The Music of the Trolls

The Music of the Trolls


The Retardicans
the “party of old men” in the US
they manage to get elected.
The Mullahs of Iran
the “party of old fuddy-duddies.”
Somehow they keep
just fine.

Just fine.

The list goes on.

You say “Half the Arabs are well under 30
they won’t stand for the MB.”
No, but they WILL stand
the Ree Tardy-style MB-subgroup
will pop up.

Pop up.

   – Mike, The League of Ordinary Gentlemen


You know you’re touching a raw nerve.
Official conspirators, their attack shills begin

smearing you with silly names
deleting your posts
tampering with the judgments.

Yes those buildings were brought down with


   – Dave, topix

The children, they suffer the consequences.

Horrible consequences!

Bitter tears mean little to the fat capitalist
stealing from the children
stealing to make sure he has his yacht.

His Lexus.

His trophy wive.

Amen, brother.

– drexl515; Redstate

The Awesome Eloquents

I can just see us striding t’internets,
Proud, Strong and Eloquent.
But then we’re labelled; cut off from the common
eloquent by our recognition
and unfolding fame.
Pretty soon we’re phoning it in.
You think you can do better? GET THE F**K OUT!
You’re Fassbendier than a Community Murdertank,
Terriers, hooray Left Wing, Boo Palin”

[Nailed it!]

And the sycophants will laugh! Salaries will go
through the roof. Blow will rule the day.


 – Ender; Pjima


most westerners are clueless about Islam
otherwise we wouldn’t be so f**ked right now.
islamic terrorism
western interventionism. want to stop it?

trying to terraform islamic culture into a variant of western culture

religious nationalism, the teabaggers

are in this country

only the teabaggers want to expulse
disenfranchise their fellow american citizens
repulse invader/occupier missionary crusaders.
sorry if that hurts your fee fees
our “armed social workers” – missionaries with guns.

   – Samara; Ballon Juice


Well, so much for the League.

They’re defending fascism
wiping out any comment to the contrary.

I try to respond, the comment vanished

“error: please enter a comment.”

I shan’t be coming here again,

The League is obviously uninterested

     – There Is No Point Left; The League of Ordinary Gentlemen


Note: One of the things I remember from my sophomore poetry class in college is that through the ages, the great poets have often been unpopular, misunderstood muckrakers.  Consequently, their genius was often misunderstood by their contemporaries.  They were, in other words, the trolls of their respective times.  In a hundred years or so, who’s to say which of us will be identified as the artist, and which the bourgeoisie? 

All of the poems above are real troll comments that I have run across recently.  I have taken the liberty to edit each, with a focus only on punctuation and trimming down some overly wordy parts of works.  However, I have tried to keep the artist’s original intent intact.  Not knowing how to contact a troll, I was unable to get permission to change their comments, so I ask forgiveness in advance for doing so.

And of course, consider this an open thread…

Please do be so kind as to share this post.

35 thoughts on “The Music of the Trolls

  1. I see a strong influence of Allen Ginsburg in Ender’s piece; its raw emotion building to a crescendo is so reminiscent of Howl it gives me the shivers.

    And do I detect an homage to e.e. cummings offered by Samara?

    There’s some talented, well-read folks out there.


  2. Intriguing indeed that  you chose to take “trolls”, mangle their words, rather than address the points they made. I’m reminded of when your fellows chose to artificially rewrite the posts of others and in a few cases simply posted fake posts under the same name in order to tar and feather someone.

    You’re more intellectually dishonest than anyone had heretofore believed. Have fun beating up on strawmen, since you aren’t capable of engaging in honest conversation.


    • I’m reminded of when your fellows chose to artificially rewrite the posts of others and in a few cases simply posted fake posts under the same name in order to tar and feather someone.

      That incident that happened that one time and then everybody jumped all over that one of our fellows (even though, in that particular case, it was hardly “tarring and feathering” someone since there wasn’t, yanno, an actual real name attached to the comment in question)?

      You got us, dude.  We’re a bunch of hypocrites.

      Odd that you spend enough time hanging around here, when there are so many other islands of intelligent discourse on the Internet.


      • Ah, he’s probably talking about me. Late one night, I was up drinking, and I got a bit depressed by some particularly stupid, braying comments from one commenter that were basically like the first poem up there, but with lots more vulgarity and “retard”-bashing- incidentally, I’m assuming that all of our left-leaning trolls are the same person; or the left suddenly has developed a serious hatred towards the developmentally disabled. Since I lack that hatred of the mentally challenged myself-and actually towards African Americans as well since this particular troll was especially fond of the words “nigger” and “retard”- this comment in particular annoyed me and, instead of just deleting it, I replaced the words like nigger, retard, fucking assholes and so forth with terms from Dr. Seuss books. It made the original comment- actually I think it was two of them- a lot more pleasant and no less logical, but we all agreed after a long thread that it was wrong of me to change the comments without notifying anyone that I had done so. Inevitably, of course, it also revealed to the entire Internet that we’re fascists who censor the shocking truth about Republicans being retards because we’re intellectual cowards. So, sorry for that. Cat’s out of the bag, unfortunately.


    • I may be a mere sub-blogger hereabouts, but if I may presume to speak on behalf of the League writ large as an occasional main page contributor, I will happily go through the “points” made in the original comments poetically modified above:

      1) Not all Republicans are retarded.  Or old.

      2)  Dunno the specifics of Dave’s beef, and thus it is difficult to address his “point.”  The best I can come up with is to shrug apologetically and say that sometimes shitty comments get deleted.  It’s a hard-knock life here on teh Internets.

      3)  I am delighted to know that drexl515 is thinking of the children.  Finally, finally someone is.

      4)  I will pay cash money to anyone who can suss out a point in Ender’s comment.

      5)  While no fan of the Tea Party movement, I am not aware of efforts to “expluse” anyone.  Nor of the existence of the word “expulse.”

      6)  See above re: the occasional deletion of shitty comments.  Presumably the deletion of the comments in question was due to their inherent shittiness, and not because of a pro-fascism bias here at the League,  With the possible exception of Kuznicki, whose frequent posts in support of untrammeled government power are a cause of  concern, I think we’re all safely “non-fascist” as a rule.

      I await your cogent rebuttal.


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