Economic War on Christmas

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Kazzy

One man. Two boys. Twelve kids.

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38 Responses

  1. Avatar Mad Rocket Scientist
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    says:

    Brilliant!Report

  2. Avatar rmtodd
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    says:

    Heh. Something very like that — government officials being suspicious of a strange man in red showing up handing out gifts and concered over the possible economic effects of same — is a plot point in what may be my favorite Christmas story ever, Lawrence Watt-Evans “The God In Red”, available online at this place. Probably helps if you’re a fan of LWE’s Ethshar novels, though.Report

  3. Avatar Burt Likko
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    says:

    Natasha has been indulging in cheesy Christmas movies. Not just on the Lifetime channel, we’re talking about the Hallmark channel, these are so wholesome and heartwarming. (Some nights I come home from work afraid that I will find her in a diabetic coma, these movies are so sweet.) So, I’ve learned that Santa Claus really helps attractive middle-aged white women, often single mothers, find True Love During the Holidays. The presents under the tree are quite beside the point.Report

  4. Avatar NewDealer
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    says:

    Boxing Day, man. Boxing Day.Report

  5. Avatar Tod Kelly
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    says:

    It does make me wonder about conservatives and Santa. As it is, I think the imaginary presents stand in for the ideal of being rewarded or punished by an all seeing judge based upon your annual morality and industry. So I think it works really well there.

    But if the presents were real, and people were getting things given to them without buying them with their own money, regardless of class and earned purchasing power? I wonder if it wouldn’t be view as some kind of pernicious socialism.Report

    • Avatar Jaybird in reply to Tod Kelly
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      says:

      Given that the best presents show up under the good trees on the good part of town and the crappy part of town gets presents that may as well have come from the dollar store, I don’t know that “socialism” applies.Report

      • Avatar Tod Kelly in reply to Jaybird
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        says:

        I am assuming that if Santa were real, this would not be the case.

        If it were the case, then I suddenly can imagine a very real, non-hyperbolic liberal War on Christmas.Report

      • Avatar Jaybird in reply to Jaybird
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        says:

        Well, if Santa were real, I imagine the “naughty” list would correlate to a vaguely recognizable ethical standard and so that people who deserve coal and/or switches would get coal and/or switches… and everyone would know (more or less) why they got them.

        One of the recurring problems would be a situation where one finds oneself explaining that Bush got coal/switches every year too, following a Christmas Day report from the White House.

        Or the issue of Nintendo (one of thousands of companies easily used as an example) asking about the source of those bootleg copies of Mario.Report

    • Avatar Glyph in reply to Tod Kelly
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      says:

      I think everybody would declare war on Santa. Like Tod says, the free handouts and communist-red outfit would get the Right on his case; the obesity, flying-reindeer carbon emissions (you have any idea how much methane those things put out, flying to every house in the world at that speed?) and forced child labor (sure, he call them “elves”, but we all know what’s up) would get the Left after him.

      It turns out the War on Santa is the only thing that can bring this fractured nation together.Report

  6. Avatar LeeEsq
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    says:

    If Santa was real, I’d working to unionize the elves and animal rights activists would by trying to ensure that his flying reindeer aren’t abused.Report

  7. Avatar Mike Schilling
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    says:

    Would presents made by unpaid North Pole labor be that different from presents mad by underpaid sweatshop labor? Either way, economists would tell us it’s a boon and the unemployed would disagree.Report

  8. Avatar Kazzy
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    says:

    If Santa were real, I assume WalMart et al. stays closed on Thanksgiving and maybe even Black Friday.

    I also assume seasonal workers are no more.Report

    • Avatar Jaybird in reply to Kazzy
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      says:

      It depends. Most folks I know who still do the tree/Christmas Morning thing have some percentage of “From X to Y” presents and “Santa” presents.

      I presume that the Santa presents would be replaced by this system, leaving the personal gifts untouched.

      (All the better for coal/switch issues.)Report

      • Avatar Kazzy in reply to Jaybird
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        says:

        Using only my family (and my overindulgent mother) Santa was a good 2/3 of the gifts. There were 4 of us kids… Not sure how the math breaks down the permutations as to whether that means more or less Sanat gifts per capita.Report

      • Avatar Kazzy in reply to Jaybird
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        says:

        But that calls into question Santa’s rules…

        Only Christians under X years old?
        Only Christians who believe?
        All children?

        Does Santa run the risk of being labeled an anti-semite? Do people have a right to Santa’s gifts?Report

      • Avatar J@m3z Aitch in reply to Jaybird
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        says:

        Does Santa run the risk of being labeled an anti-semite?

        Isn’t that a prerequisite for Catholic sainthood?Report

  9. Avatar Stillwater
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    says:

    Were it such that Santa was real and really did magically fill houses with gifts, what would the economic impact be?

    Dunno, but we’d have some really solid evidence of which people were naughty.Report

  10. Avatar J@m3z Aitch
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    says:

    Setting aside that getting stuff free is a boon to consumers, if Ssnta only gave presents to those who are good, I’m sure the economic impact would be minimal.Report

  11. Avatar Kolohe
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    says:

    Regulate Santa? Santa has a pervasive, omniscient surveillance system and detailed intelligence database on the citizens of the Earth. Santa is is part of the military industrial complex and a tool of the of the corporations. Santa *is* regulatory capture.

    Regulate Santa? The State of New York tried that once, but the Truman Administration intervened. He is protected at the *highest* levels.

    Regulate Santa? In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Santa lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue.Report

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