How to have a spicy marriage.

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9 Responses

  1. Avatar Burt Likko says:

    So…. my wife and I are childless by choice. Does this mean we’re going to have a dull and boring, kinky-is-leaving-the-lights-on, sort of sex life?Report

  2. Avatar Doctor Jay says:

    Marcotte’s piece is a great example in the genre of “horrible people being horrible”. Which is all well and good fun for pointing and laughing.

    Seriously, I suspect that the result in the first link is tied not only to a reduction in resentment (that of wife toward husband) and fatigue, but that equal childcare responsibility is also a marker for differential attitudes about sex.

    In the traditional gender system, women are not really supposed to feel desire. That’s where slut-shaming comes from, after all. Desire is assigned to the male partner. I’ve read research that suggests that while brain scans show that the same thing is happening in the brains of men and women who watch porn, women do not report nearly the level of arousal as men. (Granted that could be because of the orientation of the porn … but remember the brain scans). Women have tended to dissociate their sexual feelings, and that’s going to lead to a sexless relationship after a while, I think. And all of this could be correlated to views on childcare.Report

  3. Avatar Kazzy says:

    Could the arrow go the other way? Couples with better sex lives are more likely to share responsibilities?

    I’m not sure what it means one way or another… I’m just always curious which way causality runs.Report