Look, Ma… I’m a Terrorist!

The FBI guidelines for spotting suspicious activity in an Internet Cafe:

• Are overly concerned about privacy, attempts to shield the screen from view of others

Check!

• Always pay cash or use credit card(s) in different name(s)

Usually pay cash, check!

• Apparently use tradecraft: lookout, blocker or someone to distract employees

Have small children, check!

• Act nervous or suspicious behavior inconsistent with activities

Someone has found my goateed face nefarious, I’m sure. Check!

• Are observed switching SIM cards in cell phone or use of multiple cell phones

Used to have to carry two cell phones, check!

• Travel illogical distance to use Internet Café

California license plates in Utah, Idaho, Montana, Arizona, Nevada. Check!

• Evidence of a residential based internet provider (signs on to Comcast, AOL, etc.)

Okay, not in a decade, but yes!

• Use of anonymizers, portals, or other means to shield IP address

I have used TOR in a cafe before, check!

• Suspicious or coded writings, use of code word sheets, cryptic ledgers, etc.

Anyone seen what an open book on set theory looks like to a layman? Check!

• Encryption or use of software to hide encrypted data in digital photos, etc.

Encryption, yes! How a cafe worker would know what I was doing with it, I don’t know. Close enough!

• Suspicious communications using VOIP or communicating through a PC game

Check!

• Download content of extreme/radical nature with violent themes

Every video game that’s been released since… well, nearly forever. Check!

• Gather information about vulnerable infrastructure or obtain photos, maps or diagrams of transportation, sporting venues, or populated locations

I’m writing my neighborhood crisis management plan, check!

• Purchase chemicals, acids, hydrogen peroxide, acetone, fertilizer, etc.

Yep, done that too!

• Download or transfer files with “how-to” content such as:
  – Content of extreme/radical nature with violent themes
  – Anarchist Cookbook, explosives or weapons information
  – Military tactics, equipment manuals, chemical or biological information
  – Terrorist/revolutionary literature
  – Preoccupation with press coverage of terrorist attacks
  – Defensive tactics, police or government information
  – Information about timers, electronics, or remote transmitters / receivers

Yes, yes, yes, no, yes, yes, and yes. And some of the papers I’ve read about Somali piracy might come across as sympathetic to the pirates, so even the no could be considered a yes, to the right audience.

Stay alert!  Trust No One!  Keep Your Laser Handy!