Dear Abby

Jack Gillis proves that sometimes less is more:

Dear Abby:

I’ve been in a long-term relationship with Benry. Bank cheated on me back in the 1930s but I put my foot down at the time, threatening to kick him out. To my surprise, he’d been faithful ever since and seemed very contented. So I loosened the leash a little in 1999 and everything seemed to be going well. He even bought me chocolates every day!!

But now I found out he got the money for chocolates by mortgaging our house without telling me, and he bought his mistress a BMW for every box of chocolates he gave me!! And he’s says I’m fat, which maybe I am a little, but only because of the chocolates he gave me. And he picked up something toxic from his girlfriend and gave it to me and now my asset is itchy constantly and sometimes it bleeds. The money’s gone and the house is mortgaged to the hilt again, and for more than it’s worth, so we’re stuck together. I’m really, really mad at him. But that’s not why I’m writing.

Here’s my problem. He just asked me for beer money.

Should I give it to him?

I should mention that I still love him.

Sincerely,

Perplexed.