Simpson Mayonnaise* Kazzy. A healthy baby boy. Mom and baby are are healthy. Dad is terrified. All are well.
* His pseudonym could have gone either way. Somehow I failed to realize that Mayonnaise was the far superior option until I said it out loud. Mayonnaise it is.
Kazzy
One man. Two boys. Twelve kids.
We have been experiencing some system resource issues. We believe the problem may be resolved, but if it is not please bear with us.
on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024If the change can fairly be described as "Openly opposed to Trump" then it exemplifies the problem f…
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on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024According to Mr. Berliner, he kept trying to get management to do what he wanted. They didn't. Thus…
on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024"Pitched a tantrum," of course, being the third-ideology conjugation of "spoke truth to power." on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024The Essay.
on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024Soon to be the journalism dept. chair at the University of Austin. on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024Was the essay the tantrum or is quitting after getting five days unpaid leave the tantrum?
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on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024 on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024
on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024 on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024 on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024 on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024 on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024 on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024 on The Zinky Boys: Russia in Afghanistan and Ukraine on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024 on The Statistical Side of Immigration on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024 on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024
on Open Mic for the week of 4/15/2024 on The Statistical Side of Immigration
THIS POST IS O.G., DUDE!
Congratulations to Zazzy and Kazzy! And welcome, Simpson! It’s not so bad out here but for now get lots of sleep and love.Report
Congratulations!Report
I noticed you seemed MIA and wondered if it was “time”. Congrats dude!Report
TO THE GARDEN THE WORLD
TO the garden the world anew ascending,
Potent mates, daughters, sons, preluding,
The love, the life of their bodies, meaning and being,
Curious here behold my resurrection after slumber,
The revolving cycles in their wide sweep having brought me again,
Amorous, mature, all beautiful to me, all wondrous,
My limbs and the quivering fire that ever plays through them, for
reasons, most wondrous,
Existing I peer and penetrate still,
Content with the present, content with the past,
By my side or back of me Eve following,
Or in front, and I following her just the same.Report
WOOHOO!Report
Congrats! You’re going to be an awesome dad.Report
Congrats, Kazzy!Report
Let the change be with you.Report
Wow, congratulations. I remember what it was like. I was terrified too.Report
I am so very delighted for you. (And you know how to reach me for free pediatric advice.)Report
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAReport
What do they call a blog-uncle? A buncle?Report
I think we should resurrect “nuncle” for that purpose.Report
First off, a blog-uncle would obviously be a bluncle.
But I’ve been using “fruncle” for friend-uncle for a while. And I see increasingly little reason to segregate blog friends and real life friends. Hell, I actually just became FB friends with one of my co-bloggers over this very topic!Report
Congratulations! Now I’m going to go worry about the future of the world now that we know Kazzy has bred.Report
Just saw this now. Well played, Nob. Especially given that I had the exact same response.Report
Congrats to you and Zazzy!Report
Yay! Congrats!Report
Coolness, congrats! And don’t be terrified. I’m confident you’ll be a fantastic father.Report
Am I thinking about it too much/ruining the moment when the nurses’ saying, “OOOH, one of the few boys on the unit… lots of girls for him to date here today,” makes me want to scream, “HE’LL DATE WHOMEVER HE DAMN WELL PLEASES”?Report
I know that feel, bro. We got a bib that said “Lock up your daughters!”, and I had all of the possible negative reactions.Report
A ton of well-meaning things that you’ve probably said yourself to somebody’s kid? You’re going to hear a lot of them with a different ear.Report
And, of course, thanks everyone! We’re very excited and very happy and I can’t wait to teach him the torture of rooting for two terrible sports franchises while living in both teams’ enemy territory.Report
WooHoo! I can speak for both Hanleys by saying congrats and welcome to parenthood!Report
Congrats!Report
Congratulations, Kazzy and Zazzy and Mayonnaise! Delighted for all three of you.Report
Grats to you both! I’m delighted for you and I’m especially delighted it’s you and not me. I, meanwhile, shall be getting a lot of sleep. I hope that knowledge will lend you great comfort in those long dark nights to come.Report
Hope Zazzy and baby Mayonnaise are happy and resting up from the big event and congratulations Papa Kazzy!Report
Mazal tov.Report
many congratulations!Report
Congrats, friend! If you want to commiserate over our lack of sleep at 3am, do please let me know. 🙂Report
How close are you, my friend?Report
Well, DC, so not very. But there’s always the internet!Report
Heh, sorry, I meant to the due date. Or have you already arrived and somehow I missed it?!?!?!Report
Oh, yeah, sorry. The boy arrived March 8. I didn’t post about it here for whatever reason, and now it feels like I’ve missed the window. He’s all over facebook, though, if you want to see him.Report
Man, not even a month and he set up a Facebook page for himself? Kids these days and their social media.Report
Some folks asked for pics on Facebook, which Zazzy isn’t comfortable with, so I dodged that bullet with the following:
“Mayonnaise is more of a MySpace guy… loud noises, bright colors, and awkward nudity.”Report
That joke wins the day.Report
I vaguely remember us announcing around the same time about the pregnancies but never saw an update. CONGRATS, BRO!!! I thought you seemed less active here so I perhaps should have connected the dots. I will surely be leaning on you and Will as blogging compatriots who are just a few steps farther down the road than I but close enough to holler back about the potholes.Report
Yeah, it’s actually a devastating combo of my job becoming considerably more busy and a baby being born. I also just got totally exhausted by the election. Maybe I’ll jump back in soonish.Report
Congratulations to you then, too!Report
COngrats to you guys, too!Report
Wow, congrats! How amazing is that?!Report
Congratulations! We look forward to your next blog post in 18 years when you have some free time.Report
You kidding me? Zazzy is sleeping with the baby, who himself is sleeping, and I’m sequestered in the room with WiFi. I’ll be more active today than any other day of the year.
