Everybody does this when they get a webcam

by Jaybird · November 2, 2012

Jaybird

Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to AskJaybird-at-gmail.com

Kyle Cupp
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November 2, 2012 at 6:36 pm
I laughed. I really did.Report
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Burt Likko
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November 2, 2012 at 7:29 pm
Why do they call them pirates?
Because that’s what they arrrrrrrrrrgh.Report
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- MikeSchilling in reply to Burt Likko
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  November 2, 2012 at 7:38 pm
  Why couldn’t the kids watch the pirate movie? It was rated arrrrrrrrrrgh.Report
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  - Nob Akimoto in reply to MikeSchilling
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    November 2, 2012 at 11:18 pm
    What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
    …
    ……
    His heart belongs to the C.Report
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Maribou
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November 2, 2012 at 9:36 pm
I am starting to understand why you were always telling me not to do odd things with the webcam on my laptop.Report
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Miss Mary
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November 2, 2012 at 10:45 pm
Could you post one of these every week, please?Report
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- Jaybird in reply to Miss Mary
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  November 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm
  We should… but that’s the only even vaguely appropriate joke I know.Report
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  - Stillwater in reply to Jaybird
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    November 4, 2012 at 3:43 pm
    Surely you jest. You children, right?
    Some bacon, eggs and a piece of toast walk into a bar and order some beers. The bartender shakes his head, smiling at them. “Look, I’m sorry, but we don’t serve breakfast here.”Report
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    - Jaybird in reply to Stillwater
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      November 4, 2012 at 3:56 pm
      Pardon: It’s the only even vaguely appropriate joke that is FUNNY that I know.
      There’s the hilarious joke about the priest, the rabbi, and the mormon tabernacle children’s choir but Maribou made me stop telling it.Report
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      - Stillwater in reply to Jaybird
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        November 4, 2012 at 4:01 pm
        Heh. Well, it is a lot funnier when told by an 8 year old. Something about the delivery, I guess.Report
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      - Stillwater in reply to Jaybird
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        November 4, 2012 at 4:04 pm
        Of course, now I’m curious. I mean, Maribou put the kibosh on it for a reason.Report
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        Mike Schilling in reply to Stillwater
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        November 6, 2012 at 10:50 am
        I’m guessing it’s because JB messes up the Swedish accent.Report
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Rufus F.
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November 3, 2012 at 11:45 am
Jay, I remember having a dream with you in it after hanging out here for a year, and in that you were a very sprite-like, hyperactive teenager. I finally saw what you looked like after you added me on Facebook and it was totally different, but exactly right.Report
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- Jaybird in reply to Rufus F.
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  November 3, 2012 at 6:35 pm
  I like to think of myself as a sexy Fred Thompson.Report
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- Glyph in reply to Rufus F.
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  November 4, 2012 at 3:34 pm
  I am still having to recalibrate all my mental pictures upon finding that Mike Schilling has no beard, and that Jaybird has enough beard for the both of them.Report
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  - Rufus F. in reply to Glyph
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    November 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm
    There is one picture of you on Facebook that I’ve always thought should be your avatar here. I’ll point it out.Report
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    - Rufus F. in reply to Rufus F.
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      November 4, 2012 at 4:10 pm
      Whoops! Your wife’s pic of you with an egg statue is the one.Report
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      - Jaybird in reply to Rufus F.
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        November 4, 2012 at 4:16 pm
        Okay, we’ll do that for a while.Report
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Tod Kelly
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November 3, 2012 at 2:56 pm
I loved this so much.Report
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MikeSchilling
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November 3, 2012 at 8:40 pm
Not that I have a competitive nature, or anything, but http://youtu.be/EI77ezlXDMYReport
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- Jaybird in reply to MikeSchilling
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  November 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm
  Awesome.Report
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- Jeff No-Last-Name in reply to MikeSchilling
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  November 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm
  FUNNY!!!Report
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Chris
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November 5, 2012 at 8:29 am
I’d swear I saw a bird fly out of your beard at the end there.Report
Reply

Ten Second News

Boris Johnson set to win a clear majority in U.K. election, exit poll suggests

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Boris Johnson set to win a clear majority in U.K. election, exit poll suggests

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[caption id="attachment_323482" align="aligncenter" width="750"] Photo via Financial Times via Wikimedia Commons[/caption]

From NBC:

LONDON — Boris Johnson looked set Thursday to stay on as prime minister and win a huge majority in the British Parliament, according to an exit poll published as voting closed in what has been called the most important election in a generation.
A Conservative victory would mean that the United Kingdom is all but certain to finally leave the European Union on Jan. 31, more than three and a half years after the Brexit referendum in 2016. A divided and deadlocked Parliament had previously blocked Johnson’s withdrawal deal multiple times, prompting this election.

