Fantasy Football Week In Review: Week 9

Charges Leveled against the Levellers by Thunderlips!!
Thunderlips Expressed concern over the Leveller’s stay at a local Hilton, charging that a Johnson was Witten all over the walls 57 times! Coach Dman was stunned to find out that he had solid performances from five players and scored the third most points for the week, yet fell to the late night heroics of Andre Johnson and T.Y. Hilton. This gave the Leveller the Peak of the Week. Tu Nosi caught up to the dazed coach.
Tu: {Smirk} Wow, what a loss that was coach.
Dman: Wha…what happened? Am I in the Twilight Zone?
Tu: No, though you are in the loser zone this week.
Dman: I do not get it. I was up 40 plus points at the end of the afternoon game… then the Tales from the Darkside happened and, POOF, I was losing by 50……
Tu: You should not have been so cocky; he had two number one receivers to go and two teams with underperforming defenses. You should have known this could happen.
Dman: Dman it, Tu! I have had about enough of your Monday morning quarterbacking.
Tu: Just stating the facts… coach and it is still Sunday.
Dman: Shut up, Tu!

Sneak of the Week
Fostering doubts about the ex-Zack ability of Stacy. The Intangibles scorned the 36 points from the running back and rocked the donut with Adrian Foster. Still, Brandon Marshalled up 26 points leading the way for a 34 point break out from Aaron Dobson. While Pooh Bear dumped points with four players scoring well below what was expected. This gave the Scorned Intangibles another unexpected win. Tu was able to talk to Coach Jaybird after the win.
Tu:{groan} Another shocking win Coach and Tebow nowhere on the bench or playing. Can we finally put to rest this fixation you have with him?
Jaybird: He’s still the team captain. He’s just being the team captain from a little bit farther away.
Tu: Well, without getting into that, we admit to being shocked that you went from being 12 point underdogs before the first whistle on Thursday to being up by 34 points at the end of Monday Night.
Jaybird: Well, we had a lot of trials and tribulations and byes and injuries. At times like that you need someone who can not only raise your own sense of confidence but depress the opposition.
Tu: So you’re not merely being helped by Tebow not even being on your team, other teams are being harmed?
Jaybird: All of us are among Tebow. Those who wish his help can call upon it. Those who wish to forego it can look forward to games like this one.
Tu: How does that explain your 5-4 record?
Jaybird: How does it *NOT* explain it?
Tu: …I don’t even know what we’re talking about anymore.

Reek and Weak of the Week
The spirit of Tebow continues to haunt the league as the Prosecutors filed a Malicious tort against the Tryhards for continuing to hardly try. This week the Tryhards doubled down on the Nine, Ten, Eleven offensive strategy (in both senses of the word) and played only five players. Unfortunately, this lead to them receiving the Weak of the Week. Still, the Prosecutors had poor play from five players and scored the third lowest points for the week.

Freak of the Week
WhowouldJesesDraft had another Holy cow! Trinity of players this week led by the Montster seven touchdown performance of Nick Foles. Add to this the Merciless beating that took Aaron Rogers out of the game and you have the 68 point blown out as the Freak of the Week.

The Oracle Update:
The Oracle loses two more teams this week as Jesus shines and gains a win above what was predicted and the Uninitiated are admitted into the home of the blues. The Oracle is also close to singing the blues with three teams about to break the predictions.
The Tryhards: 9W – -5L aka: Rocking the Donut
Acme Packers: 3W – 1L
WhoWouldJesusDraft?: -1W – 5L
Team Pooh Bear: 6W – -2L aka: The Fallen
Partisan Warrior’s: 4W – 1L – -1T
Brian’s Best Team: 3W – 1L aka: The New Anointed Ones
Reba Demartino: 1W – 3L aka: Gin-soaked Dreamers
DownSouth Dragons: 2W – 2L
The Uninitiated: 5W – -1L
MaliciousProsecutors: 0W – 4L
Merciless Monsters: 3W – 1L
Scorned Intangibles: 0W – 4L
Thunderlips Express: 0W – 4L
The Levellers: 4W – 1L – -1T
Team Sandcastle: -2W – 6L
The Nine Ten Eleven: -3W – 7L aka: Read Between the Lines