Where Doctor Seuss Made A Mistake

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Jaybird

Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to AskJaybird-at-gmail.com

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25 Responses

  1. Avatar North
    Ignored
    says:

    Sweet googly moogly.Report

  2. Avatar Glyph
    Ignored
    says:

    I’m going the Bowie/cheapskate route and just getting one done.Report

  3. Avatar morat20
    Ignored
    says:

    Weird. Didn’t know that about eye color though.

    It’d be weird to look into a mirror and see blue eyes staring back, though.Report

  4. Avatar greginak
    Ignored
    says:

    Meh. I’m saving up for a Uvula enhancement.Report

  5. Avatar veronica d
    Ignored
    says:

    My eyes are already blue.

    Fuckers trying to steal my edge!Report

  6. Avatar aaron david
    Ignored
    says:

    Mmm, my eyes already change color between blue, green and grey.Report

  7. Avatar Saul Degraw
    Ignored
    says:

    Did they see the Boys from Brazil?

    I like having brown-green eyes.

    Fishing AryanizersReport

    • Avatar Jaybird in reply to Saul Degraw
      Ignored
      says:

      If I wanted to become Jewish, how difficult would it be?

      Is there an operation I could undergo?Report

      • Avatar aaron david in reply to Jaybird
        Ignored
        says:

        Yes, but they prefer it done on the 8th day.Report

      • Avatar LeeEsq in reply to Jaybird
        Ignored
        says:

        Jaybird, the answer it depends but the process of becoming Jewish is usually fairly difficult for a variety of theological and sociological reasons. Theologically, Jews saw no needs in making gentiles Jewish because ideas about life after death were fuzzy at best and it was generally assumed that God wouldn’t punish gentiles for being gentiles. He created them to. Therefore, the Rabbis adopted stringent standards for conversion during Talmudic times. A gentile who wanted to become a Jew most not have mecurial aims, including wanting to marry a Jew, must accept the “yoke of heaven” and agree to follow all the laws of the Torah, have a ritual immesion in a mikveh, and if a man get circumicized.Report

      • Avatar Glyph in reply to Jaybird
        Ignored
        says:

        must accept the “yoke of heaven”

        But I thought you shouldn’t convert just for the yokes….

        Report

      • Avatar Chris in reply to Jaybird
        Ignored
        says:

        “It offends me as a comedian.”Report

      • Avatar Will H. in reply to Jaybird
        Ignored
        says:

        I have put a bit of thought into this, as I too have considered converting to Judaism.
        First of all, I would like to kill the baby Jesus. Secondly, I am already circumcised.
        So, I’ve got the two biggies out of the way . . .

        It’s the beard.
        I have difficulty getting a decent goatee going.
        And there are at least seven different colors of hair in my beard. In fact, it might be half an inch over or more until another hair of the same color occurs.

        Maybe there’s a Reform movement somewhere that would allow falsies.Report

      • Avatar Kim in reply to Jaybird
        Ignored
        says:

        Will,
        you don’t need a beard to be Jewish.
        (I think even Muslims have it as “recommended” simply because Mohammed wore one).

        I should like to see a picture of said multicolored beard.Report

  8. Avatar kenB
    Ignored
    says:

    That’s going to add a whole new wrinkle to the Blue Eyes puzzle.Report

  9. Avatar Troublesome Frog
    Ignored
    says:

    I had a friend who would wear one colored contact until people noticed that he “had two different colored eyes.” Then he would switch which side he wore it on.Report

  10. Avatar Mike Schilling
    Ignored
    says:

    The no-frills version is a dozen cases of cheap booze, to turn them permanently red.Report

  11. Avatar Will H.
    Ignored
    says:

    I have a black hole in my . . .Report

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