Tonight, we get on the Road to WrestleMania!
The problem with having Brock Lesnar as WWE world heavyweight champion is that there are really only two wrestlers, maybe three, that could credibly beat him. John Cena, The Undertaker, and *MAYBE* The Big Show (In Monster Mode). If they’re willing to eat some of their own seed corn (and they’ve always been willing to in the past), they could get The Rock to come back for some kind of gimmicky match. A “Know Your Role” match or something equally silly. But there’s nobody else that can beat him.
And I’m pretty sure that The Undertaker’s ship has sailed.
As such, seeing that tonight’s Main Event (well, the non-Rumble main event, anyway) is Seth Rollins vs. John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar tells me the finish: Brock Lesnar will eat, sleep, conquer, repeat and when he covers Cena for the pin, Seth Rollins will run up, give Lesnar the curb stomp, cover Cena and take the belt.
(The main reason I think that that might not happen is because, while Rollins may indeed be a main eventer, he sure as heck ain’t a WrestleMania main eventer. Put him at the top of the card for “Night of Champions” or something. Ease him into the role. Or… well, I’ll have the new theory fleshed out by the end of the post.)
As for THE RUMBLE itself, we’ve got (deep breath) Roman Reigns, Daniel Bryan, United States Champion Rusev, Intercontinental Champion Bad News Barrett, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Goldust, Stardust, Big Show, Kane, The Miz, Damien Mizdow, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, Ryback, Fandango, Luke Harper and, I’m quoting here, “others”.
I’m pretty sure that “others” will include the guest celebrity, the returning wrestler from yesteryear (Ron Simmons? The Rock?), the comedy wrestler (they could have used The Bunny but noooo), and the guy we forgot about (Chris Jericho?).
So who is going to win? I could see a Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins WrestleMania title match as being just under the top of the card and, in the main event, John Cena Finally Beats Brock Lesnar. He’ll finally beat the one who put the one in twenty-one and one. So, yeah. Those are my predictions for tonight and for the upcoming months.
If you know nothing about the pro wrestling universe, I apologize for the previous and thank you for reading this far.
So… what have you been reading and/or watching?