First is a sentence from a best-selling American Government text, introducing the concept of congressional oversight of executive agencies.
Congress is constitutionally essential to responsible bureaucracy because the key to government responsibility is legislation.
Second is what I’ve come up with to introduce that section.
Congressional oversight is part of the constitutional system of checks and balances. It is how the legislative branch makes sure that the executive branch is ‘tak[ing] care that the laws be faithfully executed’ and is staying within its proper constitutional boundaries.
OK, I cheated and there’s actually three sentences. But I flatter myself that my two sentences are much clearer than their one sentence. In a recent post I quoted author John Geirach asking “What sane person would spend a whole day writing a paragraph that reads like it was dashed off in thirty seconds?” I suspect my two sentences took considerably more time to write than their one. It took four drafts to get there. It’s always possible I’m deceiving myself, but stumbling across that sentence from a texbookt, just after I’d written my sentences, was one of those crucial moments in this writing project that restored my confidence that I’m doing it right.
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