In Which I Go to the Spa

Rose Woodhouse

Elizabeth Picciuto was born and reared on Long Island, and, as was the custom for the time and place, got a PhD in philosophy. She freelances, mainly about disability, but once in a while about yeti. Mother to three children, one of whom is disabled, two of whom have brown eyes, three of whom are reasonable cute, you do not want to get her started talking about gardening.

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40 Responses

  1. Vikram Bath says:

    any industry other than the beauty industry that makes greater claims of efficacy with less evidence

    Might I interest you in some management literature? Pay particular attention to the autobiographies.Report

  2. greginak says:

    Olive Oil and Salt rub? I would have gone with the lemon and added plenty of garlic, some red pepper and some oregano i think. I’d probably sauté the chicken then. I already have some good roasted sweet potatoes at home for a side.Report

    • Rose Woodhouse in reply to greginak says:

      @greginak I had the same thought. It felt just a little like I was in a Looney Tunes cartoon.Report

    • Troublesome Frog in reply to greginak says:

      I think there’s a scene that repeats itself over and over again in the beauty industry:

      Chemistry team: Hey, we just created a great new shampoo compound that makes your hair look great. Jimmy spent all night in the lab getting it just right. It’s a major breakthrough.
      Marketing team: Can you dump some sort of food product into it? Like some coconut milk or pan drippings from a rack of lamb?Report

    • Reformed Republican in reply to greginak says:

      It’s like the sort of thing you would find in “To Serve Man.”Report

  3. Glyph says:

    This is wonderfully written, Ms. Woodhouse.

    Though I’m a lemon-water guy, myself. A cucumber’s just a lazy pickle.Report

  4. This was easily the most enjoyable thing I have read online in a long, long time.Report

  5. zic says:

    Nice, Rose. I’m delighted someone gave you such a thoughtful gift. It the world’s ending, one might as well go out in happiness such as this.

    Salt scrub is good. Helps balance the micro-climates of your skin.

    Salt soaks, too. Awesome way to absorb magnesium.

    Recommended for humans, no matter where they reside on the gender spectrum.

    And I’ll take my water with a black cherry, please. Perhaps a shot of elderberry concentrate.Report

  6. Nob Akimoto says:

    I feel prettier just reading this.

    One of the things that sucks about being a poor student is not being able to groom as fastidiously as one might like. Like the whole barber shop shaves, proper haircut, and all that stuff? No dice.Report

  7. Damon says:

    Being a guy, and only being experinced in massages vs salt rubs, and all that other jazz, I can indeed say that spending an hour getting a massage, whether i’m drifing off to sleep, talking with the attendant, or doing nothing, is a very pleasant experience. Gratz and a nice day.Report

  8. Fish says:

    When my lovely wife and I both worked for companies who were small enough and successful enough that they could afford to take us all on a company trip, we’d take the money that would normally have been spent on lodging and spend it on a spa day. If I never get another facial again it’ll be too soon, but I’ll take all the massages I can get. And to this day, my most memorable spa day moment is finding myself naked in the spa’s hot tub with the CEO of my wife’s company.Report

  9. Patrick says:

    After all, I have so much trouble with mindfulness that I once ordered a book on how to attain it called Mindfulness. I discovered soon after its arrival that I had already ordered the book several months before and forgotten about it.

    Everything about that is super space awesome.Report

  10. J@m3z Aitch says:

    For my upcoming birthday of an age greater than which cannot be conceived

    Happy 29th, Rose!Report

  11. Miss Mary says:

    You’re hilarious, Rose. I like orange or lime in my water. I feel overdue for a trip to the spa…Report