1. Waffles
2. French toast
[wide gap]
3. Pancakes
Argue if you must. But you’re wrong.
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Kazzy
One man. Two boys. Twelve kids.
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I considered putting crepes somewhere on the list, but their dichotomous sweet versus savory identify crisis made them too hard to place.Report
It’s tricky – if you’re standing on top of a waffle, you might not notice them unless you crane your neck waaaaaay back. So high you wouldn’t realize the awesome scale reached that far up from where you are.Report
You obviously have never had good pancakes.Report
What does a pancake have that a waffle doesn’t? A waffle has crisp, fluffiness, lightness… a pancake is just dense crap.Report
What does a pancake have that a waffle doesn’t?
Breakfastosity rather than dessertosity.Report
You’ve obviously not had good pancakes. I have a fabulous southern recipe, and I’ve had “world famous” midwestern pancakes.
Southern are fluffy, a bit browned, light as a feather….
Midwestern style are like crepes — except far far less eggy. Crispy edges, thin, oooh, I could go for some now!Report
If pancakes are good enough for Prince, they are good enough for me.
Pancakes.Report
Additionally:
Making a face on waffles is exponentially more difficult than making a face on pancakes.Report
“All My Friends are Breakfast Items: The Jaybird Story”… next… on the Hallmark Channel.Report
I will be eating waffles tomorrow, and I have now resolved to make faces on them and take pictures of them. I suppose this will be my contribution to the food symposium (I was working on something on food and place, but this seems more relevant).
Also, Dave Chapelle’s Prince remains the one thing I truly love about that show. The Charlie Murphy Prince story, along with the Chapelle reenactment, remains one of the funniest things I have ever seen.Report
That’s the “one thing”? Man, I loved a lot of that show.
The best part is the repeated “pancakes”, and Murphy’s 1000-yard stare. Like after all these years, that’s the detail he still can’t believe.Report
Yeah, I feel like a lot of the show has been tainted, or was always tainted, in a lot of ways. If nothing else, then because what it did to Chapelle personally. But that Prince skit, dear god it’s funny.Report
Chris,
if you’re going to be bothered by comedians tearing themselves to bits onstage, you might as well give up comedy.Report
Further evidence:
Report
Man, I’d love to include more of that Review “Pancakes” episode, but I don’t want to spoil it. Watch Review everybody! It’s getting a second season, woo-hoo!Report
Hmm… I’d take pancakes almost every time, followed by French toast. Don’t dislike waffles, but can probably count on my hands the number of times I’ve gone with them over pancakes or French toast.
Also, the crisp thing isn’t really a selling point for me. I actually like my pancakes a little under-cooked; therefore, extra doughy.Report
You should come try some good Liege waffles.
For one thing, they’re sour-bread, and with a light carmelized sugar on the outside?
Pure heaven.Report
I don’t get it. Where is the corn beef hash?Report
This isn’t a comprehensive ranking of breakfast foods but, rather, an assessment of the relative strength of the super-bready breakfast options.Report
I still don’t get it. Where’s the corn beef hash?Report
@tod-kelly
I’ll confess to not even really knowing what corned beef hash is. I think my stepfather used to eat it but he has some midwest roots in him and I always assumed that was why. I think I ate it cold out of a can on an ill-fated camping trip one time. It tasted like someone had eaten something rather delicious, threw it back up, washed up 80% of the vomit taste and retained 50% of the original taste. In other words, not bad, but not something I’d get internet-angry about. What am I missing?Report
@kazzy “I’ll confess to not even really knowing what corned beef hash is.”
That may be the saddest sentence I’ve read in ages.Report
Ditto. I love corned beef hash. While I actually like the canned stuff (in addition to fresh), I recommend eating it warmed up and not cold.Report
@kazzy “I’ll confess to not even really knowing what corned beef hash is.”
Russell is right, that’s just sad.
Also, you should know that what your stepfather ate out of a can is *not* corned beef hash. I’m pretty sure that the stuff they sell in a can and call corned beef hash is repurposed dog food. In fact, when you see hash in a restaurant you need to ask if theirs is from a can. If it is, you’ll get this kind of flat grilled patty of goo. If you can eat all of it, you’ve a stronger digestive system than I.
