The Agony and the Ecstasy: Life in a Long Distance Relationship

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11 Responses

  1. Avatar Will Truman says:

    I’ve long found it weird that Facebook didn’t put some effort into matchmaking. The possibilities are endless.

    I hope things work out well for you.

    My wife and I were long distance at the outset. I have found that I am incapable of enjoying the sort of relationship that you have. We talked almost immediately about what was going to happen as far as who would move where and when. We set benchmarks and talked marriage. That this didn’t freak her out was actually a relief and an indication that we were a good match.

    This is me saying that you’re doing it wrong, just that I couldn’t do it that way just (as you probably couldn’t start talking marriage within a couple weeks of meeting someone). I always give advice on stuff, but of course it’s more geared towards

    Love’s disregard for convenience is aggravating.Report

  2. Avatar Damon says:

    I did the LDR for a year, ofc I’d been dating her for several years while in college so there was that. We drove from the east coast out to Seattle and had a blast. Later, after I’d gotten laid off and found another job back in the east, she flew out and we drove east. She was a peach.Report

  3. Avatar James Hanley says:

    Totes hoping it works out, my friend.

    Not a LDR story, but an acquaintances got together later story…a guy and a girl from my high school graduated class ran into each other at a Cubs game about 5 years after high school. We had a small enough school that of course they knew each other, but they weren’t even close to being in the same social circles. She was the well-dressed slightly snooty girl; he was the goof off. But they ended up sitting just a couple rows apart, starting talking, and when I saw them at our 20th reunion had been happily married for over a decade.Report

  4. Avatar North says:

    My Husband and I met through MIRC (essentially online chat) and our first two years were a LDR with me visiting him for half a year after that and then four years of LDR punctuated by visits over the summer terms. It can be a challenge but it worked out for me. Absence can make the heart grow fonder.Report

    • Avatar NewDealer in reply to North says:

      How did you handle the pressure?

      Right now, all I want is to be able to spend 7-10 days as a couple when we just live and act normally. Work, come home, eat, chat, hang out, get to reknow each other.

      The fact that we see each other potentially very rarely just seems to place me under an incredible amount of pressure and we always jam pack too many activities when what really seems nice is if we just hung out at the Park and walked aroundReport

  5. Avatar Burt Likko says:

    My attempt at LDR failed. But I was in law school and could not devote time to press on with it, and she wanted to relax things under those circumstances as well as do graduate school herself (which she did after a short time).

    NewDealer and NYGirlfriend are at a different phase of life than that, and that makes a big difference.Report

    • Avatar NewDealer in reply to Burt Likko says:


      I think we both feel a lot of pressure and so far have had our relationship expectations and disappointments but everything has been handled like calm, communicative adults.

      It doesn’t help that she is really my first girlfriend and the rest of my dating life has largely consisted of going on lots of one and two dates that went nowhere. A few times I’ve gotten up to four. She’s had a lot of long and serious relationships and finds it a bit startling that she is my first girlfriend. Or that someone can make it to their 30s without a super-serious relationship.

      On the other hand, she has told me that she doesn’t think she will be able to find a better spouse and that I am a genuinly nice person.

      In some ways, I am behind the learning curve. In other ways, maybe I am ahead of the curve. I’ve been told that most people would hem and haw in my situation and wait for as long as possible for commitment because this is where real hurt can happen. I seem to jump right in.Report

      • Avatar Kim in reply to NewDealer says:

        Oi. you think your dating stories are bad…
        You have not been hit by a literal clue-by-four, ya? [not my story.]
        Sidenote: breaking up with people in a construction zone is not a good idea.Report

  6. Avatar Rufus F. says:

    I tried a long distance relationship back when it was still possible to meet a partner via Yahoo! Groups for music tastes and we couldn’t do it for too long. Instead, I moved to Canada and we got married and stayed together for a decade, which was a really good run.Report