Five Stuck-Up Coastal States That Aren’t All That (And The Five Coolest States You’ve Never Heard Of)!

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Will Truman

Will Truman is the Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. He is also on Twitter.

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59 Responses

  1. Avatar Conor P. Williams
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    says:

    THIS POST WAS O.G., DUDE!Report

  2. Avatar Dan Miller
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    says:

    DC doesn’t even want to be a state. We’re so over it, yo.Report

  3. Avatar Pinky
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    says:

    hey idiot- not only heard of all five iv’e been to nearly half of them also – look at that graphic you used this is supposed to be about states but you put pr virgin islands and hawaii on it -dummyReport

  4. Avatar Jaybird
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    says:

    Please remove Colorado from this list. There are too many people coming here. Please replace it with one of the other 48 states that no one has ever heard of.

    Why not Michigan? Detroit could use some Californians.Report

  5. Avatar Kazzy
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    says:

    What did Delaware? Idaho, Alaska.Report

  6. Avatar Mr. Blue
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    says:

    First!Report

  7. Avatar Chris
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    says:

    Re #6: As the great philosopher once said, “Thinging, things are things.” I don’t think I need to say any more. I’d link to the quote, but naming, comments are spam.Report

  8. Avatar Michelle
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    says:

    Awesome post!

    I’ve been to all five of your coolest states, and four of the overrated ones. Guess I need to put “visit Rhode Island” on my bucket list.Report

    • Avatar Michael Cain in reply to Michelle
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      says:

      I’ve actually been to all ten. Although I only ended up in Rhode Island because the guy driving the rental car made a wrong turn in Massachusetts. And I think we cut across the corner of Connecticut while getting back on track. Which struck me as somehow being very wrong; but I’m more used to states where you can drive at speed for eight or ten hours and still be in the same state.Report

    • Avatar Burt Likko in reply to Michelle
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      says:

      Let someone else do the driving. Rhode Island: come for the clam chowder, stay because some idiot backed out of his driveway into the “expressway” without looking and snapped your axle in half!Report

  9. Avatar zic
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    says:

    I can’t believe that my states’ not on the cool list.

    1. While we haven’t legalized it yet, we’ve some of the best medical laws and ess then 2.5 oz. is a misdemeanor.

    2. My brother and his partner legally wed here after 25 years.

    3. Crime. Not much. I can safely go out and walk around my town (unarmed) by myself at midnight. And most other towns here, too. I think there were 23 murders here last year, and that was up from the year before.

    4. Education. We’ve one of the highest HS graduation rates in the nation; some of the nations leading private Academies, Colby, Bates, Bowdoin, and U ME. Our public schools are also improving year by year.

    5. Clean; our pollution is non-point, from the mid-west mostly. There’s a serious attempt to move environmental regulation from being adversarial to cooperative; an effort to protect resources while fostering healthy business. And that forest up north? It absorbs more carbon each day then the Eastern seaboard of the US produces.

    6. Water. We’ve got it. Fresh, clean, pure; and we protect it.

    7. Food. Awesome farms, restaurants. Lobsters. Maple syrup. blueberries. Game.

    8. It’s beautiful here; mountains, forests, lakes, rivers, coast line. Recreation abounds. Winter sports — mountain sports, nordic, snowmobiling, ice fishing. Summer sports. swimming, hiking, fishing (includes lake, deep sea, and fly), hunting, foraging, canoe/kayaking. biking and mountain biking. Great summer camps for kids. Long tradition of Maine Guides to help people get the most out of their time visiting. And most important, a long tradition of public access to private land through most of the state (ocean frontage is the exception above the high-tide line, that’s rich folk from away posting their property no trespassing.) But the northern half of the state? That giant working forest up there? It’s mostly open, and you are free to wander to your hearts content, so long as you treat it with respect.

    9. traffic. We don’t really have much, except for Rt. 1 in Bath at the drawbridge near the Ironworks during shift change in the summer tourist season.