Wait… ONE of them is crying… shit…Report
As they say, enjoy it while you can. For me, the few weeks weren’t really that sapping. So much during that time is dependent on the mother, and there is so much sleep. I kind of had to wait to get involved.Report
Yeah, joking aside, it really is not bad if you are
1)organized
2)efficient
3)do not believe that he needs to be entertained by a parent every moment that he is awakeReport
Are you kidding me? I teach four-year-olds. I make a living by not entertaining children.Report
That dawned on my after posting. “Oh yeah, Kazzy is the one with the awesome teaching posts!”
It sounds like you should make a damn fine parent.Report
Thank you, good sir, and to all the rest for the many well wishes and kind words!Report
This is awesome.Report
Heh… I originally meant my statement as, “I recognize that leaving children to their own devices is one of the best methods for teaching them.”
I now see it could just as easily be read as, “I teach children, ergo I am unentertaining to them.”Report
Speaking of which, I’m about ready to start pushing that Google Doc into shape.Report
Awsome man. Just awesome.Report
Congratulations. Sleeping is over-rated, anyway.Report
Congrats, Kazzy!Report
Kazzy, women like to hear details. How it went, size of baby, if things went as you expected or surprised you. Not much is necessary, but a little.
If you don’t mind, and when you have time.
(And I think men like those details, too.)
Mayo. I’ll take a Zazzy Kazzy with Mayo.
Blessings.Report
Hey Zic,
I’ve already said as much on the blog as Zazzy will allow me. She is much more private than I when it comes to the internet. And seeing as how the kid is half hers, I feel the need to respect this wish. Even though I think it nigh impossible for you to somehow determine who I* or my kid is based on height on weight, she drew the line there.
I will say that he is long and lean; above average length, below average weight. My sports fan friends who are making immediate comparisons to the NFL combine based on height/weight determined he is, at best, a WR, but far more likely to be a runner or maybe a swimmer.
He did have a cone head due to early attempts at escape but that already seems to be rounding into form. He’s not a cueball, but he could be a charter member of the Hair Club for Babies. He looks like dad… unfortunately. Though better that it be a he looking like dad than a she.Report
When my babies began getting over the cone head thing, they went through this disturbing period where they each looked like Charles Barkley.Report
I understand what all of those words mean… but I’m really struggling to make sense of “little army of baby Charles Barkleys” and “disturbing”…Report
Yes it was.
They’ve gone back to cone heads; a genetic predisposition from the paternal side.Report
Congratulations Kazzy.Report
Mazel tov!!!!!!! Welcome to the club!Report
Mazel Tov!!!!!Report
Welcome, Mayonnaise!
Alice was a noisy sleeper, and it took about a week for me to stop checking her breathing and thereby waking her up over and over during the night. Jason and my mother teamed up and each told me to “Leave The Baby ALONE!”
Fun times!Report
Great to heat!Report
good for you.Report
Congrats, man.Report
Congratulations Kazzy!Report
Congratulations!
And more coffee.Report
Somehow I missed this earlier. Big congratulations to you and Kazzy on your little one! Savor every moment.Report
I don’t know why I didn’t notice this post earlier (it should be front pager), but congratulations!Report
Welcome to the happiest terror you will ever know!Report