How Do You Get To Carnegie Hall?

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Jaybird

Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to AskJaybird-at-gmail.com

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10 Responses

  1. Avatar Burt Likko says:

    Between this and having to sever ties with at least two uncontrollable Syrian insurgent groups, Ayman al-Zawahri has got to be moaning to himself about how hard it is for a terrorist organization to find good help these days.Report

  2. Avatar notme says:

    Funniest thing I’ve seen in a while.Report

  3. Avatar Mike Schilling says:

    “Of course they’re not real explosives! If they were real, then when I pulled this cord, they’d”Report

  4. Avatar Jaybird says:

    What does “Al-Qaeda” stand for?

    Allah! Let’s Quickly Acquire Extra Dozen Apprentices!Report

  5. Avatar Glyph says:

    No Student Left Behind.

    It’s funny, because previously this instructor and his class had generally gotten glowing reviews. “The bomb!”, one called him, referring to the instructor’s revolutionary effect on the students’ thought processes as “mind-blowing; incendiary.”

    Of course, there were always those students who couldn’t hack it, and flamed out early.

    Grading scale:

    A – AAAAAHHH
    B – BOOM
    C – Crater
    D – Dyn-o-mite!
    F – Fish me, I just blew up the classroom and all my students

    On the plus side, if the teacher doesn’t blow up within 15 minutes of the class’ start time, the students are legally free to leave. Fact.Report

  6. Avatar ScarletNumbers says:

    Do they still get the 72 virgins?

    If so, is it 72 each or 72 to share?

    #confusedReport

  7. Avatar Will Truman says:

    My second favorite inappropriate joke: “His last words were ‘Now pay attention because I’m only going to do this once…'”

    My favorite inappropriate joke: “They passed with flying colors. Especially red.”Report