The Henchman’s Diary

Tod Kelly

Tod is a writer from the Pacific Northwest. He is also serves as Executive Producer and host of both the 7 Deadly Sins Show at Portland's historic Mission Theatre and 7DS: Pants On Fire! at the White Eagle Hotel & Saloon. He is  a regular inactive for Marie Claire International and the Daily Beast, and is currently writing a book on the sudden rise of exorcisms in the United States. Follow him on Twitter.

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25 Responses

  1. Patrick Cahalan says:


  2. Anne says:

    Space awesome!Report

  3. Rose says:

    Love it. My favorite: As best I can tell, he’s kind of like the jagoff from the Health Department that used to show up at Subway and tell me that I wasn’t handling the food right, even though that guy had clearly never worked food service.Report

  4. 1)  This is so, so awesome.  So incredibly, unbelievably awesome.

    2)  It is now only a manner of time before I relinquish my top spot.Report

  5. Mike Schilling says:

    Sent Sharon the text, “breakin rules & gettin job done!!!”

    This is already a funny idea.

    a few times.

    But this makes it fishing brilliant.

    Haven’t heard back.

    And now? Space fishing awesome.


  6. Burt Likko says:

    Way to impress The Boss, chum!

    (Others have already noted the space awesomeness of this post. I’ll add that the September 18 entry sounds quite a lot like about half of my employment law intake interviews.)Report

  7. Miss Mary says:


  8. Jeff says:

    Am I the only one who read the fisrt sentence ansd went “Crap!  That sucks!”?  Then I read “Subway” and was able to enjoy the joke. 

    +5000 for awesome.Report

  9. Rod says:

    Thoroughly enjoyable! Good work.Report

  10. James Hanley says:

    Brilliant, Tod.  I’m pretty sure I’ve worked with that guy at some of his other odd jobs (prior to his getting the shark tank job, that is).Report

  11. Kyle Cupp says:

    Methinks you’ve just invented a meme.Report

  12. Murali says:


  13. Rtod says:

    Thanks, everybody!

    This was as much fun as I’ve ever had writing a post, so I’m reallyglad people enjoyed it.Report

  14. Michelle says:


  15. I loved this post, Tod.Report

  16. Mopey Duns says:

    I would just like to note that if you google ‘iced topes’, ‘isotopes’ do in fact come up under the ‘Did you mean?’ suggestions box.  Which means that the henchman got exactly what he deserved.

    Seriously though, that was brilliant.

    It also points out the fact that the Joker plays a really valuable role in culling the herd.Report