Michael Bay Answers Critics of His Upcoming Easter Movie

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25 Responses

  1. Avatar North says:

    Why do I feel like Coke Encrusted Hollywood Exec was intimately involved in this in some way?Report

    • Avatar LeeEsq in reply to North says:

      I wonder if the the cookbooks used by cannibals contain recipes for Coke Encrusted Hollywood Executives like how some people cook fish encrusted in salt. Maybe it would be like frying something in batter though.Report

    • Avatar Coke-Encrusted Hollywood Exec in reply to North says:

      When I got back from Tijuana I found that my boneheaded assistant had agreed I’d take net points on this thing!

      Everyone knows you demand gross points! A trained ape would have known better than to take net points! That’ll barely be enough money to get the stains out of this suit, if I’m lucky!Report

  2. Avatar Chris says:

    I just pre-ordered my opening night tickets.Report

  3. Avatar Glyph says:

    I predict that for the first couple days post-release, this movie shall be a flop; but verily, on its third day shall rise to #1 blockbuster of all time status.

    Jesus: the ultimate sleeper hit.Report

  4. Avatar Barry says:

    You actually had me for the first paragraph 🙂Report

  5. Avatar NewDealer says:

    But how are you going to respond to critics of your upcoming Ninja Turtles movie?Report

  6. Avatar ktward says:

    I am so out of the loop anymore.
    Seriously, pick virtually any loop, chances are I’m way out of it. Which is my official defense as to why it took me until “…Vin Diesel [something something] artistic nuance …” to finally catch on. Sure sure, I had a few suspicions earlier than that, but when one is chronically out of the loop, one becomes reflexively suspicious of one’s suspicions.

    Brilliant bit o’ work here, Mr. Bay.
    (May I call you Michael? Mikey? M-Dawg?)Report

  7. Avatar Mike Schilling says:

    I presume this was a Peter Jackson interview with a few details changed.Report

  8. Avatar Dan Miller says:

    That image…the only word for it is sublime. Where did you find it?Report

  9. Avatar Burt Likko says:

    [Brubaker-style slow clap]Report

  10. I am in awe of this. Especially this paragraph:

    As for all those historian-wanna-be-s who are so damn upset about the film’s supposed “anachronisms,” well, cry my a frickin’ river. Hey, were you alive in the year 100, or 200, or whenever it was Jesus lived? No, you weren’t. So the truth of it is, you don’t know what women’s swimwear looked like, nor do you know whether or not they wore it to wash horse carts with sponges and hoses in slow motion. And you’re seriously going to tell me that Satan can appear as a lion, a snake and a bush, but somehow he lacks the power to appear as a 30-foot tall warrior robot with lasers and rocket launchers? Please.

    Truer words have never been spoken. I think we all owe Coke Encrusted Hollywood Exec a debt of gratitude for convincing Mr. Bay to use our humble outlet to deliver this tour de force of a response to the snobs who pass for movie critics in this nation.Report

  11. Avatar Snarky McSnarksnark says:

    This apology has a whiff of Tod to it. Well done!Report

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