that it was very, very good and, if you’ve seen the other two, you should see this one. I probably won’t see it a second time, though.
Tonight is also The Royal Rumble. (In most years, I would have put an exclamation point at the end of the sentence.)
(Also, didn’t they used to have the Rumble on the last Sunday Night before the Superbowl that didn’t have football? What’s Up With That?)
Anyway, here’s what’s currently scheduled for the Rumble:
Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Belt in a Last Man Standing match.
This one should be a corker. I love both of these guys and look forward to their brawl… I kind of would rather they had a straight up, no gimmick, match that the folks in the back said “you’ve got 24 minutes, make us proud” than something like a Last Man Standing match (where they’ll say “you’ve got 14 minutes, knock yourselves out”), but you can’t have everything. I’m hoping that the match will end with something like Owens lowering a forklift or something on Ambrose and we see Ambrose flailing to get up but he just can’t because the forklift “MUST WEIGH A TON!” and we have Owens win, Ambrose lose (BUT STILL LOOK GOOD), and we’re set up for an awesome IC match at WrestleMania.
Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Kalisto
This should be very good and, if the back office is smart, it’ll be an opportunity to expose the fans to a Asistencia Asesoría y Administración style. The back office is not smart. The back office is dumb.
These guys are both skilled wrestlers, though. It should be a good match anyway.
Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch
Sigh. They need to get rid of the “Diva’s” title and go back to the “Women’s” title. They actually have women wrestlers who are not divas now. I guess that stuff like Total Divas is more important to them than the stuff that happens in the ring. I don’t see how it creates synergies, though… how many tickets to house shows are sold by Total Divas? How many PPV buys? How many subscriptions to WWE.com? How many t-shirts? I just don’t understand anything anymore.
It’s like the back office is embarrassed by Professional Wrestling.
The New Day vs. The Usos
I love the New Day. I have gone from chanting “New Day Sucks” to “New Day Rocks”. The Usos haven’t ever really clicked for me. I love the Haka, I know they pour their hearts and souls into their matches… but they’ve never really clicked for me. They provide a great foil for New Day, though. They’ve got *THAT* going on for them.
And, finally, THE RUMBLE ITSELF.
Again, I would have put an exclamation point after that sentence but, you know, Reigns.
The Rumble is usually one of the most fun PPVs of the year and it’s usually got a good shot at being the best one. They can pack a half dozen (or more) storylines into a decent Rumble and the best ones (e.g., 2001) have an ebb and flow of chaos, comedy, and end with edge-of-your-seat screaming at the television. (Poor Kane.)
Anyway, this year’s has a cinderblock chained to its ankle. The WWE has decided that we are going to like Roman Reigns, like it or not. And we’re going to cheer for him, like it or not. And we are going to see him as someone who has earned his spot rather than as someone who was picked by the back office to be champion, like it or not. And so, like it or not, the Royal Rumble isn’t going to decide the #1 Contender for the match at WrestleMania. Like it or not, the Rumble will be a title defense for the #1 Entrant: Roman Reigns.
Personally, I think he’d benefit from a year with the IC belt and establishing himself as a serious guy at a lower level. This being pushed to the moon just ain’t working. (I’m going to boo the heck out of him, I tell you what.)
So we’re stuck with the horns of a dilemma. Either Roman Reigns is the #1 entrant and wins (forget about being pushed to the moon, we’re talking about being pushed to Mars) or he’s eliminated and loses the belt in a seriously unsatisfying way.
My picks for interesting storylines told in the match: The Wyatt Family will set something up for a feud with someone (or a couple of someones) for a longish term storyline (Big Show, maybe? Big Show and Braun Strowman would look good standing across from each other… good enough to sell PPVs around the thought of them doing so). Stardust will be the “less than 10 seconds in the Rumble” comedy spot. Poor Stardust. Braun Strowman will get the Diesel Push and eliminate the most people.
The finish will be Reigns vs. Brock and Reigns will eliminate Brock by doing something dumb like taunting him then, when Brock charges, pull down the top rope.
Those are my big guesses for tonight. (Do you have any?)
Of course, you may have seen The World’s End years ago and don’t watch wrestling at all. In that case, I’d have to ask:
So… what are you reading and/or watching?
(Featured Image is “Edison’s Telephonoscope” by George du Maurier from Punch Almanack for 1879)