Me (& Walmart) vs The World
My wife sometimes chides me about my poor sense of color. I will describe the color of things and turn out to be completely wrong, some of the time. For the longest time, I had these gray cargo pants that I referred to as “green” until the 50th time of her reminding me that they were, in fact, gray.
For years, I would describe my friend Clint as having red hair. In fact, it is brown.
I was Facebook-chatting with Maribou weeks ago and I referred to their flag as being “orange and white”, much to her confusion because it is, in fact, red and white.
Clancy and I were talking a while back about my color thing and she wondered if I had ever been tested for color-blindness. I said that I had, but that I’d always passed. Adding on at the end “Despite the fact that they purposefully make it difficult.”
“Those color-blindness tests. You know, the number in one color surrounded by another color. They make it so that it’s hard to see with those weird effects.”
“No, Will, it’s easy to see.”
“No! They rig it! I have to like look at it for five minutes before figuring it out. Also, try to figure out which numbers they’ve already shown and do process of elimination.”
“Process of elimination isn’t seeing color, Will.”
“I wouldn’t have to do that if they wouldn’t try to trick me.”
“They’re not trying to trick you! Those ‘weird effects’ are probably color-blindness!”
On and on.
Well, today I win. To the right are pictures of some pants. I’m 90% sure that they’re the same pants that I have and call green that my wife calls gray. I was trying to find them to order some replacements. Anyway… what does Walmart call them? GREEN!
So it’s my wife and those stupid tests trying to convince me that I’m color-blind. It’s Walmart and me vs the world.
(Unless, when they arrive, they are in fact a completely different color than my existing pants. In which case, it’s me vs my wife, Walmart, my friend Clint, the nation of Canada, and the world.)