    10. Russel Saunders.Report

  10. Avatar carr1on
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    says:

    Texas doesn’t need your validation, Will. Harumph!Report

  11. Avatar Peter
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    says:

    Rhode Island’s a strangely underachieving state. It’s always been definite notch below its neighbors on most socioeconomic standards and its unemployment rate is generally among the country’s highest. Newport is nice, as are parts of Providence, and Rhode Island lacks the hardcore ghettos that Connecticut and Massachusetts are full of, yet the Ocean State is the perennial doormat of southern New England.Report

  12. Avatar Burt Likko
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    says:

    Will this “You-Taw” of which you speak — I’ve heard tale of a place called “You-Tahr” and wonder if it is the same. To hear tell, there is even an NBA team there.Report

  13. Avatar Miss Mary
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    says:

    Ha!, someone recently told me they want to take a vacation in Baker City, OR. My only thought “Why?!?!?!”Report

  14. Avatar North
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    says:

    Minnesota, or Little Canada as I affectionately call it, remains the best kept secret in the country.Report

    • Avatar Glyph in reply to North
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      says:

      The 19 months of winter each year will probably keep it that way.Report

      • Avatar North in reply to Glyph
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        says:

        Pah! Minnesotan winters are snuggle-bears, I love em! Sure they’re cold but at least they’re dry. In Nova Fishing Scotia the cold is damp, it crawls in through the window, up under your sweater and nestles in your lungs. Ice freezes over every surface and the living envy the dead. Minnesotan winters are like spearmint, clear, cold and refreshing. Three minutes in the warm and the Minnesotan cold outside is just a memory. Three minutes in the warm in NS and the prospect of actually getting warm is only a dim flickering hope.Report

        • Avatar Glyph in reply to North
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          says:

          It’s not the quality of it that gets me, it’s the duration.

          I visited Minneapolis for spring break once (yeah, I know) and I had an absolute blast. Didn’t bother driving anywhere, just parked the rental and walked and took the bus everywhere. My wife is from MN and sometimes we talk about moving there (her brother is still in Mpls).

          But someone once told me that you can get snow in any month with an “R” in it. I did the math and – “WHAT THE HELL?! EIGHT MONTHS?!” I’ll go as high as half the year; but more than that just seems bonkers.Report

          • Avatar Michael Cain in reply to Glyph
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            says:

            It’s not the quality of it that gets me, it’s the duration.

            Give them marks for consistency, though. While I’m generally very fond of the weather in Front Range Colorado (it appears that I was born to live in a high semi-arid climate), it took some time to get used to the fact that “What season are we supposed to have today?” is a reasonable thing to ask for much of the year. Even within a day, 35-40 degree swings from low to high are pretty normal. And it’s a given that, no matter what clothes/coat you put on in the morning, at some point you’ll be either over-dressed or under-dressed for the weather.Report

        • Avatar Glyph in reply to North
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          says:

          Also, we went here..

          From these reviews, it appears little has changed:

          http://www.yelp.com/biz/red-dragon-minneapolisReport

        • Avatar BlaiseP in reply to North
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          says:

          Drove into Eagan from Louisiana. Pushed off the interstate by a sliding truck which piled up 20 meters ahead of me, killing the driver. The maniacs who I’d told to winterise the engine clearly didn’t: the block froze no sooner than I’d pulled into the hotel. Trapped in Eagan, slipping down Yankee Doodle to work, getting the head reworked.

          If I ever spend another winter in Minnesota it will be too soon. I can deal with the cold. Driving in that bullshit, never again. Ever. Driving I-94 in the winter through St Paul to Minneapolis, well, any time of year it’s bad. But in winter, it’s just hell to drive.

          And everyone’s so full of false cheer about it, fake as a three dollar bill. “Brrrr! It’s just great!” Ya buddy, you betcha, you and the minks might find some joy in chewing the guts out of some starved deer’s frozen carcase in those hellish wastelands. Three minutes in the warm, heh. Three hours in a meter of snow, illuminated by the red and blue lights of a state trooper’s cruiser, will cure even the most enthusiastic of any delusions on this subject.Report

          • Avatar North in reply to BlaiseP
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            says:

            I said I enjoy living here BP.. I said nothing about driving here. Do you think I’m insane? No one in their right mind drives in Little Canada, the drivers are out of their minds*.

            *That includes my husband. Mad as a earwig hopped up on cough syrup when they’re behind the wheel, the whole lot of them.Report

    • Avatar Michelle in reply to North
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      says:

      My sister has lived in Minnesota for something like 20 years now, first in Minneapolis, now in Northfield. She loves it there.

      As near as I can tell, the only thing worse than Minnesota winters are Minnesota summers. Hot, excessively humid, and swarms of big-ass mosquitoes. Fall, however, is lovely.Report

      • Avatar North in reply to Michelle
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        says:

        That sounds plausible. I live in the urban core so no bugs here. I wouldn’t be surprised if the bugs in the country are vile. Coming from NS of course bugs are par for the course.

        But yes the summers can sometimes be brutal hot and humid.. the thing I love is that sweet pelasant spring weather can last from April to mid July and exquisite falls from early September to like, December…
        But in the city, always in the city.. country living is for.. well.. animals and people who like living in the country.. *shudders*Report

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