“Of course, one man’s sexual assault is another man’s sexual fantasy come true.”

Jonathan McLeod

Jonathan McLeod is a writer living in Ottawa, Ontario. (That means Canada.) He spends too much time following local politics and writing about zoning issues. Follow him on Twitter.

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19 Responses

  1. MBunge says:

    I’m not sure where you’re getting any irony or mockery from that piece. It seemed to be a pretty straightforward rumination on how the now standard lack of details that are released in sexual assault cases make it hard for the public to determine what the heck actually happened.


    • Jonathan McLeod in reply to MBunge says:

      Hi Mike. On that particular point, Ms. DiManno has a bit of a point, but that doesn’t seem like the main thrust of her column. Here’s how she starts:

      “They could be sex molls or sex maulers.

      Definitely on the chubby side, though: described as around 190 to 200 pounds and five-foot-four.

      Last seen teetering around in high heels and short black dresses — typical clubbing attire — their estimated age 30 to 36, so not cougars on the prowl.”

      She continues:

      “Of course, one man’s sexual assault is another man’s sexual fantasy come true.

      Around the assignment desk at this paper Monday, there were both chortles and priggish warnings not to play snide or mischievous with the slim facts as we know them. Mustn’t be seen to make light of an alleged sexual crime simply because the victim is a male, which would be reverse sexism and a double standard — men’s rights groups the first to pounce, no doubt — despite the obvious snickering quotient.

      Sexual assault, you say? Lucky guy others say, nudge-nudge, a fivesome and didn’t even have to pay for it.”


      “Some “assaults’’ are merely unwanted touching…”

      And she ends with:

      “These clubbing vamps are a bizarre anomaly, pack hunters in their getaway SUV — Thelma and Louise and Tiffany and Debi, four white chicks who may have gang-groped or otherwise molested a teenager because they didn’t have the balls to pick on, or pick up, a man their own age.

      Wanted: Bad girls in black minidresses and stilettos, approach with caution.”

      If you take her writing at face value, she’s clearly making light of the reported crime. I hope she’s not doing that.Report

      • Miss Mary in reply to Jonathan McLeod says:

        She also says, “Sexual assault is no laughing matter — I’m writing this column with a straight face -“, so who knows. Her writing isn’t really clear, is it? Perhaps she has yet to make up her mind.Report

      • DavidTC in reply to Jonathan McLeod says:

        “Some “assaults’’ are merely unwanted touching…”

        Aren’t almost _all_ assaults, and all sexual assaults, ‘merely’ unwanted touching in certain, specific ways? (1)

        ‘Hey, all that guy did was touch the inside of her vagina with his penis! What’s all this nonsense about sexual assault?’

        What an idiotic statement.

        1) I almost said ‘all’ assaults. But technically shooting someone is not ‘touching’ them, but is assault. But sexual assault pretty much requires touching.(2)

        2) Yes, people can sexual assault others with an object they’re holding, such as broomsticks. However, someone touching an object they’re holding to someone else does counts as ‘touching them’, as decided by the court in Sister in Car Backseat v. Brother in Car Backseat.Report

        • Morat20 in reply to DavidTC says:

          I once — as part of my job as a scrawny teen working for the city’s parks and recs department — had to handle a fistfight in the hallway between kids. It ended in a ticket. The ticket was for, basically, “unwanted contact” — ie, assault without causing harm.Report

    • DRS in reply to MBunge says:

      I agree with Mike. She’s describing the situation with a markedly objective tone – both others’ reactions and her own comprehension – without much given away in terms of her own opinions. Very untypical, I must add, for RdM.Report

  2. Damon says:

    “If you take her writing at face value, she’s clearly making light of the reported crime. I hope she’s not doing that.”

    Oh, she’s making light of it…big time. This is the part where I get all cheesed off because if the scenario had been fully reversed…4 guys vs 1 girl, and a male reporter making light of the story, there would be RECRIMINATIONS ALL OVER TEH INTERWEBS. Slate/Huffpo/Jezebel would be all over this.

    It just illuminates the hypocrisy well.Report

  3. LeeEsq says:

    There are several cultural assumptions that go into the logic that men can not be the victim of sexual assault from women. The first is that men are really eager for sex and would never look down any sexual advance from a woman or women. The other is that men simply have more physical power and social status than women so can never really be physically let alone sexually assaulted by them.

    We see this dynamic in play in a lot in media that depicts teacher-student relationships. When its a male teacher and female student, not only is the teacher more or not the instigator but the female student is nearly always viewed as a victim in some way. When its a female teacher, male student the male student is rarely if ever portrayed as a victim. Often its the male student that seduces the teacher in the first place.Report

    • Miss Mary in reply to LeeEsq says:

      It could be that it is more typical that men take the more aggressive (for lack of a better word) role in a sexual relationship. It would be difficult to deny, in our culture at least, that men are more traditionally the one to pursue a sexual relationship with women. I’m not saying that women don’t take an aggressive role ever, I’m just saying that it is more common to hear stories of women being in a submissive role because it is a cultural norm.Report

      • I don’t think LeeEsq is denying that. He’s just saying that in situations, which probably are much rarer, where men are the victims at the hands of women, then the male victims are less likely to be treated as victims by the media. At least that’s how I read him.Report

  4. DRS says:

    You’ve managed to insult both the Toronto Star and the Toronto Sun in one post. That’s talent, that is.Report

  5. Alan Scott says:

    Apparently she makes a habit of belittling rape victims.Report