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36 Responses

  1. Avatar Tod Kelly says:

    I cannot stress enough what a fabulous piece this is, MRS.Report

  2. Avatar Chris says:

    Gave me a big smile. Wonderful and thank you for sharing it.Report

  3. Avatar Maribou says:

    This warmed my heart. I will think of it the next time I tell someone “I got you.” (which I do all the time…)Report

  4. Avatar Burt Likko says:

    Aww. I needed a smile today. Thanks for the awesome story, MRS, and enjoy the Bug!Report

  5. Avatar Kazzy says:

    Awesome. Is that you and him in the pic?

    My wife is the “feeler” in our relationship. I’ve never been much of a feeler and have built up a certain callous to the emotional tugs and pulls of lil’uns from spending damn near every day of the past 10+ years with them. Mayo has softened that a bit but given what I know about how children can tug at your heart strings and how tuggable my wife’s heart strings can be, I’ve been trying to prepare her for moments like these. Were I not, there is very legitimate concern that she would go into some irrevocable state of shock.

    “One day he’s going to just walk up to you and say, “I love you, Mommy” and give you a kiss. You might have a heart attack when this happens. Make sure you have a paper bag with you.”Report

    • Avatar Mad Rocket Scientist says:

      Yeah, that’s me & mini-me (seriously, he is; one of these Halloweens, we are both getting silver jumpsuits & he’s getting a skull cap).

      I also tend to be less “feeling” than my wife, but Bug is a pretty effective emotional trigger for me. Considering everything we went through to get him into this world, it’s little wonder.Report

      • Avatar Kazzy says:

        They’ll do that. A number of people from work — who I generally keep at arm’s length as “proximity friends” — have commented on little things I’ve done that indicate my gooey emotional center.

        “Was Kazzy just nice? What’s up with that? [gasp] The baby! It’s getting to him! He is human!”

        “Considering everything we went through to get him into this world, it’s little wonder.”
        FWIW, I’d love to hear this story one day. I recognize it is your story and you are free to tell it or not as you wish, but I always am fascinated by the different paths we take to parenthood. Additionally, I also thing we stupidly stigmatize people who don’t conceive “naturally” when we should be celebrating the efforts they’ve made to create their family (assuming this is what you meant by “everything [you] went through”… which I may be way off in assuming).Report

      • Avatar Mad Rocket Scientist says:

        The short of it was that our first attempt at kids ended in an ectopic pregnancy. The little guy was too tough by half, survived both attempts to end the pregnancy chemically, and had to come out via surgery. The surgery cost my wife both her tubes, so we had no choice but to try IVF.

        Bug was our third & final attempt at IVF.Report

      • Avatar Kazzy says:

        I’m glad that he is here with us. If he didn’t gotchu, we’d probably be worrying about ya.Report

      • Avatar Mad Rocket Scientist says:

        Thanks @kazzy

        Now if we could just get people to stop asking us when we are going to have another…Report

      • Avatar Kazzy says:

        I’ve become close with a colleague recently who had a long struggle to have her first (and only) child. She wants nothing more than to have another but for a host of reasons that is not in the cards for her. She is remarkably open about it — which is part of what got me thinking about the extent to which she stigmatize infertility, pregnancy complications, and the like — and I am thoroughly impressed by her for that. Our conversations have made me think about the way in which I — and we as a society — discuss pregnancy and how otherizing that can be to people whose stories don’t “follow the script”.

        I bet if you asked people to estimate how many children are conceived with support* of one kind or another, they’d guess just a fraction of the actual number

        * Even here, I feel limited by language. “Natural pregnancies” imply something unnatural about other pregnancies, which feels wrong. “Medical interventions” is probably a technically accurate term but feels overly technical. Oi…Report

      • Avatar Kim says:

        considering the number of abusive men who withhold/break birth control from their partners, the amount of “medical intervention” might be a LOT higher than even the fertility docs would estimate.

        How hard is it to pick up fertility drugs on the black market?Report

      • Avatar Mad Rocket Scientist says:

        I suspect that as the age of first time mothers increases, especially among the educated set (who typically wait to have their first), we’ll see more normalizing of assisted conception & pregnancies. I mean, socially we encourage women to wait until they are older, but biologically, that is not always ideal, and evolution hasn’t caught up to that yet.Report

  6. Avatar zic says:

    I gotchu MRS for this sweet, sweet piece.

    I agree, a way of not just saying but of physically demonstrating love. But so much more — trust and faith and being there.Report

  7. Avatar J@m3z Aitch says:

    Sounds like love to me. Pretty awesome, too.Report

  8. Avatar Will Truman says:

    When I was describing this to my wife, my daughter repeated “Gotchu” after I said it.Report

  9. Avatar Mike Schilling says:

    This was just lovely.Report

  10. Avatar North says:


  11. This was truly lovely.

    My oldest son has entered a phase where he likes to outdo me in finding ways of telling me how much he loves me. He loves me to the sun, to the moon, to Spain (!). When I leave for work in the morning, he runs to the window and signs “I love you,” lately modified to say “You love me,” too.

    It may be my favorite thing ever.Report

    • Avatar Troublesome Frog says:

      Not quite like my cousin and her daughter:

      Daughter: I love you to 100!
      Mom: I love you to 101!
      Daughter: [long, awkward pause] Well, I love you to 100.

      At least we know the exact cutoff.Report

      • Avatar Kazzy says:

        Math is harder than love. Usually…Report

      • Avatar Chris says:

        My son’s little brother knows two large numbers (one of which isn’t actually a number): one hundred and “a zillion.” So if you play games like that with him, he will first say one hundred, and then skip straight to a zillion.Report

      • Avatar Glyph says:

        When The Boy (5) reaches for a “large” number it’s always “200,000” (though it might be “two hundred (and a) thousand”, that is, “1,200”).

        Unfortunately, it looks like math may not be his strong suit either…Report

      • Avatar Mad Rocket Scientist says:


        No! Don’t say that! build the math confidence early & often! Everyone can do math, even the complex stuff. We’ve all just bought into the lie that some people aren’t cut out for math, parents (& teachers, sadly) perpetuate the attitude, & kids lose confidence in their ability to understand math.

        Truth is, everyone is good at math(absent an actual learning disability), but since some people get math much faster than others, we’ve decided that they represent the base line, instead of recognizing that they are closer to exceptional.Report

      • Avatar Glyph says:

        @mad-rocket-scientist – I was really just joking, but, re: confidence, it’s actually worse than that.

        They have data showing that anxiety/stress shuts down the very same brain regions needed for math processing, creating a negative feedback loop where you CAN’T learn, because you are stressed about learning. And that stress association becomes sort of ingrained.

        So the way I was taught, totally screwed up my abilities, because to this day, I sometimes see numbers and my brain just says, “nope, I’m out”.

        I really really hope to ensure my kids have a different experience.Report

      • Avatar Glyph says:

        Oh, and forgot to say – this was an awesome post, thanks.Report

      • Avatar Mad Rocket Scientist says:


        I know. Took me years to overcome my math anxiety. I was well into my Junior year of college before I finally broke through it & found math to be a lot easier. It’s still work, and sometimes I have to take a deep breath & calm down, but once I’m in the zone, I’m good at it.

        And thank you! 🙂Report

    • Avatar Mad Rocket Scientist says:



      And you have to stop reading “Guess How Much I Love You” to him.Report

  12. Avatar Maria says:

    Loved this! Reminds me of the relationship between my husband and my 2.5 year old daughter. She brings out the silly, squishy side in him.Report