Fantasy Football Week In Review: Week 6

Express Delivery of Acme Package Lost by Thunderlips!!

Thunderlips Express loses their third game as Dez Bryant, Eric Decker, and Phillip Rivers all under perform. The door was open for a little while when Adrian Peterson had a poor showing, but who could expect more after the terrible tragedy that occurred with his son. The only real stand outs on either team were Nelson and Green. Tu caught up with Coach Dman after the game.

Tu: Tough loss coach. Quite a few underperforming players this week.

Dman: Yes, I only received more points from Green and Moore. Hopefully this means Green is out of his funk and on to greener pastures.

Tu: You can hope, but aren’t you worried that the only scorers you have on your team are the wide receivers. If two out of three underperform, you lose games.

Dman: Not true, doubting Thomas! Both Rivers and Thomas have pulled games out for me.

Tu: Only games that you won handily to begin with.

Dman: You will not even give me an inch…

Freak of the Week

In a Holy cow! Trinity, this week had a three way tie for the biggest blow out. Scorned by the draft review, Jesus went DownSouth to look for Intangibles so that all three teams could roar like Dragons this week. Levelled Monsters Soaked in Gin were Mercilessly beaten down, but none scored the Reek of the Week.  Tu talked with Coach Jaybird after his win.

Tu: Good win Coach. Your team has been on a real roller coaster ride this season.

Jaybird: It’s kind of like bowling, I’ve found. Sometimes you do really well and your opponent just happens to do better. Sometimes you do poorly but luck out because your opponent went to the bathroom and had his kid bowl half of his frames for him. The important thing is to make sure your tenth frame isn’t open.

Tu: While you almost started to make sense to me for a second, you lost me there at the end. Tenth frame?

Jaybird: Tim Tebow.

Tu: I suppose I should have seen that coming.

Jaybird: In order to pack a few extra points into your game, you have to make sure that your tenth frame has a strike or a spare. Tebow is our team’s spare.

Tu: I don’t even know how that would work.

Jaybird: You don’t have to. You only have to look at the scoreboard.

Tu: I have reached the point where I don’t have a sputter in me.

Jaybird: Keep going.

Reek of the Week

Brian’s Best Team was a bust this week as all but two players (the kicker and one player that was expected to score zero points!) scored below their expected totals, most well below. This was highlighted by Jimmy Graham getting injured before making even one catch. The most unimpressive thing about this low score is that multiple teams (Merciless Monsters, gin-soaked dreamers, and The Tryhards) all tried the new strategy Nine Ten Eleven used last week in their win and did not field a complete team. Yet still those teams scored more points than Brian’s Bust Team.

The Oracle Update:
As the new trend of offensive impotence floods through the league, more and more teams are deciding that less is more. Sadly, this is putting a damper in the Oracles predictions. The Oracle is about to lose two more teams
The Tryhards: 9W – -2L aka: Rocking the Donut
Acme Packers: 4W – 3L
WhoWouldJesusDraft?: 0W – 7L
Team Pooh Bear: 7W – 0L aka: The Anointed Ones
Partisan Warrior’s: 7W – 3L – -1T
Brian’s Best Team: 6W – 1L
Reba Demartino: 3W – 4L aka: Gin-soaked Dreamers
DownSouth Dragons: 3W – 4L
The Uninitiated: 6W – 1L
MaliciousProsecutors: 2W – 5L
Merciless Monsters: 4W – 3L
Scorned Intangibles: 2W – 5L
Thunderlips Express: 2W – 5L
The Levellers: 5W – 3L – -1T
Team Sandcastle: 0W – 7L
The Nine Ten Eleven: -1W – 8L aka: Flipping the Bird

Peek of the Week – Most may have noticed the lack of Expert opinions this week. The LOOG Week in Review would like to let you know that we are in the process of moving the Expert opinion to Guadalajara. Not to fear though! These new Experts will be highly trained and the reader will not even notice the difference. The Expert will be back next week.