birther 2.0
I must say, these “birther” conspiracy-theorists really have put a tether on their imaginations. Why stop at Obama’s birth, for instance? I personally not only believe that Obama was born in Kenya, I believe he’s still there. Yep. You heard that right. Indeed, it is my firm belief that Barack Hussein Obama has never once stepped foot in this country. The election was a fraud.
I’m sure a number of questions leap to mind at this point. Let me assuage your doubt with one word: Holograms.
That is the answer to any question you might have along the lines of “Well then how did he do all those speeches during the campaign?” or “How does he run business at the White House?” We have the technology. And the government, well they always have even better, cooler technology. So imagine if CNN can do holograms what the feds can do….
(I know, I know. It’s blowing your mind. Mine too.)
So you know what? Until someone can give me definitive proof that Obama is not just a holographic image being beamed here from Kenya, well, I’m going to just keep yammering on and on and on about it since I really have nothing better to do with my time. I just want the truth, damnit, and for the truth to be set free, I need the proof. (Truth-proof! If it rhymes it has to be for real….)
What is definitive (truth)proof, you ask? Well, the man himself. To hell with the birth certificate (even if he was born in Hawaii, that doesn’t mean he’s here now.) I want Obama to come to my house and prove that he’s not a hologram.
All this “birther” nonsense is just a story conjured up by the mainstream liberal media to take us off the scent. We need to get back to basics and uncover the real story. Holograms, man. Holograms.
Holograms are absurd. Obama is obviously a robot created by the liberal-industrial complex to weaken America before ultimate surrender to the French.Report
We know that the birth certificate says that he was born on American soil.
We need to see the birth certificate because the name on his original birth certificate was *BARRY*. NOT BARACK.
He’s been lying to all of us. We didn’t elect a “Barack Obama”.
We elected a *BARRY*.Report
Damn you Jaybird, now you’ve got me thinking about how many more states Barack would have carried had he been Barry.
Not to mention how much less Democratic run-off we’d have had to endure…Report
Barry Hussein!!!Report
Ok, ok…Perhaps we’d also need a ‘Harold’ in there. That’d probably up the ‘elitist’ stakes, however. Which leaves us wondering if “Ivory tower egg-head” is a worse smear than “Dead dictator” in electoral outcome terms. Counter-factuals always end up muddled things…Report
Barry Harry?Report
Barry Harry O’Brien would have swept 49 states.Report
In my opinion the Republican Party has been taken over the most extreme religious right (people who love to push their beliefs on others while trying to take away their rights) and that’s who they need to focus on if they real want to win. Good Luck, because as they said in WACO, “We Ain’t Coming Out”.
In the same vein, to all the birthers in La, La Land, it is on you to prove to all of us that your assertion is true, if there are people who were there and support your position then show us the video (everyone has a price), either put up or frankly shut-up. I heard Orly Taitz, is selling a tape (I think it’s called “Money, Lies and Video tape”). She is from Orange County, CA, now I know what the mean when they say “behind the Orange Curtain”, when they talk about Orange County, the captial of Conspiracy Theories. You know Obama has a passport, he travel abroad before he was a Senator, but I guess he fooled them too?Report
For pity sake. Are you serious. His Highness, thanks Bob Cheeks, existed long before holograms existed.
Look, E.D., you’re missing the real story up to now. There are at minimum two Barack Obamas. One born in Kenya, one born in Hawaii. The stupid Americans elected the Kenyan. I was told, I can’t divulge my source, that a Barack Obama is seeking an office in, hold on to your hats, North Korea. Fucking A!Report
Ooooh, that’s even better than mine.Report
No, yours is bigger.Report
My source just updated me. Clinton met with the North Korean Obama while he, Clinton, was in NK supposedly to free the “lady journalists.” There more, a lot more, to this than you can imagine.Report
I have a feeling that by the time the Gifted One is done with this country, some of those ‘commenting’ re: the ‘birthers’ will wish they had pursued the matter with a little more diligence and intensity.
BTW, how’s that Obama thing working out for you now?Report
Dude, he’s a robot.Report
Bob, dude, I gotta million of ’em, feel free to use ’em all!Report
I will, but with attribution.Report
“He’s been lying to all of us. We didn’t elect a “Barack Obama”.
We elected a *BARRY*.”
Which is enough to impeach — not that he lied about his name, but that it’s Barry. That’s almost as bad as electing a Donnie.Report
Namist!Report
I am disappointed that a site with the quality and intellectual integrity of the League would sign on to the standard meme that the entire conservative blogosphere is complicit in the “birther” lunacy while ignoring (or failing to detect) the many conservative blogs that have taken unequivocal positions rejecting it.Report
Where exactly is this, “that the entire conservative blogosphere is complicit in the ‘birther’ lunacy….” stated anywhere on this site?Report
Jason, that’s just silly. I also linked to LGF – a nominally conservative site. I link to lots of things without fully endorsing them.
Sheesh.Report
I meant the whole thing to be light-hearted anyways. I linked half-heartedly and didn’t mean to “endorse” the views of that article.Report
So, is the Voice link found at “the technology?” For some reason I can’t open it, all I get is a black box when I click it.Report
Actually, okay, I read all of this quickly. Yeah – what Village Voice article? I linked to Below the Beltway, LGF, and a youtube video of CNN (the black box, Bob…not sure why it’s not working. Hold shift-click maybe…?)
So…yeah…now I’m just confused. I linked to a few things quickly, but not the Village Voice as far as I can tell.
Huh?Report
For a magazine called “Reason”…Report
That seems the main point of the Village Voice article that the post on this site cites approvingly.Report
Okay, I missed the Village Voice reference. Where did the link appear on this site? I would like to see the post that established the link.Report
E.D…….you are wrong….dontcha know….
its really all about teh Joooos.Report
Holograms? But why would CNN do such a thing?Report
He’s a Cylon. It’s just the resurrection ship that’s in Kenya.Report
hah, amazing.Report
My apologies if I called you out wrongly. I assumed you had linked to the VV article because Memeorandum classified your post under that article. I should know better than trusting Memeorandum to be accurate. 🙂
For those of us that write on conservative-leaning sites that are very critical of the “birthers”, it is enormously frustrating to see the vast majority of liberal-leaning sites talking about the “birthers” as if anyone to the right of Bill Clinton was one of them.Report
That Huffington Post video might have something to do with it.Report
Clearly, the feds would have cardboard cutouts seeing as there isn’t a competitive market to spur innovation.
At least judging from the fact that the last few government offices I’ve been in have televisions the size of small boulders while my local watering hole is covered in flat screens.Report