Well hello there…
(This introduction will be conducted entirely in the 4th person singular, a grammatical person invented by Metta World Peace when, in attempting to speak about himself in the 3rd person, accidently referred to himself by a name other than his own.)
1. Who are you?
Kazzy is a 28-year-old Pre-K teacher living in the mountains against his will. He is recently married and has a quantity of cats that exceeds his preference (0) but falls short of his wife’s (“all of them”).
2. What are you doing here?
After suckering Jaybird into allowing him to join Mindless Diversions, Kazzy gleefully took on the role of resident jock. Bogged down by the Bird’s draconian restrictions on political speech, he successfully pestered Mr. Kain into attaining Front Page Privileges (you down with FPP?) to take his nonsense to a larger audience. This was likely a rare terrible decision by the otherwise unflappable Mr. Kain.
3. If you could be elite at any athletic endeavor, what would it be?
A HOF-caliber NFL free safety, with a playing style reminiscent of Brian Dawkins and Ed Reed. While the MLB is often described as the quarterback of the defense, Kazzy prefers being out in centerfield, free to roam, set matchups, and make plays where plays need to be made. If real life is any indication, fantasy-Kazzy would be more likely to injure himself than his opponents, keeping him off of Roger Goodel’s poop list.
4. What does your wife think of you blogging?
Zazzy doesn’t really understand what blogging is. She constantly mixes up the League of Ordinary Gentlemen with the Art of Manliness. As a fairly-knowledgeable-sports-fan-for-a-lady, she often has an interesting perspective on Kazzy’s topics that help him better formulate his posts (particularly the one on Penn State). She wishes he spent less time on the iPad, but he wishes she spent less time watching “Toddlers and Tiaras”. Kazzy considers this a wash.
5. What is your favorite food?
While Kazzy will fully acknowledge that there are a number of foods that can defeat his choice in a single-elimination matchup, top-notch New York/New Jersey slice pizza is a food he will never not enjoy. He is always in the mood for it and after spending a combined 7 years living in Boston and Maryland, has vowed to never live in an area with subpar pizza ever again.
6. Anything useful you can offer the folks here?
If you don’t know how to purge eggplant, learn how to do it. It is a simple process that transforms a vegetable many folks feel has an odd texture into unadulterated tastiness, especially when breaded and fried. Kazzy is happy to teach anyone his technique. He also has an exciting plan for a Jukebox Friday post, should the opportunity to do one present itself. He hopes he can make up for his lack of musical knowledge with a very cool approach, presuming he can pull it off.