But if you get *real* corned beef hash, Kazzy, this is what you get:
The cook starts by frying chopped onions in a cast iron skillet until they are just becoming golden brown. He then throws in already cooked pieces of potatoes and chopped corn beef, and fries the lot until everything in the pan has a crispy, browned outside skin covering soft and moist insides. He then puts that on a plate, and — right before he serves it — tops it off with an over easy egg that drips yolk into the greasy heaven that sits before you the moment your fork first hits the plate.
*That* is corned beef hash.Report
@tod-kelly
What you describe, I can get on board with. Especially if it’s cooked real crisp and topped with a dash or two of Tabasco. Seems like my description of the cold canned stuff was fair.
But can others weigh in on this being a decidedly non-NYC food?Report
Oh, absolutely on the Tabasco sauce.
Others would have to weigh in on the NY piece, but fwiw all of the “New York-style” delis on the west coast that I’ve ever been to serve CBH. Which might have more to do with what west-coasters think NYers are like than it does about what NYers are like.Report
Tod,
(While I said I liked “fresh” corned beef hash, it’s probably the case that what I consider “fresh” is from a can and I just don’t realize it.)
I’ve never made corned beef hash but have wanted to. How do you suggest pre-cooking the potatoes? Fry them ahead of time? Boil and then dice? Dice and then boil?
I also think garlic, and maybe some parsley, might taste good in CBH, too. But I’ve never tried it.Report
French toast über alles. On this list, anyway. Neither pancakes nor waffles have custard into which bourbon may be integrated.Report
Yeah, I’m with you. Proper french toast kicks pancakes’ and waffles’ butts.Report
Obviously neither of you have had my waffles or Kitty’s pancakes.
And I say that as someone who also loves French Toast.Report
Do either of these incorporate bourbon? In the syrup perhaps? I’m certainly willing to give them a try.Report
The bourbon goes in the coffee, doesn’t it?Report
Burt,
obviously you can put a bourbon sauce on anything. It probably goes quite well on ice cream.Report
If its a kids breakfast, the bourbon goes in the parents.Report
I agree with Burt.Report
French toast is great because you can make it with spiced-up banana or pumpkin bread. Last weekend our friends had us over for pancakes, and we sliced up some pear and sautéed it (sans oil) before putting it on top of the pancakes with some chopped walnuts — highly recommended!Report
And this is why I hate french toast. French toast is only to be made with bread so stale that the custard softens it, not making the whole thing turn to mush. I hate mushy bread.Report
French toast and waffles run neck-and-neck for me, but the possibility of chicken and waffles gives the latter a slight edge.
Fuck pancakes.Report
I find this use of aggressive profanity on a food post kind of…Thuggish. 🙂Report
Chicken and waffles?
That’s a new one for me. Never heard those two foods paired before.Report
It’s a thing.Report
@katherinemw
You… wha… never… [faints]Report
I’ve heard of it, but never thought it worth testing the constitution of my stomach with.
It’s got too much potential to go horribly, horribly wrong.Report
What kind of chicken are we talking about here? Fried?
I am interested in this unfamiliar culinary concept.Report
Ideally fried, though sometimes smothered.Report
It’s not well known in Canada Kazzy.Report
Oh, those Canadians, with their waffleless fried chicken and their cottage cheese on French fries. Cold makes people crazy.Report
Cold makes people crazy?
Says someone who eat fried chicken (instead of maple syrup and bacon) with his waffles? Seriously?
One of my first taste memories is of bacon. My grandparents, who we lived with at the time I was beginning to eat real food on a regular basis, grew a couple of pigs each summer, and come fall, my grandfather would slaughter them and smoke most of the meat. He also made his own maple syrup. My grandmother raised chickens, so there were fresh eggs. And bacon. And pancakes. And strong-perked coffee which he’d pour like a black syrup from his cup and slurp out of the saucer, to cool it off to drinking temperature. I would have milk to drink, we also had dairy cows.