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Greta Thunberg named Time’s Person of the Year 2019.

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Greta Thunberg named Time’s Person of the Year 2019.

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Time has announced Greta Thunberg as their 2019 Person of the Year.

.@GretaThunberg is TIME's 2019 Person of the Year #TIMEPOY https://t.co/YZ7U6Up76v pic.twitter.com/SWALBfeGl6
— TIME (@TIME) December 11, 2019

(Featured image is Time Magazines cover announcing Greta Thunberg)

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DOJ IG Michael Horowitz’s Report on 2016 FBI Released

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DOJ IG Michael Horowitz’s Report on 2016 FBI Released

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[caption id="attachment_323385" align="aligncenter" width="748"] IG Michael Horowitz testifies before congress on Clinton email investigation[/caption]

Inspector General Michael Horowitz’s review of the FBI’s handling of its investigation of the Trump campaign in 2016 is out, and folks are pouring over the 476 pages.

Politico:

A much-anticipated review of how the FBI came to investigate the Trump campaign's possible links to Russia has validated the agency’s decision to open its probe.
The report, compiled by the Justice Department’s inspector general, stresses that political bias did not influence the bureau’s actions, as President Donald Trump and his allies have frequently alleged.
But the document is also littered with criticisms of FBI officials and how they vetted some information, such as a dossier of salacious allegations compiled by an ex-British spy.
Key takeaways from the report
The FBI did not use the Steele dossier to open Russia probe
Lynch, Comey sat for IG interviews
No evidence political bias was a factor

The full redacted public report can be read here:

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Day Ending in “Y” Impeachment Update

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Day Ending in “Y” Impeachment Update

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[caption id="attachment_322423" align="aligncenter" width="709"] Creator: Trikosko, Marion S., photographer; Related Name: O'Halloran, Thomas J. , photographer [Public domain][/caption]

You can watch the hearings live here, and discuss/debate with the Ordinary Times Commentareum throughout:

The House Judiciary Committee is hearing presentations from congressional investigators about the impeachment inquiry into President Trump's dealings with Ukraine, as Democrats prepare to draft articles of impeachment.
Monday's hearing includes testimony from Democratic and Republican attorneys from the House Intelligence and Judiciary Committees. The House Intelligence Committee submitted its report last week on its investigation into Mr. Trump's efforts to get Ukraine to open investigations into the 2016 election and a company linked to the Bidens.
Those events are at the center of the Democratic case against the president, which the attorneys are laying out on Monday. Last week, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi directed the committee chairs to pursue articles of impeachment, with a vote expected before the Christmas holiday.
House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler said on Sunday that the committee will "presumably" introduce articles of impeachment this week.

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UPS Truck Hijacked. Hijackers Shot, Killed. UPS Truck Driver Shot, Killed. Bystander Shot, Killed. Passive Voice Used.

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UPS Truck Hijacked. Hijackers Shot, Killed. UPS Truck Driver Shot, Killed. Bystander Shot, Killed. Passive Voice Used.

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From CNN:

The UPS hijacking ended in a hail of bullets in rush-hour traffic. Police now face questions about their response

In the end, four people were shot dead at the intersection in Miramar, authorities said, including two robbery suspects, a bystander, and hostage UPS driver Frank Ordonez -- a man who relatives say had been substituting for a colleague who had called out from work that day.
The slain robbers and hijackers were Lamar Alexander, 41, and Ronnie Jerome Hill, 41, both of Miami-Dade County, the FBI said. Authorities haven't released the name of the bystander who was killed.
Numerous questions about the chase and its finale remain, including who shot Ordonez and the bystander.

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