In Which I Go to the Spa

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Rose Woodhouse

Elizabeth Picciuto was born and reared on Long Island, and, as was the custom for the time and place, got a PhD in philosophy. She freelances, mainly about disability, but once in a while about yeti. Mother to three children, one of whom is disabled, two of whom have brown eyes, three of whom are reasonable cute, you do not want to get her started talking about gardening.

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40 Responses

  1. Avatar Vikram Bath says:

    any industry other than the beauty industry that makes greater claims of efficacy with less evidence

    Might I interest you in some management literature? Pay particular attention to the autobiographies.Report

  2. Avatar greginak says:

    Olive Oil and Salt rub? I would have gone with the lemon and added plenty of garlic, some red pepper and some oregano i think. I’d probably sauté the chicken then. I already have some good roasted sweet potatoes at home for a side.Report

    • Avatar Rose Woodhouse says:

      @greginak I had the same thought. It felt just a little like I was in a Looney Tunes cartoon.Report

    • Avatar Troublesome Frog says:

      I think there’s a scene that repeats itself over and over again in the beauty industry:

      Chemistry team: Hey, we just created a great new shampoo compound that makes your hair look great. Jimmy spent all night in the lab getting it just right. It’s a major breakthrough.
      Marketing team: Can you dump some sort of food product into it? Like some coconut milk or pan drippings from a rack of lamb?Report

    • Avatar Reformed Republican says:

      It’s like the sort of thing you would find in “To Serve Man.”Report

  3. Avatar Glyph says:

    This is wonderfully written, Ms. Woodhouse.

    Though I’m a lemon-water guy, myself. A cucumber’s just a lazy pickle.Report

  4. This was easily the most enjoyable thing I have read online in a long, long time.Report

    • Avatar Mike Schilling says:

      Have you two ever done a piece that’s a dialogue? Readers would plotz.Report

      • We did a serious one about Jenny McCarthy not so long ago. We haven’t done a humorous one.Report

      • Avatar Kazzy says:

        Perhaps the two of you should tackle game 1 of the WS.Report

      • Avatar Rose Woodhouse says:

        I’m in. Russell, think of something funny.Report

      • Waddya think, Rose? Would WS game 1 yield sufficient fodder?

        [Edited to add: I should probably reconsider that, actually. I legit need to be studying too much between now and the end of the month to spend an evening watching a baseball game. Other ideas?]Report

      • Avatar Rose Woodhouse says:

        I too have to work, although it probably would have been funny given that it took me a couple of minutes to figure out what WS Game 1 was.

        I’d still make time, however, for that. Or any other ideas. Let’s keep discussing this in a public forum, because everyone is interested in our brainstorming.Report

      • Avatar Kazzy says:

        I’m actually quite impressed Russ picked up on what it meant so quickly.

        I’d like anything sports related… the more “inside baseball”, the better. E.g., “What is your take on the long-term viability of the read-option offense in the NFL and what, if anything, would you do to game plan against it?”

        I also wouldn’t object to y’all doing some sort of “Who wore it best?” Super-double-bonus points if the judged are OT-ers solicited to wear and photograph themselves in similar outfits.Report

  5. Avatar zic says:

    Nice, Rose. I’m delighted someone gave you such a thoughtful gift. It the world’s ending, one might as well go out in happiness such as this.

    Salt scrub is good. Helps balance the micro-climates of your skin.

    Salt soaks, too. Awesome way to absorb magnesium.

    Recommended for humans, no matter where they reside on the gender spectrum.

    And I’ll take my water with a black cherry, please. Perhaps a shot of elderberry concentrate.Report

  6. Nob Akimoto Nob Akimoto says:

    I feel prettier just reading this.

    One of the things that sucks about being a poor student is not being able to groom as fastidiously as one might like. Like the whole barber shop shaves, proper haircut, and all that stuff? No dice.Report

    • Avatar zic says:

      You certainly look prettier. 🙂Report

    • Avatar Kazzy says:

      Groom…ing…? You mean that thing you(‘re supposed to) do after you poop?Report

    • Avatar just me says:

      I was lucky that the technical college I went to had a great spa. Was nice to be able to get a mani, facial, and hair cut for $20. Granted the student who did my mani was shall we say not cut out for putting on nail polish but she gave a fantabulous facial. All in all they do a pretty good job.Report

  7. Avatar Damon says:

    Being a guy, and only being experinced in massages vs salt rubs, and all that other jazz, I can indeed say that spending an hour getting a massage, whether i’m drifing off to sleep, talking with the attendant, or doing nothing, is a very pleasant experience. Gratz and a nice day.Report

  8. Avatar Fish says:

    When my lovely wife and I both worked for companies who were small enough and successful enough that they could afford to take us all on a company trip, we’d take the money that would normally have been spent on lodging and spend it on a spa day. If I never get another facial again it’ll be too soon, but I’ll take all the massages I can get. And to this day, my most memorable spa day moment is finding myself naked in the spa’s hot tub with the CEO of my wife’s company.Report

  9. Avatar Patrick says:

    After all, I have so much trouble with mindfulness that I once ordered a book on how to attain it called Mindfulness. I discovered soon after its arrival that I had already ordered the book several months before and forgotten about it.

    Everything about that is super space awesome.Report

  10. Avatar J@m3z Aitch says:

    For my upcoming birthday of an age greater than which cannot be conceived

    Happy 29th, Rose!Report

  11. Avatar Miss Mary says:

    You’re hilarious, Rose. I like orange or lime in my water. I feel overdue for a trip to the spa…Report