I still love tapping the trees at the beginning of sap season; it’s been earlier and earlier the last few years. Some years, over before the time I’d expect it to run from childhood. (Sap season ends when the leaves begin to bud, and the chemistry of the tree changes; the sap gets bitter tasting.)Report
Chicken and waffles gave us the worst potato chips known to humankind</a. Y'all have a lot to answer for.Report
I’ve never had chicken and waffles myself, but I’ve heard of it, and the idea sounds good.Report
This is so true that there may in fact be a physical law that describes it. Pancakes are basically dense, filling, uninteresting syrup and butter holders.Report
I’ll add that my son would eat French toast 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, if I let him.Report
Is your son ‘Flynn’ White?Report
But they make a great base for whipped cream and strawberries.Report
You say that like it’s a bad thing.Report
I love all three of them.
French toast is best if you have bread that’s starting to go stale and needs to be used up; it seems wasteful to use fresh bread for it.
Waffles are great but far more work than pancakes (at least for me, because I have a Belgian waffle maker and a recipe that involves separating the eggs).
Pancakes are quick, easy, and enjoyable.
All of the above are better with white flour rather than whole-wheat; whole wheat makes them too dense and not fluffy enough.Report
I’ll quibble slightly with your last para, but only on store-bought Eggo waffles. I find the whole wheat ones more satisfying, the standard ones just evaporate in your stomach in seconds and you are hungry again.
Never get the low-fat ones though. That’s like eating packing material.Report
Get the fluffy ones.
I actually usually get the flax seed ones, so I feel like I’m being healthy while I clog my arteries.Report
Store-bought waffles are not waffles. They’re a last-ditch replacement for toast when you run out of bread.Report
I make a PB&J with them most every morning and it is delicious.Report
Something I’ve come to note is that basically no place uses actual maple syrup. Even 4-star hotels give you some maple-flavored concoction. Granted, a bottle of real maple syrup is priced like a bottle of single-malt scotch, but I think it’s worth it.Report
R. has recently discovered, and begun using almost exclusively, pure cane syrup. I can’t stand it.Report
My grandfather farmed sugar cane, so we had a lot of cane syrup growing up.Report
Try getting her some golden syrup. You might even be able to stand it, as it actually has a touch of flavor.Report
My family uses only pure maple syrup – but we’re Canadian, so I guess you expect that.Report
Word. Every time I visit my Mum I buy a gallon jug from the local maple baron and smuggle it home. Nova Scotian maple syrup is simply superior.Report
I can’t vouch for Nova Scotia, but I do think maple syrup has to come from the northeastern parts of North America. Michigan maple syrup is bleh.
And crepes are far far above waffles @kazzy. You’ve obviously never studied breadology.Report
Canada produces 80% of the world’s maple syrup. 91% of that is from Quebec. I learned this from one of the best business stories of the past couple years: the theft of 6 million pounds of maple syrup from Canada’s Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve: http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2013-01-02/the-great-canadian-maple-syrup-heistReport
If you’ve ever seen the end of the season 2 finale of The Shield, I imagine the robbers felt something like that.Report
Actual maple syrup kinda sucks. Its thin, runny and not all that sweet. The maple flavoured high fructose corn syrup is the thing that hits the spot.Report
What color is the sky on your world?Report
Its black now because its 11:27 pm. Its just that I’ve bought the real stuff. I’ve bought the fake stuff. And I preferred the fake stuff to the real stuff.Report
” Its thin, runny and not all that sweet.”
Strangely enough, that’s one reason why I prefer real maple. I don’t like a lot of syrup on my pancakes to begin with, and while I like sweet, I don’t like the ueber sweetness of pseudo-maple syrup.Report
Not to get all maple nerd on you, but since it’s made through distillation, maple syrup is available in a lot of different grades (just like diesel is different from jet fuel and from gasoline even though all are made from oil).
From the sound of it, you’d probably want one of the grades labeled as “fancy”. They tend to be sweeter, more clear, and have less of a maple flavor. Many of the other grades are intended for cooking even though the seller might not mention that.Report
@vikram-bath Actually, the best is the dark, Grade B syrup. The Fancy is the least desirable; we sell it to tourists.Report
Personally, I agree, but if he’s saying it’s not sweet enough…Report
Fancy isn’t as sweet.
