Gripes

I’m not feeling super-motivated to write about politics these days – the two debates and the job speech over the last couple weeks have left me too exhausted to even bother – so instead I’m going to channel all of that disappointment into talking about things I hate. This is not an interesting post, but I think it will start some fights in the comments, and that’s the kind of mood I’m in at this point. So here goes:

Wheat bread. Hate it. It tastes awful. I don’t care if it’s better for me than white bread for whatever reason; it still tastes awful. Of course, there is a spectrum. Some lighter things, like honey wheat bread, can be okay. They’re still soft and crusty and basically what I want out of bread. The other end of the spectrum is pretty much everything they sell at Whole Foods. It’s dense, weighs a million pounds, and tastes like dirt.

Mayonnaise. Even worse. Do people like this stuff, or do they just eat it because all the wheat bread they’re forcing down their gullets is too dry and hard to enjoy without a(n un) healthy dollop of rancid egg and oil?

3D. I know I defended this in my last post about the movie industry, because people do seem to like it, but still. It’s terrible. A gigantic gimmick that people force themselves to deal with because it’s the next new thing, and new things are always good. Never mind that it leaches brightness and color out of everything, or that those glasses are incredibly uncomfortable (especially if, like me, you have your own preexisting glasses that they need to sit on top of). Nintendo’s recent adventures with their 3DS system do give me some hope that people aren’t going to keep falling for this.

The Star Spangled Banner. Yeah, I know I’m a communist un-American whatever. But it’s not a very good song. Or at least the lyrics are terrible; I don’t mind the music itself. “O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming” doesn’t even appear to be English. The worst crime, of course, is that everyone has to over-sing the thing. Not every syllable in the song needs to go on for 5 seconds. Most of us have a baseball or football game we’d rather be watching, so just hurry it along, wouldja?

Soccer. Speaking of times we’d rather be watching a baseball or football game. Good grief. I realize a lot of the world has simmering resentments they need to work out, but could we select a sport that doesn’t involve people running back and forth for a few hours, nobody accomplishing anything, and a final score of 0-0? The only upside of the World Cup is that it’s usually on at a time I don’t have to see it.

There. I’m not sure I feel better, but I’m getting there. Tell me why I’m crazy.