Q: When I do the dishes, my spouse will unload the dishwasher after I’ve loaded it, and then re-stack it in a way different than I did. Sometimes my spouse even hovers behind me in sputtering frustration when I load the dishwasher. How important is learning the dish stacking technique my spouse is using?
A: That depends on what you’re trying to accomplish.
If you’re trying to get clean dishes, then pretty much any way that…
a) scrapes off all the big bits of dead food before the dishes go in,
b) allows for the inflow and outflow of water and air,
c) doesn’t expose delicate objects to the highest heat points, and
d) uses soap appropriate for your machine;
…will in all likelihood be just fine. Your dishes will be clean after running the dishwasher.
But, if you’re trying to prolong the longevity of your marriage, then it’s virtually certain from your spouse’s behavior that you’ve stacked the dishes incorrectly and that your technique is irredeemable. You should allow your spouse to fix your mistake for you, and sheepishly admit your inadequacies, because you obviously don’t know what the hell you’re doing.