The different grades generally come from different time periods through the sap season; fancy being the very first runs, when the roots aren’t releasing as much sugar and minerals yet. It isn’t as sweet; it’s more ‘delicate.’ The later runs, as the trees begin to start their leaf-buds, are the Grade A and Grade B runs; and have more flavor, more color, more minerals, and taste sweeter. (The grading has nothing to do with ‘distillation,’ btw; all syrup is made the same way — boiling it down until the sugar concentration is great enough to act as a preservative.)Report
Panatone French Toast. Add almond extract to your egg/cream wash.
It’s the bomb biatches!
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
(and it’s this)Report
1. Pancakes, made with a fermented batter;
2. French toast, made with home-made bread;
3. Waffles, also made with a fermented batter.
All of the above served with real maple syrup; none of that sugar-syrup and corn syrup flavored with fenugreek and colored with caramel. Or whatever.
And the reason waffles are #3 is because they require specialized equipment that serves no other purpose. I pretty much despise those types of gadgets taking up space in my kitchen. But I do have a non-electric waffle iron; just hinged waffle plates that you use over a hot burner.
And your forgot popovers and crepes. Popovers, (ratio is 1 cup flour to 1 egg to 1/2 cup of milk) are practically perfect. Crepes, essentially super-thin pancakes, are ideal for foods from savory to sweet.
When I’ve got leftover turkey around, I’ll often make crepes. Fill them with a mixture of chopped turkey, apple, celery, maybe an onion, a few raisins bound with a small amount of gravy, roll ’em up, put in a baking dish, and top with a bit more gravy, bake until heated through. My kids loved this when they were small. We did a 3-course crepe dinner once; a salad crepe, filled with fresh veggies, served cold with a dressing; chicken (not turkey crepes) and apple crepes with ice cream for desert.
And waffles, pancakes, and french toast are best as supper foods, not breakfast.Report
Ooh, I’ve never had that crepe filling, but it sounds delicious. I’m remembering that for Christmas leftovers (basically equals turkey + dressing in a crepe).Report
Is “Gifts of Gab” only loading intermittently for anyone else?Report
Pancakes beat waffles. Pancakes beat French toast. And while an ordinary French toast beats an ordinary waffle or an ordinary pancake, I’ve never had a French toast that beat a good pancake or a good waffle.Report
@murali
Is today opposite day? Because you are trying REALLY hard to be wrong.Report
IHOP pancakes are just pure awesome goodness. I don’t know why you can’t just get that. I wish we had IHOP over here. Its supposed to be international but its not.Report
IHoP is in Canada, Mexico, and multiple Middle Eastern countries. What is your standard for international?Report
@james-hanley
Dammnit, why isn’t it in Singapore?Report
Do you want to make your fortune, Murali?Report
Um… where the holy hell are biscuits and gravy?Report
@russell-saunders
Goddamnit, people! This is not a comprehensive ranking of every breakfast food ever! It is a purely objective and scientifically -arrived-at ordering of these three particular breakfast items.Report
Dude, if your list of “pretty much just modified bread” breakfast foods doesn’t include biscuits and gravy, I… I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.Report
Russell:
That was my question, too.
Kazzy:
It’s been scientifically proven that biscuits and gravy are the best breakfast food ever. No exceptions.Report
There’s a place in Seattle called Serious Biscuit that we kind of randomly found on vacation the summer before last, which (obviously) rocks a mean array of fantastic biscuit-based breakfasts.
We went back to Seattle as part of vacation again this past summer, and made a point of returning.Report
Wow. If I ever go to Seattle, I’ll keep that in mind.
(By the way, it’s nice to see you back in these parts.)Report
@gabriel-conroy Thanks, man. I’ve gotten side-tracked by other demands over the past several months. But those demands seem to be tapering off, and I’m hoping to spend more time back here so as to remind myself why I liked writing on the Internet to begin with.Report