Parenting: The Game (Introduction)

(Welcome to Parenting: The Game!  This will be an off-again, on-again series that allows those of us traversing the world of parenting to explore, discuss, vent, and otherwise share our experiences.  This series is open to all… co-bloggers may add as they see fit and commenters can submit guest posts via email to brianjkoscuiszka – at – g – mail – dot – com.  Though I will be playing the game from the start, others are welcome to jump in where ever they might find themselves within the game’s internal timeline.  Enjoy!)

Objective: Parenting: The Game challenges players to care for a child and see it through to adulthood.

End Game: Depending on the difficulty level, there are various end game scenarios that result in victory, ranging from the “Chris Rock victory”, accomplished by keeping your child off the pole (easiest) to the “Ann Dunham victory”, accomplished by playing as a single player and raising your child to be the first black President (hardest).

Playable Characters:  Players may play as the Mother, Father, Step-Mother, or Step-Father.  Multi-player action allows for any configuration of these characters into a Parenting Team.  Please note that the use of the word “team” does not indicate any guarantee of teamwork beyond what the players themselves bring to the table.  Also note that the game’s online capability means that playing location is tracked and recording, meaning certain player configurations can results in additional obstacles due to unjust local laws and/or social stigma.  Bonus points are awarded to players under these circumstances.

Non-playable Characters: Non-playable characters include but are not limited to Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents (including In-Laws), Friends, Teachers, Neighbors, Classmates, and Zombies.  Players will need to interact with these characters across a variety of circumstances to accomplish their missions.  Note that there is no hard or fast rules on which of these characters will be good or bad and most will occupy both roles, sometimes simultaneously.  Points will be deducted for murdering any (though In-Law murders result in the smallest penalty).

Environment: Parenting: The Game takes place in an Earth-like environment.  Climate, gravity, and technology are all roughly equivalent to what the player would find around him/her in real life.  With one exception: zombies.  There are zombies.  Not many.  So few you might never encounter them.  Most people live their lives unaware or unconcerned with their presence.  But they are there.  Somewhere.

[Press *START* to continue]

Please choose your character(s) and assign their characteristics…