Hey Soccer Fans: Ann Coulter Thinks You’re Pussies
In yet another bid to maintain whatever relevance she has left, Ann Coulter takes on soccer fans in her latest column and proves that she knows about as little about the game as she does anything else.
Apparently, soccer is some kind of liberal plot to denigrate individual achievement and promote a genderless society while simultaneously boring us to death.
Real Americans don’t play, watch, or condone soccer. It’s for girls, whereas real sports are male only. Plus, it’s foreign, like the metric system. According to Coulter: “No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.”
If Coulter didn’t exist, The Onion would have to make her up.