Am I Being Sexist?
Zazzy is currently in her 16th week of pregnancy. The miracles of modern science tell us that that is currently carrying a perfectly healthy baby boy. This is generally very good news.
However… this is very, very likely going to be our last child. And there is a part (not a huge part, but a real part nonetheless) of me disappointed that is very, very unlikely that I will have a daughter.
This feels wrong. While I do recognize that there are some general physiological differences between the sexes, I also believe that gender/gender expression/gender identity is largely a social construct and, as such, there is no real reason for me to expect the relationship I would have with a daughter would be necessarily different than that which I might have with a son. That is to say, it feels wrong to miss something that isn’t necessarily even real.
Yet, miss it I do.
If you’ll oblige me… please… discuss…
(For the record, I recognize that there may well be some privilege or otherwise ‘humble bragging’ leaking through in this post. Zazzy and I are incredibly fortunate to have been able to get pregnant through natural means with essentially no difficulty and to have had zero complications for either baby through 13+ months of total gestation. So while responses of the form, “Dude, some people can’t even get pregnant. Do you know how many people would kill to be pregnant with a healthy boy right now?” aren’t entirely unjustified, I don’t think they are particularly constructive to the conversation I’m hoping to have here regarding the impact of sex/gender/gender expression/gender identity/gender norms/etc. on the relationships parents form with their children. Apologies in advance for any offense or irritation this particular line of investigation may cause.)